The Picture of Dorian Child

I have lived in the same house for 31 1/2 years. It is on the side of a very steep hill. Behind our house, so up the hill, to the back and left have lived the same children for the entire time I've lived in this house. They are somewhere between seven and twelve. And they have been somewhere between seven and twelve for 31 1/2 years. They NEVER go inside, and they NEVER stop screeching at the top of their lungs. I have never seen these mysterious children, but I hear them. Every so often, I'm overcome with an urge, like right now, to go out on the back porch, and shout at the top of MY lungs, "Don't you children EVER go inside?" I don't know if I'm old enough to do that yet. One of the joys of growing old is that you can be as eccentric as you've always wanted to be, and people just think you are a crazy old person. It's dark. It's late. It's cold. It's a school night. And still these ageless children are out caterwauling. It is past MY bedtime. I love children, but I like them well behaved and in small doses. I got a baby fix at church this morning, when I got to hold Emilie May, age 9 days. I'll bet Emilie May is not in her backyard, screeching.


If I leave the computer, in the back of the house, and hop into bed to read, I will only have to contend with street noises and the occasional airplane. Beats screeching children.

xxooxx

Just in Case You Are Keeping Score

I rounded out the week with another Curves morning--twice around the circuit--good for me.  I set my alarm or 6:30 so that I could wish Glenn a good trip--he was off to San Diego after he finished work today.  I'm praying that he gets there and home safely and has a good time while he's gone.  It is perfectly fine for me to run around the country--I'll be lonely while he's gone.  I think I can cope.  There is lots to keep me occupied--stuff I should do, stuff I want to do, and stuff that I really need to do.  And if I run out of stuff, there are always books to read.  I spent a few minutes on the next cleaning project--but that's so far down on the things I don't want to do that a few minutes was all I could spare it. I'm waiting for the skies to open up again.  It was actually sunny for a bit this morning--well, the part of the morning that I saw.  Gretchen is driving north for a visit with Victoria, so the longer the rain waits, the better for her.  She's probably to Victoria's by now, so i guess the rain can come any time.  Last night, when I was driving home from band practice, it looked like it was raining from the ground up.  Great weather to watch from inside.
I won't bore you with the exercise statistics.  I'm a little proud of myself for getting out and doing it this week.  The goal, of course, is to make it a normal part of my week, so not even worthy of comment.
xxooxx

Did it again

Just in case anyone is keeping score, I took myself to Curves again this morning, doing the circuit twice this time.  I figured I could stop any time I wanted to in the second round and it was all gravey, but I made it through.  Once again, it was a Past Bethel Guardians meeting, since I saw both Jean Tulee and Lois Ames there,  I was quite tired and very drippy when I finished.  I might even take myself to the mall this afternoon--depending on the weather.  Right now, it is gray but dry.  I got enough books yesterday that i probably don't need to leave the house for months, or days, depending on how fast I read.  I actually that tasks to do at the mall, so maybe I will...or maybe I won't.  This is what keeps life exciting.
xxooxx

Thank you, God, moment

When you come down to it, they are all Thank you, God, moments, but some are more memorable than others.  It was a downtown day today--seeing my therapist.  Just when I think I've got it all together and I don't need him anymore, life throws me another curve and it is my most important appointment.  Mark, my therapist, moments are always thank you moments, but that's not the one that stands out today--we'll talk about him a little later.  The amazing moment today was after my appointment.  I had a check to deposit at Wells Fargo, so I crossed Market and Montgomery to the ATM at the big bank on the corner of Post and Montgomery.  No problem, deposit made.  I turned around to leave, and there, at the bottom of the stairs were two gentlemen I worked with at Advent--Eric and Richard.  They were with a third Adventer that I didn't know, but Eric and Richard got hugs, so gentleman number three got one too.  While we were chatting, out of the bank came JJ, another Adventer.  More hugs.  What a treat it was to see them.  I really miss the people at Advent.  They were off to lunch--I was off for a walk to Powell.  I love happy surprises like that.
Now for my Mark appointment.  I REALLY needed to see him this week.  I've been having all sorts of strange emotions these last couple of weeks.  Mark assured me that they were all pretty normal feelings and that I'm entitled to feel them.  Whew.  I got great news, I'm in remission, how could I be depressed?  Pretty easily, it seems.  I'm still a little in shock.  It's OK to sift through my feelings.  It took some time to get used to the diagnosis, it will take some time to adjust to the remission.  So if I can get myself up and out to Curves again in the morning, that will be another little step.
Glenn and I had old and dear friends to dinner this evening--so that was another good part of the day.  Little steps. good steps.  So I guess it was a Thank You, God, day all around.  Now to curl up with a good book.  Life is pretty grand.
xxooxx

Did it!

After a week or so of reading and sleeping and little else, today I actually got myself dressed and out of the house and down to Curves for the first time in months.  I only did the circuit once and stretched, but at least I got up and out and did it.  I was dripping when I finished, but I did it.  I didn't want to do it, if fact I tried to use my walk from the parking lot into the storefront as my exercise.  But I did it.  I've also set my mind on the next picking up project.  I'm not going to tell so I don't jinx myself, but it is implanted in my little pea brain and now just waiting to get done.  It all isn't much, but it is more than I did last week--not that I didn't enjoy snuggling under the covers and reading when it was so gray outside, but it was a pretty wasted week.  I'm taking tiny little steps, but I'm moving.  I read two great books last week and I just finished a knit hat, so it hasn't been completely wasted time.  I think moving is better for me.  I don't know if I can call myself a Curvette after only onece around the circuit--but I...well, you know the drill.
xxooxx

So now what?

The euphoria of remission is still running wild, but now what do I do?  I'm trying to pick up, bit by bit, but I was trying to do that before.   There's that stamina thing that needs rebuilding.  The best way for me to do that is by walking, but it is hard to walk in a monsoon.  It was supposed to clear up today, but it has been dark and overcast all day.  I love the rain, but it's keeping me from the walking agenda.  Picking up isn't all that exciting either  The millions of games on Facebeek have lost some of their charm.  Maybe I'll just put all the tasks that need to be done on slips of paper and pull slips of paper out of a hat till everything is accomplished.  No, then I'd really have to DO something.  I've got three more weeks till I leave for Canada--I could start packing--but it is just pathetic when it takes you longer to pack than you will be gone.  I'm guessing that things will eventually fall into place.  Till then, I'll just wander around the house and look for things to keep me entertained.
xxooxx

What's a nine letter word starting with an R...

That word would be REMISSION, and that's where I am officially.  Yahoo!!!!!  I'm not cancer free, I will never be cancer free, but I'm in remission.  Just to be on the safe side, I'm keeping my port in--that means periodic flushings, but that is no big deal.  I'll have a repeat CT scan in two months and we'll watch it, but for right now, I'm in remission and I'm happy.  I'm going to have to figure out who I am, now that I don't have cancer hanging over my head every minute, but I think I can do that.  Thank you all for the prayers and the support.  I'm sure I'll need it again.  Right now, rejoice with me.
xxooxx