Anne's Journeys

Chemo 5.1B--long day

2012-01-24T22:22:00.000-08:00

It was not a happy week. I spent most of it in my jammies. I started to feel better by Friday. The major excitement of Saturday was losing a crown. Well, I didn't exactly lose it, it just came off the tooth. I saved the crown. Sunday was sad. The 49ers came so close to winning. At least they have never lost a Super Bowl. There is always a bright side to everything.
So today. Got up around 8 and had breakfast. Went back to bed and listened to NPR till it turned off at 10. Ally and I went grocery shopping. I was very grateful to have her muscle power to get the groceries upstairs. Noon was the dentist to have the crown reseated. Janis came at 2 to take me to chemo. Platelets just barely made it. Red count was 8.4. The Procrit hasn't kicked in yet, so I have an appointment for a transfusion on Thursday. That will work out. My hair appointment is on Friday, and the extra blood will give me the energy to walk from BART to Union Square. I'm not planning on feeling super this week, but I'll get through it.
I had time for a little rest after chemo. 6:30 brought the first band practice of the year. We read through most of our tunes. Next practice is next week. I was pooped, but band practice always pumps me up, no matter how bad I feel. Yay Ceili!
Now I'm ready to rest. I turned in two hats today. Janis would like one, so she gets the one I'll finish tomorrow. If I feel up to it, I can go to Koffee Klatch in the morning--if not, I can snuggle under the duvet. That's it for now. A long day for me.
xxooxx

Chemo 5.1A

2012-01-17T21:36:00.000-08:00

I am now on Gemcitabine, trade name, Gemzar (easier to pronounce and remember). I started the day with a trip downtown to see Mark, my therapist. Time with Mark always makes the day better. Winter has finally come to Northern California. The air was crisp. I wore thermals, a hat and gloves, and was pretty comfortable.
Vicki was the Minion of the day. It was good to see her. She is the one who gave her mother and me our birthday party last year. I don't think I've seen her since then, but always see her on Facebook, so it's sort of hard to remember. It was a really quick appointment. I had labs done yesterday, so they didn't need to check that. Red count was 9.5, so the Procrit seems to be doing its job. Bad thing about Procrit is that they can't give it to me through my port. The shot hurts. The visit started with pre meds, then 2000 cc's of Gemzar--looks like it should take forever to infuse, but it goes in really fast--you can almost hear it going "Glug, glug, glug..." The flush the port after the chemo is through glugging. My platelets aren't bad, but I did try to exsanguinate when they took out the needle--always exciting. Last comes the Procrit shot in the tummy, "see you next week," a visit to the bakery for petit fours, and then home for a nap. I'm feeling a little nauseous and tired, but no pain. We'll see what tomorrow brings. The only thing on the schedule is a hair cut--postponed twice, once because I didn't have the energy and last week because my stylist's father died. My hair is still thinning on top. Back and sides are pretty full. I think it will enjoy the attention of a cut and style.
I got a surprise when Vicki came to pick me up. There was a package for me. It was a quilt from the woman in Connecticut for whom I made wool mittens in December. She loves her mittens. I love the quilt. A happy match.
xxooxx

Expensive Day

2012-01-13T21:17:00.000-08:00

Sibling warning---Gretchen don't read this if you are going to yell at me!
I got up at six this morning to have my breakfast. Went back to sleep for two hours, took a quick shower, then headed off to Mills Hospital for my CT scan. I must have been really zoning out, because I missed the turn off and had to go to the next one and drive around Robinson Crusoe's barn to get to the hospital. They greeted me warmly with my quart of contrast to drink. Yum. I tried to be neighborly and offer some to the other people in the waiting room, but that didn't work. They found a vein on the first try for the IV contrast. Since I was in San Mateo, I decided that if there was a parking place around 9 Rubies, then God wanted me to go there. What do you know? A parking place right in front! I have a monster in my house that lives on #6 needles. I thought it would be safe to buy needles. They didn't have any #6 straight needles at all--so i had to get baby yarn and buttons to replenish the stash.
Came home, watched the last episode of One Life to Live--really done well and left me with a good, if sad, feeling. It was really annoying to watch commercials for the replacement show. I'm not going to watch it. Since I still needed #6 needles, I went to Cottage Yarns and got two sets of each length. And since I was there, I got more hat yarn--I put hats in the bin at the Cancer Center when I go in for chemo and they are gone before I'm done with my infusion. Also got baby yarn and buttons for the stash, you know. Stopped at the bank and deposited money then headed home. I closed the garage door and sent upstairs. When I got to the landing I heard an unpleasant noise. Went back downstairs. The garage door was closed, but I had a bad feeling. Glenn got home a bit later and couldn't get the door to open more than an inch or two. Oops. Let my fingers do the walking and called a garage door repair company, who would have someone out between five and seven. Finally took my nap.
Mr. Garage Door Repairman arrived just before seven, The diagnosis was a broken spring. Ended up replacing the spring and the rollers, which were just about dead. It cost a pretty penny. I have a five year warranty on it--hope I outlast it.
While waiting for Mr. GDR, before my nap, I got a call from my oncologist--you can start reading now, Gretchen. The current chemo isn't working. The troublesome lymph nodes are a little larger. So I start a new chemo on Tuesday. It has the same schedule, days one and eight, chemo, day 15 doctor follow-up, out of a 21 day cycle. Once again, the upshot is that I'll be there once a week for the next several months. Of course I have to be there for the weekly procrit shot. So, I have a new set of side effects to learn.
So that's it. Not really happy, but resigned. Looking forward to chemo 5.1A.
xxooxx

Scratch the Tour de France

2012-01-10T17:16:00.000-08:00

I know, I know, it was on the list of things I really want to do, but I started blood doping today, and that's against the rules. My red blood count was 8.4 before the last transfusion, 10.4 last week before chemo, and 9.4 today. I signed the paperwork for Procrit injections, and they start them if you are below 10. I guess that's the reason I've been getting tired. I'm supposed to have a scan sometime this week--just waiting for them to call me to tell me when--and that will determine whether or not I keep up with this round of chemo. The shot wasn't really fun, since it was in my tummy not in my port. Janis, who was my driver today, asked if I wanted a lollipop. Might have helped.
The tree is gone, the ornaments are put away, and the furniture is back in place. Is there anything sadder than undressing a Christmas tree? I hate taking it down. It was so pretty this year and smelled so good. It is an even number year, so the nativities may stay out. They aren't a fire hazard, so that's really OK.
Had a visit from and old (but young) friend last week. She's visiting her family--lives in New Jersey with her 2 year old daughter. I've known her since she was seven when we both started studying with the same violin teacher. It's hard to believe that she's all grown up now.
I'm working my way through the yarn but not fast enough. It is still exciting to watch the socks grow.
That's about it.
xxooxx

Good night, no wretching

2012-01-05T10:34:00.000-08:00

Had Chemo 4.3B yesterday--just barely squeaked past the blood test with 89 platelet count. They had quite a discussion before they decided to give it to me anyway, I don't do well with the concept of failure. I was very precise taking my post chemo Zofran. It must have worked, because everything stayed down and I don't feel like a wet dishrag today.
And now, life is so exciting! I have 12 more days before I get more poison. Woo Hoo! Maybe I" increase the joy by paying bills today--way cool. Oh, and I'm back to my 10 items a day. Remember that? 10 items a day that I put, throw, or give away. I can do it.
xxooxx

Christmas, Chemo 4.3A, Company, and Blood

2011-12-31T16:54:00.000-08:00

There's something really nice about a Christmas that doesn't focus on shopping. It's peaceful. I did actually go to the mall on Christmas Eve--zipped right into a close but not handicapped parking place. Went into Nordstrom's and Williams-Sonoma, got what I wanted, and came home. The only line I faced was at Willie-Sonora (at least that's what Lee and I called it). We had a nice service on Christmas Eve--I still had traces of the Christmas Cold, so carols were difficult. Christmas morning we had lessons and carols. I had a reading from Isaiah and two from Luke, which I rebelliously read from the King James Version.
Elaine, Mark, and the kids came over around noon. We had a nice visit. We made some Christmas Cookies to make the season official, and exchanged gifts. The girls had to leave late afternoon to have Christmas dinner with the Other Grandparents and uncle's family. I'm not sure, but I'm willing to bet that I've never had Christmas dinner with the girls. I don't think that's terribly fair, but as we all know, life isn't fair.
I fixed the Christmas roast, carrots, potatoes, broccoli, and Waldorf salad. The five of us were joined by Ally and Danny, a brother and sister form church who lost their mother this year. I snatched resting times when I could during the afternoon. While the vegetables were cooking, Elaine massaged my feet--it was heavenly.
So all in all, it was a wonderful Christmas. Not like the Christmas where the gifts almost forced us out of the living room, but a good time with family and friends.
Monday afternoon, my friend and Eastern Star Sister Jorie came over and we got the chapter newsletter ready to mail. Jorie is a hard worker and a very efficient one. There were lots of pieces that had to be co-ordinated. It sure helped having a buddy. We worked for over four hours solid, stuffing, chatting, drinking spiced cider.
Tuesday morning was back to chemo. They ran some tests to see if I would be compatible with Procrit and made an appointment for me to have a transfusion--yeah. My red count was 8.4. Chemo was quick. My sister, Gretchen, got to the house shortly after I got home. We went to see War Horse in the afternoon. Neither of us go to many movies, but the ones we see together are usually really good. For a special treat, I had a visit from the daughters of an old friend. I've known their Mother for over 40 years. I watched them grow up. Both of them are amazing women. I still remember Kathleen's 21st birthday--I gave her a bottle of Champagne. I think that was before I got married.
We watched the Kennedy Center Honors concert--a must for me each year.
Tuesday night the chemo kicked in. It wasn't as bad as the orc wars, but I was uncomfortable I woke up about 2 in the morning and for the first time experienced the side effect I'd dreaded from the beginning--serious nausea. I think I offered up everything I'd eaten that day.
Wednesday, Gretchen went for a run--I felt like crap and rested. The must for Wednesday was watching Cal play in the Holiday Bowl against Texas. It was really dreadful. Much as I love my Bears, neither team was good enough to be playing in a Bowl game.
Gretchen went home Thursday. Guess what I did--you got it, I rested. The blood transfusion came Friday morning. I had to be there at 9 and left just after two. I took lots of knitting with me and slept through most of the procedure. You usually feel the benefits of a transfusion right away, and I do have a little more pep. Still, after I got home, I slept for a few more hours. Glenn and I went to a dessert party in the evening given by a couple from church. It was a lovely gathering. I propped myself up in a couch corner and let the party happen around me.
This has been a particularly rough chemo--and I get it again on Wednesday. Yippee!
So that catches me up. We have another church gathering we can attend this evening, but I'm thinking that resting is going to win out. Happy New Year wherever you are. I don't need to stay up til midnight. The new year will come whether I'm there to see it in or not.
xxooxx

2011 Christmas Tree

2011-12-23T15:06:00.000-08:00

So here's the tree

The girls did a really nice job on it. Now my taks is to clear the mantle and put up the nativity. I suppose I can do that sometime in the next two days. I'm just happy I found the camera. Things tend to hide. The Christmas cold has almost gone away. Life is grand.

xxooxx

Check, check, and check

2011-12-21T12:22:00.000-08:00

Lest you think something really dreadful happened at the wedding, it was lovely. Cold, but lovely. I don't think I played my best, but it is hard to play the violin in a coat and fingerless mitts. There were no disasters. I didn't break a string this time. There were no inquisitive bees hiding on the music staffs. Just before we started the pre-wedding prelude, there was a warm puff of air. I'm pretty sure it was the breath of God, promising to keep me going throughout the afternoon. When you play for a wedding, you miss some of the details. The compensatory joy is providing a service. I'm so glad Kelsy asked me all those years ago to play for her wedding.
The reception was warm and spent with dear friends. One of the very special benefits of attending a Hollenbeck function is watching North, Ky, and assorted partners swing dance. It is exhausting and wonderful to watch. The joy is mutual. We stayed till cake was served, then Glenn took his very tired mother back to the Bide-a-Wee. We had breakfast with the Bethany Gang, then hit the road for home. We got here between 2 and 3.
I went to work on the Christmas cards, Glenn single-handedly rearranged the living room to make room for the tree. Monica and Becca came over Monday and trimmed it while I was still working on the cards. The tree is really beautiful. I will try to think like a camera in a bit and see if I can find where I put the good one and include a picture--just not right now.
My niece was my driver to see my oncologist yesterday. It was delightful to see her. Victoria is at a very happy place in her life and she radiates it for the world. Doctor appointment was neither good or bad. I'm doing ok for now. If the cold goes away I'll have chemo as scheduled on Tuesday. I expect that will happen, because I'm feeling much better today.
I got the cards mailed this morning, so there is another big job completed. Of course it usually follows that just after you get them mailed, you get a dozen or so cards from people you didn't send them to. I was over-bought cards this year, so that will not present a problem.
The next Christmas task is to clear the mantle and bring out the Nativity sets--which may, or may not, live on said mantle for the year.
Life is good.
xxooxx

Wedding Eve

2011-12-16T20:14:00.000-08:00

Glenn and I arrived safely at the Bide-a-Wee in Pacific Grove. We checked in, unloaded, and went off to find the wedding rehearsal. I managed to come without a music stand--and almost forgot my violin, but grabbed that at the last minute. We set up in the frosty air for the practice--and I couldn't find the one piece the bride wanted. Oh no! I grabbed the piano accompaniment on the way out of the house. It has the violin part, but it is little teeny print and there is a page turn. Well, let's see, I'm sure the motel will have a copier and I can copy it and cut out my part. The wedding isn't until 3 tomorrow, there's lots of time to fix things. After the rehearsal, I remembered what I'd done with the music--had it all along, safely tucked into the music case on my violin case--just where I put it last night after I practiced with the quartet--also found the number I'm playing with them. It was very cold at the practice. Rumor is that it may warm up a bit tomorrow. I'm still praying for rain and we can go to plan B--inside. I've got a cold--raw throat and cough. I called the Cancer Care center yesterday and talked with my nurse practitioner. She called in a prescription for antibiotics, just so I'd have them. If I felt better today, fine, don't take them. I didn't. I felt worse. So I'm on antibiotics, just to keep this from turning into something else.
There was a meet and greet with the happy couple tonight. We went for a bit to put in an appearance, but came back to the Bide-a-Wee. I'm about to hop into my jammies and hope to feel better tomorrow. I'll do just about anything for a wedding and I had no intention of missing this one. I'm very glad Glenn took the day off and came down with me. He drove. I rarely give up that much control. That's how crappy I felt.
Here's to a better day tomorrow.
xxooxx

Music Music Music

2011-12-13T18:46:00.000-08:00

I'm playing for a friend's daughter's wedding on Saturday--a gig I booked several years ago. The friend and her brother-in-law, who's accompanying on guitar stopped by to practice this evening. No matter how bad I feel, music brightens things up. I have to put in some practice time between now and Saturday, but I feel good right now, after the practice. I may be a little old to have found my passion, but fiddling is right around the top. Right there along with sock yarn. I finished a hat and a mitten today. I also did a little vacuuming (yes, Gretchen, I know how to do that) and got a start on the Christmas cards. I should be exhausted.
xxooxx

Chemo 4-2A & B

2011-12-12T12:55:00.000-08:00

Last Monday, after praying for platelets, I got my chemo. They changed my schedule somewhat. Instead of getting 4.1B (my name for it), I got 4.2A, platelets just squeaking thorough. Tuesday was Therapist Mark and my Cardiologist--heart and lungs in great shape. I walked from his office to Nine Rubies yarn shop. got some yarn I didn't need, got some needles I needed, and met a lady who needs wool mittens. I told her I'd be happy to make them for her and got her name and address--she lives in Connecticut. I actually found some pure wool yarn when I got home and a pattern that I liked. I mailed them off to her on Saturday. Hope she likes them.
Side effects weren't too bad. There was another mouth sore and pain, but I have drugs for both, so things were under control. We had the month's Eastern Star meeting preceded by a great turkey dinner. Glenn is turkeyed out--I don't get tired of it. I fixed ham for Friday and we've had it every day since. Eastern Star meeting was good. I'm getting the secretary's stuff organized. I was in a lot of pain, but I got through.
Saturday, Glenn and I got our Christmas tree. It's still living in the garage, waiting to come up stairs and be trimmed. That will happen by Christmas. Same with the Christmas cards. I thought I'd lost my address list, but I'm turning into a geek, and I found it.
I had Chemo 4.2B this morning. We'll see how the side effects go for this one. Next infusion of poison is Dec 27.
That's it for now--I have much work to do.
xxooxx

No Chemo for you

2011-11-28T17:13:00.000-08:00

Well, after that lovely build up, my platelets were too low to do chemo today. It took them around an hour to decide that. They don't do chemo if platelets are below 100--mine were 48. I was sent home to rest. I'll have my labs on Friday and go back. My nurse said that they will probably lower my dose--she said the first one was pretty strong. So, I have a week of resting and hope that my bone marrow does its job.
xxooxx

Chemo Eve

2011-11-27T21:54:00.000-08:00

I've been a busy little girl this week. Two trips downtown--to see my therapist and get my hair cut--and no, they couldn't possibly be on the same day. Had a delightful phone conversation with a friend from high school and college (thanks for calling, Marjorie--hope you got home safely). Had an even more delightful conversation with my niece. Cooked up a bountiful feast for the family. Elaine came over Wednesday night and helped with the prep work. It's lots of work, but worth every minute. I wasn't going to become a statistic on Friday, but I had to take the girls to the other grandmother's house, which is just down the street from the yarn shop. So I shopped small at a local business--had to get more yarn (everyone who has seen the yarn cave is now groaning). I finished a hat and a sock and am now working on the other sock, a new pair of socks, a pair of mittens, and another hat.
Friday night was Cal football. Go Bears!!! Terribly exciting and they won. Saturday was college football all day. College football and knitting--what more could you ask for? Today was church and an open house given by granddaughter Monica and her roommate Sue. It was a pleasant afternoon with good friends. I wasn't feeling especially good, but I found a comfy seat and let things go on around me.
My chemo appointment is in the afternoon, so I'm hoping to get to Curves in the morning and pick up Christmas cards. I'll work on the Christmas Novella this week. It won't be as long as usual, because there was no big trip. I was pretty much tied down this year--and it sounds like next year will be worse.
I'm ready to get Chemo 4.1B out of the way.
xxooxx

Side Effects

2011-11-21T12:37:00.000-08:00

Some side effects are major--hair loss is like that. The first chemo took care of that--second one not at all, and the third time around my hair just thinned out. It is a little early to see what will happen this time around. I've still got five great cranial prostheses and several hats, so I'm prepared if that happens. I've never had a problem with nausea--there's lots of medication for that and if I feel the least bit queasy, I take something.
Then there are the minor ones that are merely annoying, so I tend to forget about them. Mouth sores are now officially on that list. With no warning whatsoever, I woke up this morning with my lower lip encrusted with blood and a popped blister on the inside of said lip. I have stuff for it, but it is annoying.
There are no orc wars, for which I am grateful. I just feel generally crappy. I'm so glad I bought a new duvet last year. Crawling under it and reading or knitting is amazingly comforting. I've felt way worse--see April through August 2008. I've also felt way better. To paraphrase Sophie Tucker, I prefer better.
Thus endeth the whining session.
xxooxx

Chemo 4.1 days 2 and 3

2011-11-20T22:29:00.000-08:00

Day one did not end well. I got all dressed up and went to Pacific Star's Installation. I wanted to go for Marina, who is a first time Worthy Matron. I was hurting, so I left as soon as it was over--didn't even look at the refreshments. I took helpful drugs and set the alarm for 7 to be at church, ready to cook, by nine.
I am glad to say that I felt better Saturday morning. The Dex was doing its job. My face was bright red but I would survive. There were lots of helpers in the kitchen. They all wore name tags reading "Anne's Minion." We start with cranberry sauce--I like to fill the church with Thanksgiving smells. After the cranberry sauce comes the stuffing. Mine is very traditional. Vegetables and sourdough bread had been chopped the day before, so throwing the stuffing together is really pretty easy--especially with so much help. I'm getting much better an giving instructions and letting the Minions do the work. We had five turkeys, all weighing in at a little over 20 lbs. The timing is so much easier when the birds are the same size. We had them stuffed, buttered, and wrapped in tons of foil and ready for the ovens at 11:30. We went home to rest and God did the cooking. Back to church at 4 and took the birds out of the ovens--well, the Minions did that. I wasn't allowed to lift anything. We unstuffed the birds and started sucking up the juices for quarts of gravy. That was my last official act. Kathryn, our new pastor, grounded me and it was up to the Minions to finish the job. The Minions were marvelous.
It is wonderful to see the church full of happy diners. The side dishes and desserts are all pot luck. I was tired, but didn't feel too bad--living better with chemistry. I didn't stay for the Talent Show. It is always good, but I was wearing out and Big Game was on. I have my priorities, after all. I've been following Big Game since the mid sixties. Anything can happen at Big Game. I expected us to be slaughtered this year--that S school being nationally ranked and all. We lead for most of the first half. The Bears played their hearts out and only lost by a field goal. I was very proud of them.
I'm uncomfortable today. I haven't needed as many drugs today as yesterday, but I haven't done as much today as yesterday. I'm still testing the reactions to this chemo. So far, so good. I have Curves tomorrow and a Trustees meeting tomorrow night. I think I can do that.
Thanks for the prayers.
xxooxx

Chemo 4.1

2011-11-18T16:57:00.000-08:00

Chemo at 10, home by noon. It started with the usual blood sucking, numbers being good, I started with Dex and Zofran, about half an hour of Topotecan, then flushing the port then home by way of the bakery. I have my calendar for the rest of November and for December--three more chemos and two doctor appointments. It's either going to be a very long six months or very short. I went to Curves this afternoon--everyone thinks keeping that us is a very good idea. I'm not feeling anything from the chemo, though my doctor did increase my long acting pain meds--I told her this morning that I was popping Percocet like they were M&M's. I'm hoping to make it to Pacific Star's installation tonight. I just have to get into a formal, get there, sit there and be cute. I can do that. Tomorrow is the church Thanksgiving dinner. Yes, I'm cooking again. The Dex should keep me feeling good until Sunday. Stay tuned. We'll see how this one works.
xxooxx

I think I've heard this song before

2011-11-11T16:08:00.000-08:00

Got the results of last week's scan today. I could have waited--forever. I wasn't really surprised because I have been in more pain lately. My CA-125 (a tumor marker) has increased quite a bit--for me--still below what they normally worry about, but since mine has always been low, we go on relative terms. Relatively, it has doubled. I also have some lymph nodes that have grown. So we start new chemo--Topotecan--next Friday, then Nov 28, a week after that I'll see my doctor and the next week it starts over again. After two of three months of this, we'll repeat the scan and see where we are. Pray for me again--or still--as the case may be.
Last night was chapter installation. That was a milestone for me. I wasn't sure I would make it through the term. I did it. I'm a pretty tough old bird. Don't feel so tough right now, but I'll bounce back.
I finished the scarves for the Grand Star Points and gave them to Grand Adah last night. They are really pretty, but I don't think I want to do another scarf for a long time. I'm now working on a commissioned pair of mittens and socks. When I finish those projects, I'll dig into the boxes of yarn and start working my way through. Good thing I have lots of knitting time.
That's it for now--that's more than enough for now.
xxooxx

Catching up yet again

2011-11-05T19:13:00.000-07:00

Guess it's time to write something so that my sister won't think I'm dead. I'm not. I realize it has been a while. Last entry was after Sonoma. It was our new pastor's first Sunday. Today was her installation. It was a long journey, but now we are official. The happily retired Pastor Nominating Committee can draw a huge sigh of relief and say to each other, "job well done."
So what have I been doing. I finished the scarves with a week to spare. They were well received. I have an ante-room meeting and Installation left to go next Thursday. I wasn't entirely sure that I would complete my term as Worthy Matron, but I did it. We had a good chapter year.
Grand Chapter was a couple of weeks ago--one of the best I've been to and I've been attending them since 1982. Kim and Don presided beautifully. Everything went smoothly and I never had to correct their grammar in my head. It was really a pleasure. Grand Chapter, as usual, was followed by four days at Yosemite. They were glorious days--warm in the daytime and cool in the evening. We didn't do much, just enjoyed hanging out. There was even a little water in Yosemite Falls. The weather being fabulous, Tioga Pass was open, so we went on to Reno for two nights. Once again, we had a blast. I couldn't lose. Well, I'm sure I could have if I'd tried hard enough and long enough. We didn't have the option of staying extra days this time, so I came out ahead. I came home with more cash than I left with.
Now i really am home. Next Yosemite trip will be in May, and that's a long time from now. I had my follow up CT scan yesterday. I'll get the results next Friday when I see Dr. Chee. I'm not expecting anything bad. I've been feeling good--maybe a little peppy. It's been a long time since I could say that.
You're up to date. I have a new scarf project, but this one is only five and I'm almost done with the fourth one. My goal is to be finished by Thursday. It may happen or it may not. The world will not come to an end. After that is done, I get to move back to socks and hats and try to put a dent in the yarn cave.
xxooxx

Home for a while

2011-10-03T22:33:00.000-07:00

Leaving the Inn is really hard. As with Yosemite, I know that it will be there and I can always go back. This was an amazing visit. It was almost spiritual. I know I'm paying a king's ransom for the privilege, but it is more than that. The love that surrounds me there is palpable, both at the Spa and The Big 3. I love my friends there and they love me. They pray for me and take care of me. It is almost as though my time there was one big Watsu, and I'm floating happily through my time there. Saturday was toes, fingers, hair, and scalp, all with Rudolfo. I got to visit with Bebe too. Bebe is another one who seems to know what's going on inside me. In January 2010, before I had my scan and people started saying "remission," as she was doing reflexology on my feet, Bebe looked at me and said, "You're better." She was right. Rudolfo is just a sweaty. How can I not enjoy my last hours there since they are spent in the salon? I'm not always glamorous through the various wonderful treatments, but after a morning in the salon, I leave pretty.
Sunday was a very special day too, It was our new Pastor's first service with us. We've been waiting for her for so long. It was a happy time. And I got home in time to see the 49ers win. Life is good.
I got up today full of purpose. I did some picking up in the bedroom, remembering my plan at the beginning of the year to put, throw, or give away at least 10 things a day. If I look at the whole mountain, it is just too depressing. But anyone can deal with 10 things a day. If I do more, so much the better. I also did some vacuuming on the landing, stairs, and hall. I finished the knitting project last night. Now all I have to do is press all of them and they will be ready to go--and I've moved on to the next project--a hat and mittens--one set, not seventeen. After that, I'll start on the boxes of yarn. I've got socks to make for two friends from the Inn. Gosh--then I'll have to take the finished products up there! I can handle it.
xxooxx

Happy Skin

2011-09-30T21:28:00.000-07:00

Here's my last night in 917. Thursday morning I started with Reiki with reflexology and a Rejuvenating Kur with Diane. Reiki is better than a CT scan. It's almost spooky how Diane knows what is going on with my body. It was pretty intense. Diane knows, so I do what she tells me. The Rejuvenating Kur is quite lovely. It concludes with a warm oil and a conditioning mask for the hair and scalp. You don't look glamorous when it's done, but you really feel good. I took my towel wrapped head to the loggia to rest and let it sink in before I showered it out. Next was a Thai Massage--great stretching--with Bill, who is 4 months younger than I am. It's another of those "Will you respect me in the morning" treatments. Love it. Last treatment of the day was a Total Body Recovery with David. This is another of the new treatments. Starts with a soak and concludes with a massage using icy cold and hot stones--I had wondered why Diane hadn't schedules a Sonoma Stone Massage--this was where I figured it out.
Today was my last Watsu with Laura. Each provider does generally the same thing, but each one has their own signature. I think that's why I need so many of them. After the Watsu, I finally did the Bathing Ritual, since I was already wet. After that, I lay by the outdoor pool to give my suit time to dry out and read till it was time for my Balance Body with Laura--my last new treatment. tarts with a foot soak and exfoliation, an amazing body scrub, shower, and massage with really amazing oils. You leave with spa hair--I never realized how much I can look like Albert Einstein--but your skin feels so good you just don't care. I napped on the loggia until it was time for my facial. The facial means things are winding down, which is sad, but it feels wonderful, which is good. Another rest on the loggia to let the creams soak into my face and feet. I stayed there till it started to get dark--at least until it was hard to read, and then I got back into clothes and had my dinner. I had fillet mignon tonight since it is my wedding anniversary (33rd). Now I'm ready to sit by the fire and knit. Tomorrow is pedicure, manicure, and hair and scalp treatment with Rudolfo, and then back to the real world. My body usually goes into shock when it realizes that no one is going to slather it with lotions and oils. I could do part of it, but it just isn't the same thing.
Right now, my skin is happy and softer than it has been since before Chemo. I'm a happy girl.
xxooxx

Back to Sonoma

2011-09-29T00:36:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it--last blog I was amazed that it was September and now it's almost over. Haven't done much--still trying to get my stamina back. Highlights of the month were our Remembrance Sunday service on 9-11. I played Barber's Adagio for Strings for the candle lighting. I haven't played serious music in a long time--it went quite well. The following Saturday was my niece Victoria's engagement party. We had almost the whole family together for the first time in almost forever. Missing were my nephew Kyle, at a wedding in the Carolina's, I think, and grandson Ryan, who was doing boy things with his friends. I had my check up with Dr. Chee (oncologist). Things are about the same. I'll have my next scan in November.
So here I am at the Sonoma Mission Inn. I left home around 11:30. Traffic through the city on 19th Avenue was a breeze and I got here a little after 1. My room was ready so I went off to catch most of my soap. I got to my building and met the bellman--at the foot of the staircase. No elevator--that was not going to work. So back to the lobby to wait for something on the first floor or in a building with an elevator. I sat and knit. I got into my room a little after three. I got organized, then it was off to the spa for a massage with David and the first Watsu with Soledad. Wednesday morning I had breakfast--lemon cottage cheese pancakes--always the first day breakfast--and Watsu number 2 with Glenn. In the afternoon, I had a new treatment--Wine Country Recovery with Soledad, starts with a bath then an aloe-gel wrap, foot massage and facial. It was amazing. My chemo dried skin loved it. That was followed by a tandem massage with Soledad and David. I still think that should be illegal it feels so good. I rested on the loggia for a bit, then it was off to dinner and back to the room to knit. I'm half through with the last scarf in the project--and two weeks to go. I stayed up too late to get to that point and to finish this. I think I have four activities tomorrow--pampering can be exhausting. So good night for now.
xxooxx

September Tunes

2011-09-05T00:11:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how it happened, but it seems to be September already. I should be at Camp Jones Gulch this weekend, fiddling my heart out. Alas, the Gateswingers don't go there for Labor Day any more. I remember when Lee first took me, just before we were married. I didn't think I could spare the weekend, but it came to be a cherished time. I don't think I ever would have started fiddling without the time spent there and the encouragement I got playing with Keeping Up With the Joneses. I think I prefer playing with the Brawlers, because we don't play for dancers and we can play the tough tunes a little slower if we need to and we only play the tunes twice through as a rule.
I had a gig yesterday morning in Morgan Hill. I had to leave the house around 8,which meant breakfast by 6:30. In the morning. I forgot there was a 6:30 in the morning. The gig wasn't terribly taxing--ended up playing less than planned. That's because just before we were going to start, as I tuned, my G string broke. I go years without strings breaking, but my A broke just before Piper's wedding last year and there went the G. Fortunately, I always carry spares, but there was the whole production of changing the string, then praying that it didn't go out of tune when I needed it. The best part of the exercise, was that they paid me for playing! That was a treat--and they fed me--and I got home in time to watch the Cal game. Cal won.
A few months ago, I took on a huge knitting project. I had several months to complete it, so I wasn't worried. I now have four and a half weeks to finish and I'm about half done. So much for knitting socks for fun--it's the project till I get it finished.
The little girls from across the street stopped by to visit this evening. They aren't little girls any more. The older one graduated from college last May and the younger one is starting college in a week or so. The older one was a baby when her parents bought the house across the street. I've watched them grow up to be lovely young women. They have always been really sweet girls. I didn't let them leave empty handed. One got a hat when she asked if I would make her one (no, I didn't sit down and whip it up, I had it on hand) and the other got the most recent pair of socks. I'll get back to socks and hats when the project is over.
I'm doing well. Chemo was six weeks ago. I'm still dealing with side effects, but I'm not as tired as I was, and that's a blessing. My skin is still very dry and more hair falls out than I'd like. I know that is cyclical and will pass. It's like the stamina thing. I'm feeling good for the most part--once again working my way off pain meds. I won't push it, but if I can get off them, I will--at least until I start to hurt again. I'm not rushing either. I think I'll just enjoy feeling good for a while.
That's it for now. Besides the knitting, I have to practice real music. I'm playing at church next week. Guess I'd better check my stash of strings while I'm at it.
xxooxx

Ran Away from Home--Had an Extended Blast

2011-08-28T23:20:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged for a while because I haven't done anything except recover from chemo. Had a transfusion on the 16th and that perked me up a little. Last Tuesday, that would be the 23rd, Dory picked me up around 11 and we were off for a three day stay at the Silver Legacy in Reno. Thursday, as we were thinking about going home the next day, we decided to stay over another night and come home Saturday. we were having such a good time. The same thing happened on Friday. We kept crazy hours, we ate when we felt like it, we never went outside between turning the car over to the valet and retrieving it. We laughed most of the time. I played many machines--Dory would find one she liked and stay there. We each have our own code. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I hardly ever go to the movies--slots are entertaining as hell for me. I spent lots of time playing on house money.
We packed up this morning and left before breakfast so we couldn't change our minds again. I really did need to come home. We stopped at Boomtown for breakfast and a little slots. I kept setting times that we should leave and we kept ignoring them. We actually got into the car around 2--and decided to play just a little longer. So we played a bit more, watched the end of the Giants game on the jumbo screen, thought about spending the night there--but I was out of clean clothes and really did need to get home. I called Glenn just before we left so there was no turning back. We had dinner at Lou LaBonte's just before Auburn and got home a little after nine. Two very happy old ladies. Now we're plotting our next trip.
I'm feeling good--still some abdominal soreness, but my energy is coming back. Have to figure out how to be a normal person again.
xxooxx

Two good newses

2011-08-05T01:16:00.000-07:00

Wednesday morning I got up at five to eat breakfast so that I could get to my CT scan by 8:30. I stopped off at the fancy yarn shop after the scan and the requisite blood sucking. I got two more sock pattern books and extra needles--socks take a lot of needles. The message light was flashing when I got home, so I checked it--my favorite niece calling to let me know that as of her birthday, the previous day, her boy friend became her fiance! How terribly exciting. Her engagement ring was our Great Aunt Jessie's ring--appropriate because Aunt Jessie died shortly after she heard that Gretchen was going to have a baby--who turned out to be Miss Victoria Gabrielle. It is a lovely diamond in an old fashioned setting and Victoria loves it. I couldn't be happier for her, I love weddings. Not that they are in a rush, but chances are I will be around for it.
Which brings the other piece of good news. Because I'm still in a great deal of abdominal pain, I was worried about the scan. Worried to the point that I really didn't want to go to this appointment by myself. Glenn, who has been so good about taking me to my various appointments, had to work swing and my appointment was at 3:30. Dory had a 4 PM appointment, so she couldn't go. This morning, I called Elaine to see if she could go with me. She had a little rearranging to do, but yes, she could come over. I picked her up at the BART station just after 2. We stopped at CVS to pick up a prescription then came home so I could pick up my knitting and Elaine could see the pictures Victoria had posted to Facebook--which should now be renamed Fingerbook. Elaine knows that Victoria is six years younger than she is, but still likes to think Victoria is 16. She was, however, properly excited and thrilled over the ring.
We grabbed our stuff and headed to San Mateo. in the one storey elevator on the way up to the office, Elaine gave me a hug and said "I love you, Mom." She knew I was scared. I didn't need to be. The scan was good, compared with May and January scans. There is still the collection of fluid. Dr. Chee thinks that's what's causing the pain and is a leftover from surgery. It is something that only time will take care of. But everything is stable. My blood counts are all down--to be expected from the chemo. If I want a transfusion, I can have one, but I think I'm OK. Red count is 9.6 and she usually transfuses when it goes below 9. It was 8.2 for the last transfusion last month. White count is low--stay away from sick people. Platelets are low--be careful of sharp objects. All of that should come out as I get through this chemo cycle and don't replace it with another one. I made an appointment to have my port flushed in a month and to see Dr. Chee in seven weeks. She wanted it to be six, but she's going to London. I want to go with her.
So we were happy girls leaving the office. We went grocery shopping so that I could take advantage of Elaine to tote them upstairs. She stayed for dinner and we had a good time, buoyed by the news that I'm not dying tomorrow. We laughed as silly stuff and said that I'm good a lot. I took her to the BART station and was home in time to watch most of the Giants game. I'm not inviting Cliff Lee to the next party. He wasn't nice to my team. I have faith in them and will love them no matter what.
So that's the good newses and no bad news--unless you count the Giants game. They will turn it around for me--it's their job. My job right now is to rest and make all sorts of blood cells. Their job is to win and keep me happy. What's so hard about that?
xxooxx

Chemo 3.DONE

2011-07-25T22:27:00.000-07:00

Finished--with this round. Platelets were 170 something, so I was good to go this afternoon. I finished Rachel's socks this morning and tossed them to her when Mark brought Elaine over to keep me company at chemo. I finished Elaine's pair at chemo. She loves them. On to the next few projects.
My appointment was at 2:30. I usually just settle in. This time, I waited till after the blood count to make sure I was good to go--then I got comfortable. Elaine went on a lunch run. I knit and let them infuse poison.
When we got home, I watched the rebroadcast of the Giants at the White House today and then a repeat of Willie Mays 80th birthday party. And then the TV went out. And the phone. And the Internet. Called tech support and yelled at them. Have a tech coming out between 8 and noon tomorrow. I'm not a technically happy person just now. I'm really glad that I kept the air card for the laptop. I've got a cell phone for emergencies, so I'm not totally in the stone age. This is the second time in a month that the service has gone down. No--not a happy girl at all just now. Glad that the chemo's over--well, that the infusion is over. The rest of it takes a month or so.
I think I'll knit some socks.
xxooxx

Chemo 3.not

2011-07-18T11:29:00.000-07:00

Well, after being prepared for my last chemo, I flunked the blood test. Red count was 10, which isn't perfect but better. Platelet count was 84--they don't do chemo under 100. So I got sent home with an appointment for next week. There's lots of goods--my daughter is here and we can just hang out for a few hours. I'll have a week of not feeling crappy. I do have to be careful about cuts since platelets are what makes your blood clot. I kept this week free because I thought I would be feeling dreadful. So now my bone marrow has to do its job,
That's all for now
xxooxx

Birthday and the first half of July

2011-07-17T18:25:00.000-07:00

Now this is really annoying--I had most of the last two weeks summarized, was just about and the end of yesterday--and it disappeared! Now I have to remember what I posted and if it was all that earth shattering that it needs to be posted. Here goes.
The month has gone by quickly-probably because it has included much resting. My red blood count has been dragging. I had another transfusion on Wednesday, and that has helped some. Much of my time has been spent knitting. I've been ordering really pretty yarns and it is so exciting to see how they knit up. Everyone will get socks, hats, and/or gloves this year--that is if I can stand to part with my little works of art.
Transfusion Wednesday. Special Eastern Star meeting on Thursday for the purpose of initiation. We took in three new members and have two more waiting in the wings. I was very proud of my Officers. Friday was a quick trip downtown for a haircut that was comped as a birthday present. That was exciting. I've been going to the same stylist for about 10 years. Last year, I knit matching sweaters for her children.
Yesterday was the birthday. I got up around 10, read the paper and ate breakfast. I knit until it was time to get dressed for THE PARTY. I share the day with a friend who was having a milestone birthday--one of those that ends in a zero. Her younger daughter planned a dinner party for both of us. I think there were around 50 people there. My table included Glenn, Elaine, Mark, Rebecca, Rachel, Ryan, and Dory. Monica had other plans. There was dinner, wonderful entertainment, presents, and cake! It was a perfect day. I was sad to miss open mic night at church--one of those times that you want to be two places at once. It was a delightful party. I made the right choice for me.
Church today. It was our Interim Pastor's last Sunday. We had a little reception for him and his wife. I wasn't feeling particularly good, so I was just as pleased when that was over and I could come home and veg. Tomorrow is my last round of this chemo. I'll have a scan the beginning of August then find out what's next.
That's it for now. I had a great birthday. I'll be smiling for a good long time because of that. Even if I don't feel my best. I can still smile.
xxooxx

Keeping Medicare Happy

2011-06-30T22:42:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged because I've been feeling poorly, so I haven't done anything. Last night was my sleep study, so that was a change of pace. I've been sleeping with a CPAP since Feb 1996. Users of CPAPs are entitled to new supplies every six months. I haven't taken full advantage of this, about a year ago, my mask and headgear were getting a little ratty, so when the automatic caller asked if I wanted new stuff, I pressed the button for "yes." Ms Automatic Caller also wanted to know if there had been a change to my insurance. Well, yes, I went on Medicare August 1 and it became my primary coverage. Oh. Medicare didn't care that I'd been using the thing, successfully, since shortly after Noah got off the ark, they needed me to see my primary care provider who needed to let my supplier know that I still used the CPAP and was benefiting from it. The wording had to be very exact. So in August, I saw my doctor and told her what Medicare needed. Not a problem and we moved on to my left heel--see last year if you are really interested in that. I didn't think too much about it. Then came September and the fire and I had other things on my mind. When I got around to remembering that I needed new stuff, I guess it was November. Called the supplier who said they hadn't gotten the correct wording form my doctor. I called the office, told the girls what I needed, and waited for supplies. Another month went by and no new stuff, so I called them back. By now, I was on a first name basis with the supplier. She said she would call the doctor's office and tell them exactly what I needed. Then came December and the bowel obstructions. When I finally saw my PCP again, maybe even after my surgery, I asked who I had to sleep with to get the correct wording for my CPAP supplies. She promised she would take care of it. She must have sent the magic words, because eventually, I got my new supplies.
You would think that would be the end of it. But no. I got a call from my supplier saying that they needed a copy of my sleep study. That was three doctors ago and in the end of 95. 95? Oh, they are only good for 10 years. Could I have a new one to make Medicare happy? So last PCP appointment I mentioned it. Doctor said no problem, she'd arrange it. I got a call from Mr. Sleep Study guy a few days later and we set up an appointment for last night. At least it was close to home. The one in 95 was at a hospital about 20 miles from home. This would be in a clinic near my yarn shop.
I got there just before 9 last night. There was a receptionist and two technicians. I was shown to my room, got into my jammies, and was wired up for everything. The whole process took about 45 minutes. Now relax and go to sleep. I settled down to read and get sleepy. The surprising thing is that I did go to sleep eventually. After two hours, the technician came in and connected me up to a CPAP. Relax and go back to sleep. Sure. It took longer and for some bizarre reason the theme song from Lambert the Sheepish Lion was running through my brain--that was a cartoon from the late 50's or early 60's and I'm pretty sure that the only other person who still knows it is my friend, Roz--and I only knew she knew it was that we saw a play with a character named Lambert when we were in Jr or Sr High School and we both started humming the song. Anyway, I finally got back to sleep, only to be waken at the ungodly hour of 5 AM and they started disconnecting me. I still have sleep apnea and still need the CPAP. They will send a report to my PCP who will send a copy to my supplier, who will have it on file for Medicare, and supplied will once again be available every six months. Medicare gets to pay the bill for the unnecessary process. Medicare would have saved themselves money if they had just taken my word and the fact that I've been sleeping with this thing for over 15 years. It is almost as though the government thinks that the earth only just started rotating when I went on Medicare and so we'll need to reinvent the wheel for a while.
I got home at 5:45 and went back to sleep till 10.
xxooxx

Chemo 3.5

2011-06-23T12:46:00.000-07:00

The big thing that happened in the last two weeks was Abby and Eric's wedding on June 11. It was a lovely day and a beautiful ceremony. Good friends, amazing music, surrounding love--all and all an honor to participate.

The wedding dress is my age, having been worn by Abby's Mother and Grandmother. It has been a joy to watch this young woman grow up.

Other than this bright spot, my time has been filled with doctor appointments and knitting. I have discovered sock yarn. Sock yarn comes in amazing colors. You can make socks, but you don't have to. Here are two of the latest:

Fun to make, fun to wear. I have several projects going on right now. They keep me out of trouble.

Chemo 3.5 was not without drama, but I'd rather not dwell on it. It's done and now I'm recovering. I have felt worse, but I have also felt better. Glenn has been on vacation this week, so I've been all by myself--probably a good thing. I don't have to be charming. The Giants remembered that they are part of my therapy and gave me a good game last night--what more could I ask for. Today is a day game, so I'd best get to it. They do require my presence to have a prayer of winning, after all. And I get to knit while I'm rooting them on! What could be more perfect.
xxooxx

Catching up yet again

2011-06-09T23:12:00.000-07:00

I was reminded tonight that I haven't blogged in a while. That usually means that not much has been going on. This last chemo wasn't too bad, though my counts were still descending. I had another transfusion of two units last Monday and I'm starting to feel peppier. I've had my mammogram--negative as i expected, saw my cardiologist--everything good there It's hard to remember, when I have this big cancer thing going on, that I have other parts of my body that are in great shape. The cardiologist was very good news, since congestive heart failure can be a side effect of the Doxil I'm on.
The living room TV spent a week in the TV hospital and came home today good as ever and only $165. I don't think I could have gotten a new TV for that, so I'm happy. I never thought I'd get tired of watching TV in the bedroom, but I did. It's nice to have it there, but I like my Queen Anne chair.
I can't remember if I've talked about Charles. I think I have. Charles was the security guard at my therapist's office. Charles is one of those people who make your life better by being in it. Charles would say "Good morning, Beautiful," and I would feel beautiful. I'm not beautiful, but I felt beautiful. Charles was an excellent hugger. I got a hug on my way in and on my way out. When I got to my appointment two weeks ago--no Charles. His place was filled by some other man. I pointed out the obvious, that he wasn't Charles. Charles was moved to another building. My heart broke. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing now, Charles, I miss you and will always love you. I still get to see my therapist, and that is a very good thing, but Charles was a blessing.
I think that catches things up. We had Eastern Star tonight and elected four new members. I'm very excited. The first time I was Worthy Matron, we had four initiations--I don't want to make that record--meeting once a month as we do now, we don't have time.
I think I have NOTHING to do tomorrow. Saturday is a wedding. I have to keep reminding myself. I'm looking forward to it, even though I've known the bride all her life--and she's old enough to get married! I love weddings--the ceremony itself. Receptions are OK, but I love weddings.
That's it for now.
xxooxx

Chemo 3.4

2011-05-23T16:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is that time again. Blood counts are still down, in spite of the new blood two weeks ago. Down to the point that they actually debated about giving me chemo today. I'd have been really annoyed to go down there and be sent home without being pumped full of poison. Give her the chemo won out. Elaine made a lunch run and I had plenty of knitting, so life was grand. When we got home, Monica came over to drive her mother to BART. The girls are all sticking to their diet--I almost didn't recognize Elaine when I picked her up at the BART last night. She's looking GOOD. Monica's clothes are hanging on her. I'm so very proud of all of them. I know how hard it is to lose a pound. I got a little choked up when they left as Monica got into the driver's side of the car. That sweet little baby is growing up so fast. She has two more days of this term, then she will be a Sophomore! Growing up--a miracle to watch, but do they have to do it so fast?
I'm feeling ok--tired, but ok. The TV in the living room finally died--it has been on the sick list for quite a while. It might be repairable, but it will probably be cheaper to replace it. Glenn and I each have sets i our rooms, so it isn't like we're wandering in the desert.
That's it for now. Waiting for the orcs on Wednesday.
xxooxx

New Blood to Yosemite

2011-05-21T20:27:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh, my faithful non-Facebook readers must think I'm still in the hospital. They never quite figured out what the pain was from, but it got better, thanks to good drugs. My blood counts were way low, so after much conversation, decided that a transfusion was the perfect thing to do. After I sucked up two units of blood I could go home. Unfortunately, they didn't make this decision till after 3 in the afternoon and the first unit didn't start flowing till around six and the second about 10. I called Glenn and told him to go to sleep because I was spending another night and could get a ride home in the morning. I didn't find that this transfusion gave me as much pep as the first one, but I did feel better. I had to cancel my therapist Tuesday morning and my dentist appointment for Wednesday--that chemo and blood count thing again. I saw my oncology nurse practitioner on Thursday. She increased my MS Contin and that has helped.
Friday was great fun. I polished up the silver and had tea for our Pastoral Candidate, our church secretary, and their husbands. We had tea (of course), crumpets, scones with devonshire cream, and petite fours. I used the good silver and china and entertained like a grown-up--of maybe like a little kid having a tea party. It was quite fun. Saturday we had a luncheon for the congregation to meet our candidate. The Brawlers played for entertainment. The hardest part was picking out just a few tunes.
Sunday, our candidate, Kathryn Pike, preached, we had a congregational meeting, and extended a call. Kathryn will start in August. I shall miss the PNC. It was a lot of work, but it was also a lot of fun.
After the meeting, I picked up my friend, Dory, and we were off to Yosemite. I decided to show her a different way into the park and took 120. Things were grand until we was the "Chains required" signs just before we came to Highway 49. OK, then, took 49 south to Mariposa and went in on 140. It took longer than I'd planned, but we didn't have a bus to catch. The Merced River was full and furious. We finally got to the park, showed my "old fart" card, and headed into the valley. Just after we passed the turn off to Bridalveil Falls, it started snowing lightly...at first. The snow wasn't sticking, but it was coming down pretty fast by the time we got to the hotel. What the heck? This was my Spring trip to Yosemite. I'd packed for cold but not for snow. We were in Yosemite at the Ahwahnee. Who cared about the weather? We didn't.
We watched it snow from our room until it stopped--still didn't stick. We had soup and sandwiches in the bar for dinner.
Monday morning after breakfast, we went out for a little walk down to the river. As per instructions from the oncologists office, I used hiking poles for all my walks. I didn't feel unsteady, but those were my instructions and I followed them. And so the pictures begin:

This is a view of the hotel and the snow from Sunday night.

Dogwood Season

More Dogwood and Yosemite Falls

An obligatory picture of Half Dome

It rained on and off on Monday. I had soup and hot chocolate with Gretchen and Jim. They had come up to cross country ski, but the Badger Pass/Glacier Point road was closed. They did some snow shoeing, but didn't have the trip they'd planned. Dory and I napped in the afternoon then took the bus to the Lodge for dinner.

Tuesday was rainy off and on, so we napped off and on. We did some souvenir shopping and a great deal of lounging--our sort of day. I took Leroy the Lavender Pig with me on this trip. He usually goes to the hospital with me, so I thought he deserved a pleasure trip. Housekeeping enjoyed Leroy.

I woke up around 2 on Wednesday morning. Dory was up and sitting by the window--watching it snow. We went back to sleep and it went on snowing. Wednesday was a glorious day.

This is a view from our window Wednesday morning. Wednesday became walking day. First stop was Yosemite Falls. Dory's back and hips were giving her a lot of trouble, but she was a gamer. We stopped and rested several times on the walk to the Falls, but it gave us time to enjoy the views.

The Royal Arches from the Falls bus stop

Here is a very tiny us in front of the falls. The lady who took our picture didn't get it that we wanted a picture of US, not so much the view.

Care for a rest on a nice bench?
More Dogwood. Did I mention that I go to Yosemite in May for the Dogwood?

And water in the Falls--we don't usually get that in October

We went back to the hotel for a rest--and my soap opera. We thought about napping, but I figured I could nap at home and took the bus to Happy Isles.

We had a late dinner at the Ahwahnee--should have made the reservations on Sunday when we got there instead of Tuesday when we thought about it. After dinner, we packed and organized for the trip home. I don't usually stop and take pictures on the way out, but it was just too gorgeous.

The drive home was uneventful. After four days in the snow, it was interesting to watch the external temperature going up into the 80's as we went through the Central Valley.
Friday morning, I had an echocardiagram and blood work--in the new hospital. I didn't take time to explore, but I did check out the oncology ward to see how my friends were doing. I saw Sheri and Dr. Adler. There isn't a central nurses station, so they are more spread out. I took a peek at one of the rooms. I'm not in a rush to spend time there, but I expect I will some day.
We had a lovely trip. The good thing about the wet weather was that I wasn't tempted to do more than I was capable of doing. I have more energy after this transfusion, but not as much as I did after the first one--but then, my blood count was lower before the second transfusion than the first. I have chemo on Monday, so the cycle will start all over again.
xxooxx

Happy Mother's Day--WTF???

2011-05-08T18:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the Bethany Spring Tea--and a delightful event it was. Everything looked good. Everything tasted good. The joint was packed. I had a good time. There was a little blip when for just a minute it felt like my insides were ripping apart--but that went away. A good time was had by all.
I put in some physical labor before the tea--Glenn and I weeded. I pulled out a whole bagful of weeds--worked for maybe 15 minutes. After the tea, I was exhausted, so I came home and napped for a good two hours. I woke up during the third or fourth inning of the Giants game. It was tremendously exciting. I took a deep breath during the game and was blindsided by abdominal pain. After the game (it was THAT exciting), I told Glenn I was thinking about having him take me to emergency. I've had some pain for the last several months, but this was different. Glenn asked how long it had been since my last scan. I said pre surgery--he said "We're going." I gathered stuff together and around 9:30, we were off to the hospital. It seemed a little early for us and I wasn't in my jammies yet.
Emergency was very busy, but I was taken care of. In due time, I had a CT scan. It isn't a bowel obstruction (I didn't think so, it didn't feel the same). The scan showed a collection of fluid, which hasn't been there before, and a lot of stool--which has. Haven't I always said that the secret of life is managing poop? Still, that seemed odd to me, because I've been staying on top of that. At 2ish in the morning, I was given my choice of checking in, where they could keep an eye on things and manage the pain, or going home and checking with doctors (take your pick, there are several to choose from.) We chose check in. So, here I am getting lots of pain meds and being observed. The doctors are discussing it. I'm expecting to go home tomorrow after the doctors finish discussing things.
Remember the left heel? Acting up again. I went almost a week without shoes irritating it and it has gotten worse each day. Guess it's time to call the dermatologist again. AND I had a gout flare-up--also left foot. So there we are, sharp abdominal pains and painful left foot. My hair continues to come out, two or three strands at a time The crown is really starting to look thin. Decisions, decisions--let it go or get it over with--buzz cut it and wear the cranial prostheses that have been waiting patiently for me.
Oh, and for the "you've GOT go be kidding me" news of the week. I have an echocardiogram scheduled for 9 tomorrow morning, here at the hospital. I scheduled it three months ago. You would think it would be really convenient. I'm already here--just a wheelchair ride from my lovely room on the second floor. You would be wrong. I have to reschedule. Insurance won't cover an outpatient procedure that they would normally pay for when I'm an inpatient because it has nothing to do with the reason I'm hospitalized. What?
Elaine is recovering from her dog bites. I can't remember--did I know about that when I blogged last week. I found our from Monica's Facebook status update. Of course, she found out I was here when Becca read MY Facebook update.
OK. I've gone on long enough. Thank goodness for good drugs.
xxooxx

Running away, Easter, Chemo 3.3, and a Royal Wedding

2011-05-01T18:33:00.000-07:00

So it has been a while. Not a terribly exciting while, but a while.
Catching up quickly--
April 14 was our Worthy Grand Matron's Official Visit. Because most of the planning was done when I was really sick, my Associate Matron took over (God Bless You, Marti). All I had to do was show up, look cute, and be witty. Check, check, and check.
The 19th was a big treat. My friend Karen (of more years than I will admit to--I was younger than three of my grandchildren when I met her) works at the Opera House and got me two tickets for the Ballet. I took Monica. It took somewhat longer than I expected for us to get into town, park, and be seated at Max's, so we gulped down salads and were off to the Opera House. The tickets were amazing. Row J, dead center. Parts one and two were all right. Part three was lovely to look at, lovely to listen to, just lovely all the was around, so we left truly feeling that everything is beautiful at the ballet.
Wednesday morning, I threw stuff in a suitcase and drove to Dory's for our little run away from home time. I'd been planning it, sort of, for quite some time, figuring on chemo schedules, weather, and various obligations. We were off to Reno for two days. Dory doesn't like to drive in snow, so I drove. There was no snow or ice on the road. We made good time, stopping for a snack in Auburn. There was lots of snow on the mountains. We arrived, safe and sound, at the Silver Legacy around 3. We were really traveling light--for us--because we didn't need a bellman. We got up to our room, arranged our nest, then set off to invest. While we were arranging, there was some caterwauling in the hallway--ill mannered children, we thought--but as we were heading to the elevators, we saw three security officers and a few guests with the room door open. We did not stop to check out the action but were very curious.
We shrewdly invested--winning enough to be entertained. Dory finds a machine she likes and stays there. I play a little here, a little there. I mostly want to see the crazy things the machines do. I miss the coins. I miss your hands turning black. I don't miss waiting for someone to pay you off when you really need to go to the bathroom. We left Friday morning--had breakfast at Boomtown and played till around noon. I had a six o'clock meeting to get home to. Lunch at Fenton's in Vacaville and home in time for my very successful meeting. I must have been really tired, because I slept till after noon.
Easter was quiet. I fixed roast leg of garlic--er--lamb, salad, veggies, and mashed potatoes. Elaine and the girls have been following Dr. Phil's 17 day diet and doing very well, so I didn't want to sabotage their efforts.
Elaine spent the night here and went with me to chemo on Monday. I could go by myself, but it is really nice to have someone with me. Neither of us felt like lunch, but Elaine did go on a water run about halfway through--"Mom, weren't you supposed to bring a bottle of water?" I took Elaine to the BART after my soap. I felt pretty awful that night and Tuesday morning, but no orc attack like the first round.
I napped as much as I could on Thursday and watched the Royal Wedding from one Friday morning till about 4:30. I haven't missed a Royal Wedding since Princess Margaret's.
Now I'm settling in. There are exciting things coming up this month--the church will vote on the terms of call for a new pastor, Dory and I will go to Yosemite for our spring visit. My hair is coming out--not is chunks like it did the first time, but enough that I'm noticing it. I leave a trail wherever I go. I suppose I could just have a buzz cut and be done with it, but I can't bring myself to do that.
Sad note--my friend Betty died today. Betty had the same kind of cancer I have--hers was diagnosed about 8 months before mine. I don't think I'm ready to go in another 8 months. Betty was sicker than I've been. She was a wonderful resource when I first got sick. I'll miss comparing notes with her. My heart goes out to her children. Bless you, Betty. Now you don't hurt.
xxooxx

Transfused

2011-03-31T15:06:00.000-07:00

The orcs had not made their appearance Wednesday morning when Glenn took me to the Dorothy Schneider Cancer Center for my transfusion. They waited until I got there. Fortunately, I had pain meds with me. I got all comfortable in a chair with a view--could have had a bed. I got Tylenol and benedryl as pre meds, then settled back for two units of A positive blood. My appointment was at 8:15 in the morning and I left around 2. I got some knitting done and a great deal of snoozing. My friend and Eastern Star Sister Meg took me home. I napped for another hour or so. I was really pretty drowsy all day.
Today, I definitely have more pep. I'm not ready to run a marathon (ever), but I feel more energetic today and the orc attacks aren't as bad. I'm staying on top of that with meds.
It's opening day of baseball season, so I get to cheer for the Giants this evening. I have many knitting projects, so baseball season didn't come any too soon. The added energy will help too.
Go Giants!
xxooxx

Chemo 3.2 and other stuff

2011-03-28T23:07:00.000-07:00

The orcs retreated slowly about two weeks after they came so the last two weeks of the cycle weren't bad. I have no energy because my hemoglobin is very low--not so low that I couldn't have chemo today but low enough to for me to get two units of blood on Wednesday.
I spent most of week three and four inside watching it rain. Gretchen came up on Friday. She took me on a forced march in the afternoon--I did a little over a mile with rest stops.) We were going to go to a movie, but there was nothing playing that we were excited about. Saturday was the Ceili. We practiced to two hours in the morning. I came home, took a rest, painted my face--should do that more often--I look quite good with make-up--and we were off to the Ceili. It had a sort of shaky start--Sue was late--so we rearranged things and Andy taught some dances at the beginning. Eventually, things worked out. We had a great crowd and we played really well. I should have had the transfusion on Thursday, because I was really tired. But this is my passion and I played on adrenalin. The band played, we had some vocals, we had dancing for the audience, we had refreshments. Babies Emilie (14 months) and Viviann (9 months) had a blast dancing. It was hard to concentrate on the music because they were so cute, but I managed. Gretchen was very proud of me, which made me feel really good.
Sunday we went to church--i was lay reader and got to read from Numbers (everyone's favorite...). There was a meeting after church with Presbyterian Disaster Assistance--I was tired, we didn't stay. There was also a short PNC meeting--didn't stay for that either. Gretchen went for a long walk in the afternoon while I slept. We hopped on BART a little after four and went to dinner with Victoria and her new family in the evening. A good time was had by all.
Today was chemo--I wanted Gretchen to see what I go through. She did a lunch run and went for a walk while I was being infused. We came home--I napped and Gretchen went to Tanforan to get something cool to wear home tomorrow--we finally seem to be free of storms for the next week. Gretchen made me dinner, which was very nice of her. She's heading home tomorrow. I have a PNC meeting tomorrow night then the transfusion on Wednesday. I'm expecting to feel dreadful for the next few weeks. I'll try to blog sooner but make no promises.
xxooxx

Two weeks later

2011-03-15T21:59:00.000-07:00

My sister reminded me that i haven't blogged in days, so I thought I'd stick my head up and let you know I'm still breathing. The orcs were pretty relentless this time. It wasn't as painful as Chemo 1, but it just went on and on. I saw Dr. Chee yesterday. She increased my pain meds and sent me for an abdominal x-ray. It could be still healing from the surgery or scar tissue. I have what I'm expecting to be the last appointment with the surgeon tomorrow. The incision has healed, but things are still hurting. Blood counts are down, but that's to be expected with chemo. We'll check it again next week and if the red count is still low, I might get a transfusion to give me some extra energy for the ceili.
That has been a joyful part of the last two weeks. We practice every Tuesday night for about an hour. Fiddling takes a little more energy than I've got right now, but it's so uplifting. The music stays rolling around in my head. You can't be cheerless with jigs dancing around in your brain. It just doesn't work.
Beside the band, there has been Eastern Star (two new, enthusiastic members last week--Yippee!), the PNC, the committee that is going on forever, church, knitting--lots of knitting. It's just that there's nothing new and exciting. I wake up each morning, so I guess that's the plus. And if the orcs are retreating till the next infusion of poison, so much the better.
xxooxx

Chemo 3.1 Day 3

2011-03-02T11:47:00.000-08:00

Just a quick status update. The Orcs have returned and have made camp in my abdomen. Feeling dreadful. This too shall pass--just not soon enough.
xxooxx

Chemo 3.1

2011-02-28T20:06:00.000-08:00

Not bad--so far. The whole enterprise took a little over three hours. I had my blood work done last week, so they didn't have to start with that. First thing was Dex and Aloxi (check out April and December 08 for that), then I got Doxil, which still looks like Hawaiian Punch, and finally Carboplatin. I'm not feeling tip-top, but part of that is still from the surgery. And I'm tired. I'm getting lots of rest, but I'm tired. I'm anemic already and taking iron--and resting. Tomorrow is a full day. Judging from past chemos the day after is usually OK. Actually, with Doxil, everything was pretty good. Now I'm just waiting.
xxooxx

Looking to the Near Future

2011-02-19T11:21:00.000-08:00

It was a week of appointments. Monday was Dr. Chee. My surgery was almost as good as it could have been--best would have been if it was just scar tissue causing the blockage. There was some discussion as to whether I would need further chemo or not. Chemo won--but what kind? I could have carboplatin and taxol again and welcome a new series of orc wars on a three week cycle=and no hair. Boo hiss. Or I could have Doxil again and put up with skin problems on a four week cycle. Or something different. Different won--I'll be having carboplatin and doxil with a different set of side effects. I start Feb 28 then once every four weeks for six cycles. That's really the best that it could be. It doesn't interfere with the important things coming up--my Eastern Star meetings, the Ceili (perfect timing for that, the Ceili is March 26), or my trip to Yosemite in May. Bring it on.
Tuesday was Mark, my therapist. A visit with Mark includes a visit with Charles, the security guard in the lobby. Mark has been very good for me for years--Charles is an added bonus. Charles greets me with "Good morning, beautiful," and I feel beautiful, even if I'm not. Charles prays for me when I need prayers--that would be most of the time--and I pray for Charles when he needs it. Charles volunteers for the Red Cross and is one of those who rush in where angels fear to tread. Charles was also not there on Tuesday. He'd hurt his ankle the day before. i may have to make a special trip to Mark's building next Wednesday when I go downtown for my (FINALLY) haircut.
Wednesday was my follow-up with Dr. Allen, the surgeon. That took five minutes. Everything is healing as expected..see you in a month.
Thursday was just a social visit with my friend Andrea--but it's another bright spot in the week.
Friday, the visiting nurse came to check on my dressings--getting better but still draining. My friend Luanne came and brought lunch then stayed to try to organize one of my kitchen counters. "Where does this go?" "If I knew it would be there." It was really sweet of her--causes me a little anxiety because I really am comfortable with junk, but it looks much better. Luanne is another blessing in my life courtesy of the phone company. We worked together for years. I wouldn't like to think of my life without her because she is such a dear person. Friday afternoon was the last doctor appointment of the week--Dr. Maldonado for my heel. She gave me two shots to help the inflammation and more DuoDerm to protect it. I was once given a plaque that read "It isn't the mountains that get you down, it's the grain of sand in your shoe." My left heel is the grain of sand in my shoe. Not a big deal, but a pretty constant annoyance. I'd just like it to get better so I can start walking again...if it ever stops raining.
The rain has been with us all week. It has been glorious wonderful rain. When I can see the drops without my glasses, you know that's a good rain. It is good for my healing and my budget, because I'm not anxious to go out and shop in this weather. I'm happy in a cute sweater, nice and warm inside, knitting. I'm on a quick project right now. My friend Roxanne is a first time grandmother to premature twins. I got a whole book of preemie patterns. It's like making doll clothes. They are so cute--and so quick.
That's it for now. Anticipating chemo but confident.
xxooxx

Remembering Way Back

2011-02-13T20:41:00.000-08:00

I read obituaries. I have read obituaries for as long as I can remember. Because I've lived in the San Francisco Bay Area all my life, occasionally I run into names that mean something to me. This week, the memory tweaker was James Morley. I never knew James Morley, but his father, Professor Morley, was very important to my very small self. Professor Morley was old when I was a little girl on Etna Street. We moved to Russell Street when I was six, so that was a very long time ago.
Etna Street was a wonderful place in the early 50's. Our block was crawling with kids our age. Professor Morley lived four or five houses down the block, towards Derby Street. Most afternoons (or so it seemed), Professor Morley would gather the neighborhood children on his front steps, like so many baby ducklings, and read Beatrix Potter stories to us. He was already a retired professor then, with white hair. He was everyone's grandfather. What a lot of patience he must have had. I suppose now, people would assume the worst about an old man and a bunch of children. I liked the 50's. We just grouped around this great old man and he read us stories. It was a magical time.
So rest in peace, James Morley. Don't know a thing about you, but you had a great dad, so you had a good start in life.
I'm doing as expected, healing slowly. My skin really hates adhesives, so it is really looking forward to being bandage free. If it's all the same with God, I'd prefer not to get an infection in the incision this time. Looking forward to seeing Dr. Chee tomorrow to find out what is next.
xxooxx

Happy Matron

2011-02-10T22:57:00.000-08:00

I went back into the Eastern Star line because I thought my chapter needed me. I didn't really expect to be dealing with active cancer the year I was Worthy Matron, but that's how it worked out. I wanted to serve this year in particular, because I served as Worthy Matron in 1999 for our current Worthy Grand Matron's mother. I thought it would be cool to serve with both mother and daughter. As an added bonus, I would get to be the presiding Worthy Matron when my friend Ethel was awarded her 50-year member pin and also when my daughter, Elaine, would be receiving her 25-year member pin. I was WM the first time in 1986 when lee and I got to initiate Elaine. Also receiving a 25-year pin, and another member I initiated, was Melody, who served as Honored Queen the term before Elaine. Melody has been one of my girls since she was 12 years old.
Tonight was the night we presented the pins. Yes, I had major surgery three weeks ago. No power on earth could have kept me away. I have loved Ethel since she was my first Deputy Grand Matron for my first office. I admire and respect her on a great many levels. It was such a privilege to honor her tonight. I was hurting, but I was beaming and I was blessed. Tonight was truly special in my fraternal life. Thank you, God. I'm a happy girl.
I'm also a healing girl. Things are itching, so I know they are getting better. The Visiting Nurse comes tomorrow to check on me. I also get to visit my friends at the hospital and have my blood sucked in preparation for Monday's doctor appointment. What could possibly be better? Life is perfect.
xxooxx

Latest Trip to the Hospital

2011-02-02T19:24:00.000-08:00

I'm home, at the desktop, and with a somewhat longer attention span, so I'll try to do justice to the last two weeks. We arrived at the hospital around 10 on the 20th. I drove just because I could. There was no place to park by the surgery center, so Elaine and I went to check in while Glenn parked the car. I was shown to a cubicle and changed into a paper gown. Vitals were taken and I settled in for an anxious wait. I met with the anesthesiologist--same one who did my surgery in 08, so she knew what she was getting in for. She wanted to put in an epidural. They tried that in 08 but ran into my back surgery. So armed, she knew where to put it this time. She said it helped in the post op recovery. Good. I met with my surgeon. Surgery was late which didn't help with the anxiety level. Finally, they came to get me. I said good by to the kids and was wheeled to the OR. Now the fun begins. I have dreadful veins. They are small, hidden, and they roll. That's why I got the port. Still, the anesthesiologist wanted another IV. Tried the left arm. Tried the right arm. OK, so we'll use the port. The surgeon, who put it in, tried to access it--couldn't get good aspiration. So the anesthesiologist got serious and put a central line into my jugular vein in my neck. That's all I remember till waking up in the PACU. OK, I survived. I hadn't been all that sure.
After the requisite PACU time, I was taken to my room on the 7th floor. I have now sampled six of the rooms there. I had a private room, always a plus. There was a window looking out to the west, but it was so high that all I saw out of it most of the time was sky. Glenn and Elaine arrived with all my toys and the news that the surgeon got all the cancer--at least all they could see this time around--and that things were looking good. That's good. Cassandra, the night nurse, was able to access my port and move the IV there. My surgeon was jealous--though he did say that they flushed it several times during surgery and that may have opened things up. I was still pretty dopey, so I managed to sleep. Friday was a different matter. I was really hurting. Staying on top of the pain was just not going to happen. I did manage to be gotten out of bed and into a chair for a while, and even walked, with a walker, the RN and CNA passed the elevator lobby to the nurses' station and back. After needing breakthrough pain meds every half hour, the evening nurse got the on call anesthesiologist to increase the morphine drip in my spine form 10 to 12 ml/hour and things got more bearable. Fortunately, you do not remember how pain feels, but you can remember that something hurt..
I came out of surgery with an NG tube--I expected that. What I didn't expect was that I'd coughed it up into my mouth and they had to replace it in the PACU. The second one also came out on its own about a day before they planned to take it out. I was expecting to have them put one back in, but they didn't. As long as I wasn't nauseous, I didn't need it. One less tube. I think I got rid on oxygen on Saturday or Sunday. Another tube gone.
I kept the epidural in till Monday. As long as that kept pumping, things were tolerable. It got a little dicey when it ran out and they weren't johnny on the spot with the next syringe. Adjusting to life without the morphine drip was difficult. At one point, I went for two hours waiting for the next pain shot and for my IV bag to be changed. That was the day that I had a less than satisfactory CNA who failed to pass on to the nurse that my IV was beeping and I was in pain. I dozed off around shift change and was really uncomfortable when relief finally came.
My neighbor in the beginning was a a 30 or 40 something Asian woman. Her husband was with her most of the time. They walked the halls a lot, he pushed her IV pole and held her hand--then just held her hand when she got rid of the IV. That was pure love. It made me smile just passing them in the hall. I didn't get to say good by when she checked out, but I wish them well.
I had company and phone calls, cards and flowers. I didn't have the kids set up my laptop till I'd been there about a week. I updated my Facebook status from my IPhone--just didn't have the energy for the laptop--and there was almost no way to use it comfortably for long periods of time. My memory of the last two weeks is sort of jumbled together. Suffice it to say that things are progressing as they should. If I try to pass this surgery off as "no big deal," as I have said of the last three years, someone slap me. This surgery was a big deal.
I'm on the mend and thank you all for the prayers and support.
xxooxx

Quick check-in

2011-01-27T19:14:00.000-08:00

I'm finally feeling well enough to open up the laptop. I was going to blog about my first week, but find I don't have the energy. Obviously, I survived surgery. It was a big deal. Surgery took about four hours. I felt like I'd been hit by a bus as I came out of anesthesia. Glenn and Elaine said the surgeon looked pretty tired when he came out to talk to them. The good news was that they got it all. I'm afraid I've been a bit of a Moaning Myrtle. Fortunately, I'm in a private room, so I'm not annoying (or annoyed by) a roommate.
More later when I'm feeling up to it.
xxooxx

Surgery morning

2011-01-20T06:05:00.000-08:00

I woke up at 5--don't have to be at the hospital till 10. Too bad I can't have a leisurely breakfast. Last night, Elaine and I organized way too much stuff to take to the hospital--but heaven forbid I should be bored during my stay. I have books, sudoku, knitting projects--finished my blanket last night so now I'm working on 220 inches of border. I guess I can pack up the CPAP now, because it doesn't look like I'm going to go back to sleep.
Everything will be fine. I have wonderful people taking care of me and a small army praying for me. I appreciate all of it. Being sick, really sick, has increased my capacity for gratitude. I can still be bitchy and judgmental--like the young woman at the San Bruno Bart station who was bending over, retrieving something out of a purse of backpack, and showing off miles of butt crack in the process. I so wanted to go to her and suggest that maybe she didn't want to expose quite that much skin to the elements. Maybe when I'm really old I will have to the nerve to say things like that.
I'll wash my hair, so that it has a fighting chance of looking good. It will probably be a sweaty mess by the time I'm in my room.
Oh, cool, it is after six now--that much less time to wait.
xxooxx

Obligations

2011-01-15T22:29:00.000-08:00

When Dr. Allen gave me the choice of coming home for a few days then going back to the hospital for my surgery, I opted for coming home. I had things to do. I'm anxious to get the surgery out of the way, but there were/are things I need to do. Thursday night was my chapter's monthly meeting. My Associate Matron was prepared to preside for me and my son could have taken the things that needed to be gotten to the members there, but as long as I was ambulatory and not connected to anything, It was my obligation to be there and preside. Just after I opened the meeting, I told everyone what was going on. I wanted them all to hear the same story from me. It was difficult, but I got through it. I'm, obviously, not a very private person. If People Magazine wants to know what's going on in my dreary little life, they are welcome to the information. I would rather be open and up front than have people speculating. Bless Glenn, he came with me to keep me company. Elaine has to go next month--she's getting her 25-year member pin. Lee and I got to initiate her when she was 18 and now I get to present her with her pin. I don't know how much it will mean to her, but it will be very special for me.
I didn't have a whole lot on the agenda for yesterday--paid the bills, a little grocery shopping, filling the prescription for the bowel prep kit, and knitting circle.
Today was a very full day. It started with a Lodge Installation in the morning. The retiring Master was very special to Lee, and I've been saving Lee's Past Master's ring for him. Presenting it was a very happy duty for me. Glenn has no desire to ever be Master of a lodge, so he had no use for the ring. Lee worked with Michael during the last few years of his life and was very fond of him. I can think of no finer custodian of Lee's ring than Michael. I'm smiling just remembering the morning. I am also very fond of Michael and his wife. Lee would have been so proud of the job Michael did.
I didn't stay for the luncheon after the installation--first, because I have to be very careful about what I eat this week. The last thing I want is another obstruction. The other reason I didn't stay was another obligation--a memorial service for one of our long time church members. She had Alzheimer's for the last 10 years or so, but before that, she was a crackerjack--always cheerful, always up, and smart as a whip. You never WANT to go to a funeral, but I was honored to know her and privileged to pay my respects.
I thought that was going to be it for the day--that I'd be too tired for one more outing. I was wrong. It is the third Saturday and therefore Open Mic night at our church. I missed the last two--the night of the Thanksgiving Dinner--I was too tired and in too much pain--and the day after I got home from the hospital last month. November's show, I heard, was really good. No one except the committee was there last month. It got close to 7 and I hadn't changed into my jammies yet, so I grabbed my knitting bag and decided "What the heck" and went to church. There was the committee--well, part of it, and one young man who came just to check us out. We talked him into staying and performing for us, and we're so glad we did, He was just 18, but his voice was clear and true. He sang and played the guitar. He sings stuff from the 40's to the present, but prefers the old songs. Frank Sinatra is his hero. He sang several classics and one song he wrote that was absolutely charming. I'm so glad I went out tonight. I hope he comes back and I hope we can get a better audience for him the next time. All in all, it has been a privilege to live this day.
So I'm still anxious. I have full days ahead of me to take my mind off of things, but I'm anxious.
Keep praying.
xxooxx

The Latest Scoop

2011-01-12T19:44:00.000-08:00

For my blog readers, here's the scoop. First, a little catching up. My sister spent a few days with me after Christmas. We had a grand time--a busy one, for me, but a grand time. We walked on the beach, saw Dr. Shen, went to the zoo, saw the latest Harry Potter movie, went shopping at Stonestown, and saw The King's Speech. I saw the New Year in and on Jan 2nd had Elaine and Mark and all the grandchildren over for dinner on the 2nd. Monica and I hung out on the 4th. On the 8th, two of the Brawlers and I played for a dinner the city put on for the fire victims. All this while, I wasn't feeling particularly good, but not so particularly bad either. Sunday, after church, I started feeling bad. I took a nap in the afternoon, thinking it would go away--and, well, one of the pains did. I fixed some tomato soup for dinner. As the evening wore on, I got to feeling progressively worse. I couldn't sleep so around 3 in the morning, I called the advice nurse, who suggested I go back to the hospital. So I woke Glenn up, and we drove through the chilly night back to emergency. I had a feeling that if I went, they would keep me again, so this time I packed up everything I thought I would need. It took longer for them to see me. I had the standard blood sucked and vitals taken. Finally, the doctor came in and sent me for x-rays. At some point, I sent Glenn home to get some sleep--he had worked until 11 that night. Next on the agenda was a CT scan with IV contrast but not oral, and yes, they were going to keep me, they just needed to find a bed.

It was almost noon when I was taken back to the 7th floor. I had the same nurse I had last month. The diagnosis this time was a partial small bowel obstruction. While I'd been thinking an NG tube would be really dandy to suck the air out of my gut, I didn't have one this time. Just NPO (which, strangely enough, stands for Nothing By Mouth) for a day. Tuesday morning, I had a visit from one of the oncologists where I go for treatment. He explained that it would be scar tissue causing the problem or it could be the cancer coming back. So I had another CT scan with oral contrast this time. The scan showed that the obstruction was better, but there is a lesion on my small intestine. They recommended that I see a surgeon. The oncologist had already talked to the Dr. Shen, who performed my surgery in 08. He recommended a general surgeon. AT 7 this morning, Dr. Bruce Allen, who did my first hernia repair and my second port, was standing by my bed, talking about options. I could go home for a few days and come back for the surgery, or I could wait in the hospital. I opted for coming home. I have an Eastern Star meeting to run tomorrow night, bills to pay, and PNC interviews on Monday. I talked with my oncologist this morning. She explained what would probably happen. She recommended the surgery, because she thinks it will help, and said I'm looking at more chemo--a third kind.

So now I'm home to take care of business. My surgery is scheduled for the 20th at 11. I'm to be at the surgery center at 10. Elaine will spend the night on Wednesday and take me in. If Glenn can rearrange his work schedule, he'll be there too. I'm upset and feeling sorry for myself, but I'm also a tough old bird and will do what I have to do.

Keep praying.
xxooxx

Christmas 2010

2010-12-25T13:52:00.000-08:00

A perfectly lovely day. The rain is coming down in sheets with big, fat drops making lots of noise. I love it. When I was five years old, the last day of school before Christmas vacation (and yes, that is what it used to be called, my children), after Santa came to school and all the parties there, I remember walking home in a driving rain storm, splashing around in my boots. The sky was dark, though it was the middle of the day. Perfect. That memory is so etched in my mind that a good gully-washer makes Christmas for me. The lights and the cookies and the gifts are nice, but it is the rain that sets me in the mood.
My Christmas preparations were somewhat truncated by the week in the hospital. I got all the cards in the mail in Tuesday, and did what little shopping I had to do on Wednesday. Rebecca came over and helped decorate the tree on Tuesday afternoon. We had tomato soup and mac and cheese (baked, not out of a box), things I know I can eat with no problem. We had a lovely time and I have a beautiful tree. Yesterday, I made four different kinds of cookies. My favorite are sesame cherry cookies. I can't have nuts or seeds yet, so I had to make a few without the sesame seeds for me. I also made my Toll House cookies without walnuts for the first time in my life. I always thought that the dough was what held the nuts together. I don't have time for another week in the hospital, so I'm trying to be very careful about what and how I eat. Not an easy thing for me. I'm still eating jello and Popsicles, but I can have real food too. I'm even going to try a little green salad tonight. How's that for daring!
Christmas wishes to all my friends in the blogosphere. God Bless you.
xxooxx

Not how I'd planned to spend the week

2010-12-18T15:02:00.000-08:00

Things were going along nicely. The Christmas novella was written and saved. I'd even started printing it out. I had the week to get everything done--not a problem. Monday evening, I had my dinner and went off to a 7 PM PNC meeting. During the meeting, my abdomen started started to cramp. Fortunately, is was pretty much just a check-in meeting and it didn't last long. I was really uncomfortable by the time I got home. Great, I thought, things were starting over like last month. Knowing I would have to be back on clear fluids for a few days, I made a big bowl of jello. And hurt more. I got into my nightgown because I just couldn't stand to have anything around my waist. My abdomen and stomach thanked me by popping out and getting really hard. And the pain got worse. Just as I was about to do some research on the Internet, I got that warning feeling and lost most of my dinner. I don't do that. It isn't ladylike. I continued to heave for a bit. Please, just let me sleep this off. I know I'll feel better in the morning. The voice of reason told me to call my insurance company's nurse line. It took a while getting through the automated receptionist (the economy started going to hell in a hand basket when all the telephone receptionists were replaced by "Press one for..." or even yet, voice response systems). Finally, though, I got through to an RN. I told her what was going on and what I'd tried. She asked me what else I had in mind to do and I said "die." She said that wasn't an option and said I should go to the hospital. It was now about 11:30 and Glenn was unwinding from work (overtime on his day off). I knocked on his door and asked him for a ride to emergency. I grabbed my book and enough yarn to keep me busy and we were off.

There was no one in the waiting room when we got there and no ambulances outside--a very good sigh. They registered me right away, giving me an ingenious blue bucket device when I said I was going to be sick. Triage took me right away and we were whisked off to a room. I think it was about 2 when I saw the doctor--really cute and really nice. He asked what he could do for me. I said "Get a turkey baster with a large needle, stick it in my gut, and release the gas." Without blinking an eye, he turned to the nurse and said, "Get me one turkey baster--sterile" He listened to my symptoms, said he suspected a bowel obstruction and ordered a CT scan. At that point, I told Glenn to go home and get some sleep, because I knew it would be a long time. Glenn is such a prince. It took some talking to get him to go home.

I had the usual--an IV line was started and blood was sucked, It was around 3 when they took me in for the scan--no contrast this time, either oral or injected. Back to the room to wait for results. Yea, verily, it was a small bowel obstruction and they were going to admit me. What? Not on my agenda--I had things to do, fudge to make. Around 5, the nurse came it and told me that they had a bed for me upstairs, but I couldn't be transported until shift change at 7 because they didn't have enough nurses. I wasn't going anywhere else, so I knit, read, watched the clock, hurt, and waited..

7 o'clock finally came and I was taken up to a room on the 7th floor and settled in. The staff was wonderful, from doctors and nurses to housekeeping. They are amazingly hardworking and always kind. I met the Hospitalist, a Dr. Liu, who was charming, and explained treatment options to me. The most effective, though not necessarily the most pleasant, was to insert an NG tube to suck out the backed up fluids and gas and decompress my gut. Second option was to keep me on IV fluids and give everything a chance to rest. It was my choice. Not happily, I opted for the NG tube, there being a shortage of sterile turkey basters. It was not fun getting it put in, and once inserted, I felt like I had a baseball bat down my throat, but it did start working right away. I was also given pain meds and connected to a bag of potassium chloride. I was in a two bed room with an older woman who wasn't chatty, but was going home. I knit and read and finally dozed.

Shortly after the afternoon shift change, I was waked by a patient across the hall screaming and yelling and carrying on like his home was up in a tree. I didn't hear the whole shouting match--I must have missed something in the beginning, but I did hear him say something about there being no place for him to smoke in the hospital so he'd had to go outside with his friends and that was his right--in the winter, in a hospital gown and socks. After a bit of this entertainment, my nurse came in and said they were going to move me to a different room. I was only moved next door, so I could still hear much of the yelling--which went on for hours--including "My wife is a lawyer and she's going to sue you" and the calling of security and the cops. I got the window bed of a two bed room. The other bed was occupied by Moaning Myrtle. I never found out exactly what her problem was, but HIPPA be damned, there is no privacy in hospitals, especially not for those of us blessed with good hearing. The whole time I was there, she slept, screamed, moaned, asked for pain meds, or complained about the food. When she did talk, she had no concept of the term "inside voice." Neither did her sisters when they came to visit. I don't think she ever learned a nurse or CNA's name, or even where her call light was. When she wanted the nurse, she would holler out "Nurse! Nurse!"

Meanwhile, back in my window view bed, I continued to get infused and sucked out. By Tuesday afternoon, my IV started to infiltrate. I suggested that they just use my port--a suggestion I'd made in emergency that wasn't acted on. What a good idea, everyone thought. Of course, they had to wait till they got hold of the doctor to get an order for lidecain to make accessing the port more comfortable, but they got the job done, and it was much better.

I'd called Glenn in the morning, with a list of things to bring me--my CPAP, bight splint, phone charger, laptop, and Leroy, the Lavender Pig. Did I say Glenn was a prince? Glenn's a prince. I made a few other calls, people who would have shot me if I hadn't let them know.

Tuesday night it was very interesting getting the CPAP mask over the NG tube. I know I'd done it before, because I had an NG for days after my surgery in 08. The tube already hurt my poor little already sore nose--the mask only exacerbated things. Thank goodness for pain meds. Even with Moaning Myrtle, I managed to get some sleep.

Wednesday morning, I was passing gas--nothing you discuss in polite society, but a happy topic on conversation in a hospital. Dr. Liu decided to cap off the NG tube and see how I did for four hours. If I did ok, they could start me on clear liquids. It went a little longer, but sometime in the afternoon, after I'd had a lovely visit with Elaine, I got beef broth, lemon tea, cranberry juice, jello, and an orange Popsicle. It stayed down. Just before dinner, I got a real treat--the removal of the NG tube! Dinner was virtually the same as lunch, with a change in flavors--chicken for beef, apple cinnamon tea, orange instead of red jello, and a cherry Popsicle. It didn't matter. I downed every drop.

My oncologist came to see me on Wednesday. She was wearing a mask, coughing, and looked terrible. She asked me how I was doing, and I said better than she was. She said that the bowel obstruction was always a possibility, considering my abdominal surgeries and radiation treatments. At least no one (outside of the ER doctor) was talking about surgeons this round. It is always a possibility for the future. The good thing was that the latest scan didn't show any cancer, so we'll continue to monitor things there.

Thursday, I was walking the halls, bypassed full liquids and went straight to a soft diet, which I also tolerated well. I'd been off blood pressure meds and pumped full of fluid since Monday, so by Thursday afternoon, my legs and feet were swelling to the point that I started to feel like an Oompa Lumpa--relayed that to my nurse, who called Dr. Liu, and got an order to start me back on torsemide. It worked very well indeed.

Friday was go home day. Dr. Liu advised em to follow up with my PCP and advised me on what to eat and how to eat--small meals, slowly. I told him about the menu for Christmas--prime rib--and gave me a look and told me to take it really easy or I'd be back. I called and made the PCP appointment, also called my Cancer Center and postponed my appointment for a port flush after Christmas, on the flimsy grounds that the port had just gotten a good workout. I continued walking the halls and waited for Glenn to get off work and ferry me home. I came to the hospital in my nightgown, robe, and slippers, and that's the way I went home. It was in a driving rainstorm and the slippers were somewhat less than adequate footwear, but we got the job done. I had jello and tomato soup for dinner and then Glenn drove me to church for knitting circle, so my hospital visit was nicely bracketed by church activities.

I'm feeling better--things are moving around. I'm being very careful about what goes in. I'm more conscious of the need to stay hydrated. Most of all, I know the warning signs and what to do if/when this happens again. I usually mail my Christmas cards on the 18th--that's not happening this year. Glenn and I did but a tree today and Elaine and the kids will be over to decorate it tomorrow or Monday. I have to seriously get cracking on the cards. If they arrive after Christmas, well, it is a twelve day feast, after all.

How not to overeat during the holidays. Get a small bower obstruction. Works like magic. I'm feeling better.
xxooxx

Status Update

2010-12-02T12:11:00.000-08:00

CT scan was clear, so I'm still in remission. I had some minor problems, but after two days of clear liquids and magnesium citrate, I'm feeling better and prepared for a drive by colonoscopy, should one be available. Your teeth get lonely on clear fluids. I'm back to real food and hoping not to have to do THAT again.
Thanksgiving was a perfectly lovely day. The family, plus my friend Dory, were here for dinner. Everything was perfect. It was a peaceful visit, good food, good company. It was the best. I was concerned about CT scan results, but things are good there, too.
It's time to work on the Christmas novella, which shouldn't be as long this year because there was no big trip. I bought Christmas cards and 2011 calendars. I'm ready for new adventures.
Not much else to report. After a few days of autumn, we've moved to sweater weather. Good thing, because I have a lot of them.
xxooxx

8:15 PM and in my Jammies

2010-11-20T20:44:00.000-08:00

Still hurting. I saw my oncologist on Monday. She thinks it could be scar tissue issues, so has been having me watch what I ate--spent most of the week on clear fluids and starving--but my CA-125 is up, for me, so I have a CT scan scheduled for Tuesday. Fantasy Follies have been busy. I don't really think what I eat or don't eat is going to make much difference. I know jumping to conclusions isn't even good exercise, but I'm back on MS contin and still hurting. I didn't let a little pain stand in the way of my obligations, though. Mike, my worthy Patron, and I attended four installations this week. Bless his heart, Mike picked me up for each one--even the one where I wasn't on his way. It was a real treat. I thought about just sleeping in my light blue formal, since i wore it four nights in a row. In the end, I decided it is too scratchy to sleep in. I haven't worn make up every day in years. Now, I'm letting my face take a break. It was sort of fun to paint each evening.
Today was big time cooking day. I got to church at 9, made cranberry sauce, stuffing, prepared six birds and got them into the ovens before coming home to watch Cal lose. I had help. The best part about making the stuffing at church is that the bread, onions, and celery have already been chopped for me. I got back at 4:30 to get the birds out of the ovens, unstuff them, and make gravy. The church was full. We were expecting 150--don't know what the final count was. Thank you, Mother, for teaching me to make the best turkey in the world. I was hurting a lot, so I left after desert. The talent show is usually good, but the band wasn't playing and I really didn't feel up to being charming any longer. So here I am, in my jammies, contemplating going to bed early. We had a wonderful rain storm while I was at church--lightening, thunder, hail. I love weather--more so when I'm inside looking out and don't have to go anywhere.
That's it for now. My but it does feel good to be out of a formal.
xxooxx

WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-11-13T15:33:00.000-08:00

Installation is over! It has been a huge mountain in front of me since we got back. The trouble with procrastination is that it always gets you. Somehow, everything got done. I cut a lot of corners with things that didn't really matter. The installation itself was lovely. The Jr. Past Worthy Matron, Margaret Foley, is a truly amazing ritualist and did most of the installing. There aren't words enough to tell how well she did. We didn't have flowers and we didn't have carrying pieces for the officers to worry about when they got home, but we did have a lovely ceremony, and for that, I am very pleased.
I've been in pain, on and off for the last week--mostly on. I've been telling myself it was the stress of the installation. I just haven't had time for anything to go wrong. I still have the obligation of the church Thanksgiving dinner next Saturday--after that, I can fall apart. I see my oncologist the end of the month. If I don't start feeling better, once the pressure is off, I might move up the appointment. Or not. I have several installations to go to this week--but I don't have to do any work. Just show up, look cute, and eat refreshments. I can handle that.
I'm glad it's Autumn. Even on warm days, there's a bight to the air that says "It's Fall!" Our season changes are so subtle that we have to take advantage of what we get.
My Cal Bears have a huge game today. I have bad feelings, but I'll cheer for them, because that is what I do. Go Bears! It will be a moral victory if there are players standing at the end of the game.
xxooxx

Yosemite October 2010

2010-11-03T22:19:00.000-07:00

It was glorious. I was saddened by health problems of two of my favorite staff. They are firmly in my prayers. But it was glorious.
This is a view of the falls from the Ahwahnee Monday morning.

Even the Royal Arches had water trickling down.

The two obligatory pictures of Half Dome

Random shot

The falls on Wednesday

More random shots

Off Tioga Pass Road on Thursday

Really glorious. We didn't do much, but we were there and it was wonderful. Since Tioga Road was open, we went to Reno for our last two play days. We had a blast-especially the morning we left when I played $20 and came away with $80. It's always more fun when you win.

We made great time coming home on Saturday--got home before Glenn left for work, so he did the heavy lifting, God bless him. Saturday was not a good sports day--my Cal Bears lost badly and even my Giants lost. I guess somebody has to.

Sunday was church. The 49ers won(!) in London. I won too--I didn't have to buy Halloween candy because I spent the night with my friend Sue in her new apartment. We watched the Giants win. Monday, I was supposed to go to a meeting, but we all wanted to watch the game, so we postponed it to Tuesday--which gets me back to my previous post--GO GIANTS!

I am now more or less current.

xxooxx

Where to Start?

2010-11-03T19:56:00.000-07:00

It's been a month. I guess I should start with GO GIANTS! Who ever would have imagined? Hoped and prayed, yes, but imagined? Which is why I had an appointment to have my hair cut in downtown San Francisco today at eleven in the morning. I don't do crowds. I got on BART in san Bruno, so I had a seat, but it was wall to wall bodies by the time I got off--at Powell, rather than my usual Montgomery, since they weren't even stopping there. Getting to Maiden Lane and back home was challenging, but I got it done. The crowd was joyous and reasonably well behaved. I got confetti in my newly cut hair. I was perfectly happy to watch the festivities on television when I got home. You couldn't have paid me Meg Whitman's campaign budget to be part of the crowd at Civic Center. I'm very happy for the Giants and very proud of them, but as I said, I don't do crowds--even happy reasonably well behaved ones.
So, what have I been doing when I haven't been watching baseball? I'll backtrack a little and show you my room at Sonoma. I don't usually take pictures of hotel rooms, but this was lovely.
Here's the name of my suite:

The bar

Part of the living room

The fireplace and the telly

The bed

The comfy chair where I sat and knit

Moving right along, we get to October 20, when Dory and I left for Grand Chapter and suburban Visalia. It was an interesting Grand Chapter. You'll have to ask me for more information. I don't feel like putting it out on the web. Installation was another matter. Kim and Don said they wanted to bring it in at 2 1/2 hours, and they just about made it. They cut lots of time consuming stuff and both spoke well and briefly. I was very proud of them. Of course, we missed the end of the game where the Giants won the pennent, but the news quickly spread through our section, and I imagine the rest of the convention center. Dory and I stopped for desert on the way back to Outer Visalia and vowed to sleep till we woke up. No alarm for Sunday. We got out before check-out time, and that was all that mattered. We didn't have that far to go. North on 99 to Fresno, then northeast on 41. It started to sprinkle in Fresno. By the time we got to Yosemite, it was raining heavily. Not a problem. We just stayed in the hotel. We had a light supper in the bar that was just enough for me--soup and sandwich. Dory took half her sandwich t the room. We had sunshine in the morning and for the rest of our stay. The real prize for all that rain was water in the falls and rivers. I'm used to the falls being completely dry in October. This looked like spring.

All right, the program is being annouying. I'll post this one and start a new one for the Yosemite pictures.

xxooxx

Taking the Waters--again

2010-10-05T11:21:00.000-07:00

September was a rough month for me before the explosion and fire. My sister's anniversary is the 13th, mine is the 30th, Our mother died on the 21st and now the fire was on the 9th. Things didn't get done. It was hard to focus, It took almost two weeks for the coroner to certify that Lavonne, Greg and Will (and the three legged dog named Lucky) were, indeed, incinerated at the point of the blast. There was a lovely memorial service for the three of them, at First Pres Burlingame. There were nearly 1000 people there. Our little church couldn't have held that many people. Our church did the work for the service. All of our living former pastors took part, because they all knew the family. Pretty much anyone who had ever sung in the choir sang for the service. I didn't--I've had a scratchy throat since the fire--but it was a big, beautiful, well trained choir. The Praz group sang, the quartet sang, and Todd (Milam) played a cello piece with piano that he'd written. It was lovely. The service was long--longer still because we got there an hour early to park-and then got one of the last spots. It was during one of our few hot spells, compounded by the heat if all those bodies.
I was REALLY glad I had mu Sonoma stay coming up. Got there Tuesday, the 28, around 3:30. Plenty of time to check out my suite and get over to the spa for the Bathing Ritual before Watsu number one. When I got to the Spa Concierge station, there was a sign up, saying "Welcome Back, Anne." It made me smile for the rest of the week. It was 105 degrees F. when I got there. For the first time in dozens of Watsus, the Watsu pool actually felt cool. I had Soledad for my first Watsu. I was lucky to get her, at least once, she was taking the rest of the week off to celebrate her husband's birthday. I've talked abut Soledad before. She is warm and nurturing. I was her last appointment of the day--I think I had a two hour Watsu--and my body was at peace for the rest of the week.
Wednesday morning at 9 I had a massage--not sure how I let that slip through--I usually get my massages with a body treatment or a stone massage. But this time, I has just a massage, with Samantha. At 10:15, I had another Watsu with Loni. I don't know Loni as well, though she seems perfectly nice. Her Watsu was more of a stretching experience. I had the first of three spinach salads for lunch (hold the blue cheese), then had a Body Coffee Wrap (smells heavenly). concluding with a Signature Facial, Then it was time for dinner at the Big 3 and rest up for another full day.
On the 30th, my wedding anniversary, I started off the day with the Bathing Ritual, then at 11:30, a Wild Berry Vanilla Scrub and Massage---quite nice and quite fragrant, 12:45 was my Tandem Massage with Diane and David, two of my favorites. The only thing to say about a Tandem Massage is that it's probably illegal in 47 states, it feels that good.
When I was thoroughly relaxed, I met Elaine, who had been having a Watsu, for lunch. Spinach Salad #2. It was really nice to see her on my anniversary. After lunch, I had Reflexology with Reiki. I call that my own personal CAT scan. It's almost scary how intuitive my Reiki Master is. She met Elaine for two minutes and had her sized up--knew what was going on with the grandchildren, too. Diane said it was the clearest she's ever seen my body. But she knew in January that I was in remission before I heard it from my doctor. I finished the day off with a Spirulina Body Wrap. Not at all glamorous, but great for your skin.
And suddenly, it was Friday. Don't know how we got there so fast? I did a mini bathing ritual so that I would be ready for my 10:15 Watsu with Laura. Laura is as gentle as Soledad, but gives great stretches.
This is was followed by a Rejuvenating Kur which felt so good.
After the obligatory spinach salad and a shower to wash the Rejuvenating oils out of my hair, I had a Thai Massage with Bill--great stretches, a nap on the loggia, and Chakra Reading and Balancing. That was intense. Dinner, ball game, Go Giants!, packing and bed completed the day.
Up early Saturday morning so that I could have my bags collected before breakfast. Since it was get away day, I had my fingers and toes done, then a Hair and Scalp Revitalizer while fingers and toes dried. I left around 2--happy for the wonderful time I'd had, but sad to be leaving.
So now I'm home, and doing mundane things like paying the bills and visiting doctors. I haven't really looked out at the war zone since I've been home. That will take a very long time to heal--wish I could take all of them to the Spa for a little r&r.
xxooxx

Left Heel ad nauseaum

2010-09-13T23:25:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I took my heel to see my dermatologist. She looked at it very carefully, said it ISN'T a fungus infection--so now I've got tons of creams with no where to use them. There is definately something going on with the skin. That's what I've been saying--each conversation with a medical person has ended "and it looks funny..." The Physical therapist is the only one who's picked up on that. So I got another shot in my heel today then went off to enjoy PT. I'm a pretty good character spotter--I think my Physical Therapist is a kindred spirit and I really like her. I may have been sent there to help her in some way.
After PT I rushed up to church for a meeting of the Ruthies. The Ruth Circle (I think it was called a circle for the first few minutes of its life--then it became the Ruthies) used to be the young women of the church. I'm about 10 years older than the oldest, but they let me in. We are now the incipient Wise Women. Tonight was our regular meeting night, but tonight we met to pray for the Bullis family, those who left us so suddenly and the ones who remain. I've known Sue since she was about 13 and we played violin and flute duets. I watched her grow up into an amazingly caring woman. She was my Deacon when Lee was sick and she took that job seriously. She mother henned us, made sure we had food when it was needed and companionship when it wasn't. When I got the infection in my incision and had to have it cut open again to heel from the inside, Sue came up the house when the Visiting Nurses couldn't come and changed my dressings, packing the wound carefully, and acting as though I was doing her a favor. Susie is part of the unique sounds in Anne and the Bethany Brawlers--we call her the Brawlette, in defference to her gender.
Thank you, God, for giving Sue an amazingly strong circle of women to help her through this dreadful time. And the helping, for us, is a blessing, a Mitzvah.
Still sad.
xxooxx

Fire in San Bruno

2010-09-10T23:38:00.000-07:00

I've skipped great chunks of time, basically because things have been boring. My left heel is still giving me problems. I got sent to a podiatrist, who thinks it is tendonitis and sent me to physical therapy. The physical therapist noticed what I noticed--there's still something wrong with the skin. She's working on me, but I'm also set to see a dermatologist on Monday. And so that goes.
Then there's the BIG NEWS. First and foremost, Glenn and I and our home are fine. Things could have gotten dicey if the wind had been blowing in a different direction and if we hadn't had such a cold, damp summer, but we are fine. About 6:15 last night, Glenn was doing the dishes and I was about to step into the shower to get ready to go to Eastern Star. Initiation, big night. I heard a strange rumbling, then what sounded like a jet dragging its wheels over our roof, then a bang that shook everything with a sharp jolt, followed by a strange, steady sound. I thought Glenn had loaded the dishwasher strangely--he thought it was me in the shower. Then I heard him give a shout. He said the power station across the street was on fire. I quickly finished what I'd been doing rather liesurely in the bathroom. We opened the front door, and this is what we saw:

Actually, what we saw was worse, because I didn't think to take pictures for about an hour. So imagine the fire ball twice that high. We quickly realized that it wasn't the power station at all (good thing--not that it hasn't had its share of fires in the 32 years we've lived here). So what was it? The speculation was on. Our across the street neighbor came out and said she heard that the gas station at the top of San Bruno Avenue had exploded. We all thought about that and decided that wasn't where the fireball was coming from. Next theory--a plane went down. That would explaine the noise we all heard--but a plane would burn itself out, and this was not going out. Besides, the FAA had not gotten any reports of missing planes. Last and right guess--a ruptured gas main. Here are more pictures--as close as I ever want to be to something like that:

We could see houses burning pretty much from the start. I'll refer you to the news and the internet for the grim details. Our street became a parking lot with people coming and looking. I had to shoo several people away from our driveway. We were never evacuated, but if we had been, it would have been a madhouse. There are only two ways in and out of our tract. It took them a few hours to get the gas shut off and the main fireball fineally went out. By then, most of the houses in the neighborhood were fully engaged. Late into the night, it looked like "The watchfires of a hundred circling camps" of the Battle Hymn of the Republic fame, as houses were allowed to burn out. It was just too hot to send the firemen in safely. The first truck on the scene was from a fire station down the street a bit from the explosion. It was so hot, that the windshield on the fire truck cracked.
When I went to bed--very, very late--I could still see smoke coming up from hot spots, but I felt we were safe. This morning, it just looked like a war sceen. I had to go out a couple of times, and I had to take really alternate routes to get where I was going. I've lived here a long time and know my way around pretty well. As of this writing, there are three members of our church, from a family of five, who have not been located and are presumed dead--three generations. I won't be at church on Sunday--I'll be in the East Bay attending my 45th high school reunion. Glenn said he will go. He doesn't want to, but he will be there. Glenn is such a fine man. When we realized that it wasn't the power plant, but a neighborhood across Skyline Drive, Glenn said that was where our friends lived and was worried about them from the start. We're all praying for a miracle--isn't denial the first phase?
I have a happy weekend coming up--two weddings wrapped around the reunion. The first wedding and the reunion are in the East Bay, so I'm spending tomorrow night at the Claremont Hotel. I was there for my high school grad night, been to a wedding reception there, and done brunch a few times, but I've never stayed there. I was actually going to spend two nights there, but I have to be at the rehearsal for wedding number two in the early afternoon tomorrow, since I'm fiddling for the wedding. I wasn't planning on taking the violin with me, but I'm not really sure I'll have time to come home and get it, so i guess it's going for a trip too. I expect I shall be one tired old lady on Monday.
The phone rang pretty constantly with people from far and near checking up on us. I finally posted on Facebook that we were not burned to a crisp, and still people have been checking on us. That is comforting. So if I haven't told you lately, and lest I miss the opportunity, I love you, dear readers. Be well.
xxooxx

Left heel, disease two

2010-08-18T20:51:00.000-07:00

So my gouty left heel isn't gouty after all--at least this time. Saw the Physician's Assistant today and she diagnosed a fungus infection, for which I now have a cream--twice a day for 2 weeks. It already feels better. It doesn't look much better, but it feels better--doesn't hurt to touch any more. How did I get that? Who knows--just lucky like everything else. I saw my doctor in passing and rejoiced with her that she's now wearing real shoes on both feet. What a long, hard battle that was for her. Answered prayer. Sometimes it just takes a little longer. Just in case I failed to mention it in January, she's been fighting a foot infection since December. There was a possibility that she could have lost the foot, so real shoes on both feet is a wonderful thing.
I shall now retire with Mailie Dobbs, book four.
xxooxx

I know, I know

2010-08-16T12:06:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time, but life has been, basically, boring with nothing to report. Not that I've done nothing or lived in a vacuum. I had a birthday (enjoyable day--lots of Facebook greetings, phone calls, dinner with my son), had a visit from my sister where we went to see "The Birth of Impressionism" exhibit at the deYoung, and went to a workshop, so I had a weekend out of town. Around and about all of this is the knitting--matching sweaters for my hairdresser's children, an afghan for Glenda Hope's Network Ministries. Then there were the occassional committee meetings, some workouts at Curves. I'm trying not to be a hermit. Oh, then there are the books! I'm working my way through Alexander McCall Smith this year. I LOVED the Number One Ladies Detective Agency series. The Sunday Afternoon Philosophy Club was well written but not as page turning. Portugese Irribular Verbs and its companion stories were a hoot and inhaled quickly. I'm taking a break before 44 Scotland Street because I have recently been introduced to Maisie Dobbs (NOT AMC). There are seven books in that series, and I am on number three. Well writen, engrossing, page turning. I have quickly become very fond of Maisie.

Health--I'm feeling adequate. Not great but not bad. I saw Dr. Chee (oncologist) today. Not bad, not good. My CA125, a not very accurate number for me as I believe I've blogged, is slightly elevated--enough for a scan soon (like I'm waiting to hear what they have set up for me even as I type).

The left heel has something going on--have an appointment for that on Thursday. This is one of those weeks where my social life is composed of appointments.

I'll try to be more timely--and more interesting. I'll post after we get the scan results and know better what's going on now. Till then

xxooxx

Happy

2010-07-12T12:17:00.000-07:00

Yikes! It has been forever since I've blogged. I've thought about it--I have pictures i want to post but am too lazy to download. Maybe lazy isn't the word, because I've been knitting like a fiend. My way of cleaning is to use up some of my yarn, and what better way to do that than to knit? I've had specific projects, but mostly it has been resupplying the stash. Somehow I have no girly things, so I've been working on that.
What I've been thinking about and wanting to write about for a while is that I'm happy. No particular reason, just happy and content. I don't know quite when it turned around--sometime before I went to Yosemite. It was a long, dark tunnel for several months--maybe even years. for the last few months, though, I've been just plain happy. It isn't that there aren't things I would happily change, but on the whole I'm happy. God's in His heaven and all's right with my world. Well, not everything--the neighbors' 12 dogs are constantly barking and people still park in front of my driveway on Sumday mornings, but I don't give way to tears at the drop of a hat.
I'll just accept that the stars are aligned and things are going well. Whatever the cause, I'm in "Thank you, God" mode. I know that the other cancer shoe will drop eventually and that when it does, we will deal with it. Until that time, I'll just enjoy and knit--I've even picked up a few things (don't get hasty there--just a few things and I eventually get lost on a tangent while I'm doing it). Back to knitting. I love watching little projects grow. And I'm happy.
xxooxx

Monica's Graduation and Other Stuff

2010-06-17T16:40:00.000-07:00

How is it possible that I am the grandmother of a high school graduate? And how is it possible that I waited almost a week to write about it? I'm not quite sure how I did it, but I downloaded the pictures, so I guess it is time to do something about it.

Here we are, waiting for the festivities to begin. The graduation was on the football field. I'm hoping that no one was hoping that their little darling would have a dignified experience, because most of the spectators thought that they were at a football game. There was constant milling about, talking, cell phoning, squeeling, and the blasting of air horns. I thought I was going to lose my hearing for life. The vast ruck of humanity that attended did not know how to be an audience.

So here are the graduates in place.

After way to many speakers, it was finally time to do what we were all there to see. I think this is Monica in line, waiting for her name to be called.

And I think this is Monica, receiving the folder that would eventually hold her diploma. Glenn and I were ready to go home then. What did we care about the rest of the alphabet? The benches were uncomfortable--and there was all that squeeling and the airhorns. But we are polite and well behaved and we waited till everything was over.

Finally, we got near the graduate!

Elaine said it was the only time in her entire school career that she wore her hair down. She does look quite grown up--even if 18 isn't even close. There were two graduates in the family--Ryan will be in Middle School in the fall.

Monica was off to the grad night party--Glenn and I were off to home--by way of dinner at Nations Giant Hamburgers in El Cerrito. We'd planned to stop for a bite to eat BEFORE the graduation, but traffic being what it was, there was no time. So we were hungry, along with tired and deaf. Still, I wouldn't have missed it. Hope I'm around to see Rebecca's and Ryan's too.

Now, for the rest of the week's news. I saw my oncologist on Monday. CA125 is up slightly. It isn't even close to the amount that usually causes concern, but my baseline is so low that Dr. Chee just watches fluctuations. Normal cause for concern is anything over 35--at surgery, before they took out the cancer, mine was 19. I think it was 5 in March and is around 6 now. To scan or not to scan--we'll wait two more months, repeat the blood work, and see where things are.

My heels were still hurting, so Dr. Chee made me go to see my primary care--who I actually saw yesterday for the first time since January. She's had a very hard six months fighting an infection in her foot. She's still fighting it but may be able to save her foot. I felt like a whiner complaining about my heels. She changed my gout meds and gave me a shot in the left heel--the worse offender. It was pretty painful yesterday, but today my heels are pain free. Yeah! The new meds make me tired, a little dizzy and drowsy. I'll get used to them. I don't hurt! Life is good.

That's it--you are now current.

xxooxx

Yosemite May 2010 plus a bit of catching up

2010-05-22T18:28:00.000-07:00

First, the catching up. I have a fancy computer, two digital cameras, and two card readers. Could I get any of them to work for the old reliable digital? No, of course not. Not a problem, however. I buzzed down to CVS and had a disc made of the pictures I couldn't download. We'll start with me on the beach in Santa Barbara at Thanksgiving time.

It was a little windy.

Moving along several months, we arrive at Kris's visit the beginning of the month. Day two was sightseeing and the Disney Family Museum on the Presidio.

Kris and a famous icon

The Marin headlands

Roz and Kris

Kris and me

We had a grand time that day--it took us two days each to recover.

Onward a few days. I took the camera with me on my walk one day.

This is the view from the bench where I stop and read on the way out and on the way back.

Now, we get to Yosemite. First the view from our room on Monday when it rained all day.

Not at all a bad view. And not a bad place to be stuck on a rainy day. We stuck our noses outside for a minute or so after breakfast, got wet, and spent the day in the hotel. We took out laptops down to the sun room in the morning, took afternoon naps, and had a late dinner at the hotel.

Tuesday morning, late, we took a turn on the back lawn and walked down to the river. I did not throw my cell phone in this time.

And here we are

It isn't much, but was our home away from home:

Here's a shot of the falls from pretty much the same spot on the back lawn.

Dory and I went to the Village for some major shopping. I sent her back to the hotel (with our purchases) to rest while I went to pay my respects to Yosemite Falls. I don't need another picture of Half Dome, but what the heck...

I love the walk from the shuttle stop to the falls. You start out walking through the woods. You hear the falls, but you don't see them. The Dogwood was wonderful.

And no, nature lovers, I didn't pick it.

You cross a bridge, then you get to the falls

I walked from the falls back to the village, then woosed out and took the shuttle back to the hotel. I shouldn't have left Dory alone. She managed to fall in the room, between the beds. I know she was hurting for the rest of the trip, but she was game for just about anything. I felt really guilty, because I felt so good.

On Wednesday, I took the shuttle to the Mirror Lake stop. I walked the mile or so up to the lake, then a mile or so around it, then back to the hotel. Steve, my favorite bellman, said it was between five and six miles. Go me!

Must be the angle, because Half Dome isn't stretched out like that.

It was a glorious four days and over all too soon. The first part of the ride home was pretty--Yosemite to Mariposa. The wild flowers were glorious. After Mariposa, it is pretty much of a grind. We had a good time together, so it was less tedious than it could have been.

Yesterday was yet another doctor appointment about my heels. I haven't blogged about them because they really aren't interesting. Painful, but boring. We had pretty much determined that it was gout before I left. I had a blood test on the 11th to confirm the diagnosis. I just didn't get the results till yesterday. My uric acid count is quite high, so gout it is. The Physician's Assistant gave me another perscription--which ended up being three pills--take two then take the other one an hour later. I'm thinking it feels better. Obviously, I didn't let it stop me.

I think we're now up to date. I'm feeling better than I have in quite some time. God's in His heaven (that would be Yosemite) and all is right with the world indeed.

xxooxx

Another oops

2010-05-15T18:22:00.000-07:00

I'm going to stop confessing when I leave huge gaps in the blogoshpere. Each time I do, I leave a bigger gap. And my life has not actually been that boring. I was even going to post pictures, but neither my camera or computer are cooperating
First--the house is rented to a wonderful family. They aren't moving in till the end of June, but everything about them is perfect, so I'm happy.
The first week in May, my friend Kris came up from North Hollywood. She and Roz and I had two wonderful days of remembering. We hung out in Berkeley the first day--looking at our old houses and haunts. Mine was the only house where we got to go inside. The next day we did a little sight seeing, but the big stop was the new Disney Family Museum at the SF Persidio--I guess technically now the Golden Gate National Recreation Area. The two of them had their doubts about that, but we all enjoyed ourselves. I got some lovely pictures of the Golden Gate Bridge that you aren't seeing here, as well as some great pictures of my friends.
I've had some nagging pain in my left heel--it may be gout. I've been tested for it, but I don't see my doctor till next Friday. I'm assuming that's what it is until then. I've had it before and for some fool reason decided I didn't need the anti-gout meds after eight years of taking them. Guess again. Not letting it stand in the way of my walks.
I'm leaving tomorrow, just after church, for Yosemite. This is the trip I was supposed to take last October after Grand Chapter but postponed due to the last reunion with Kris and Roz (and our other friend Andrea, who couldn't make it out from Missouri this time) and my radiation. I had some thoughts about postponing again, but cooler heads said "GO!" So I'm going with my friend Dory. She was supposed to go with me in October, so it only seems right. It should be beautiful. We may get several seasons in the four days we're there. It is supposed to rain in the Bay Area on Monday--maybe we'll get snow in Yosemite! We're packing for all sorts of weather.
That's it--not as much as I'd hoped, but better than nothing. I'll try to get the pictures on with my laptop while I'm away--or not.
xxooxx

I'm slipping

2010-04-26T23:36:00.000-07:00

Life is still pretty uninteresting, but since I'm still up, I thought I would check in. The all consuming activity has been getting the house ready to rent. Not that I'm actually doing the work. Elaine and Mark have been working like trojans. They have become my property managers. Elaine thinks, rightly so, that I'm somewhat of a babe in the woods when it comes to being a landlady. As I explained to her tonight, the last time I personally rented a place to live it was 1972. Elaine pretty much knows everything there is to know about renting. I've really come to rely on her about this and I appreciate everything she's done.
I listed the house with UC faculty housing on Friday and put it on Craig's List yesterday afternoon. Haven't heard anything from the university, but I've gotten 8 hits from Craig's List--seven of them last night. I dutifully answered everything--then found ut after 10 tonight that my Outlook was misbehaving and none of the e-mails I've posted for the last10 or so days has gone out. I did some screwing around with the computer and BINGO, everything went. Those people who responded to the ad yesterday must think I'm so rude! Now everyone that I e-mailed before today will just think I'm a little nuts. Some of the e-mails will make no sense.
I remember when I first started using fax machines at work. I'd get annoyed that they were sending slowly, then I'd think, "Wait a minute--this is a maricle, who cares how fast it is?" I feel like that about e-mail. It is a miracle that it works at all.
So, what have I been doing? Same stuff--Curves three times a week and walking. The last two times I did the trail I got to the end. Guess I'm going to have to do something about my time now. I pulled weeds this afternoon and thought myself very productive.
I just did a little more hunting on my computer and found another six responses to the Craig's List ad--responded to all of them and have several phone calls to make tomorrow. It seems I have an embarassment of riches. I was so worried about it. Yikes--now people are responding to my late e-mails! Will look at them and then it really is past my bedtime.
xxooxx

Guess it has been a long time

2010-04-17T21:07:00.000-07:00

I knew I hadn't posted for a while, just didn't realize it had been so long. No post generally means nothing has been going on that is the least bit interesting. I didn't get off pain meds--may never get off them, but that's all right. I was on one a day for a few weeks--sort of chicken to try stopping altogether. Then I've had a bunch of new pains crop up--my oncologist doesnt' think they are cancer related, so it is back to the primary care to try to find out what is going on. And I'm back to two a day. The world won't come to an end.
Still exercising, Curves and walking. Today was a milestone because I got to the end of the San Andreas Trail. I've been walking farther each time I go out. Today I made it end to end. From the parking lot, that's a little over four miles. I take my time and I rest along the way. I'm not going for land speed records here--just exercise. So far, I've retired three pair of pants as too big and the skirt I wore tonight almost fell off, so I'll either retire it or invest in safety pins. A modified band played for our Open Mic Night at church. We were missing our bass player (sick), guitar (stuck in Africa because of the ash cloud over Europe), and mandolin (couldn't make the practice). We still sounded good. I may not go for a four mile walk the next time we play.
The latest wrinkle in my life is that my tennents moved out of the Berkeley house on rather short notice. Elaine and Mark are going to take care of general maintenance, then I will need to learn the new skill of putting the house on Craig's List and finding new people to love it. It has been a really long time since it was last empty. I guess I'll get through this, too.
I've been seeing more of Elaine and the grandchildren. Someone has had a birthday each month since the first of the year, then there was Easter, and I went over during spring break and walked with Elaine and Ryan in Martinez. It was nice to have company and a change of scenery.
I've been seeing old friends--always a treat. And it is finally baseball season again. My Giants are doing quite well, so I'm a happy girl.
That's about the sum total of my excitement. Hope your lives have been more interesting.
xxooxx

A dreadful few days

2010-03-27T13:07:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't posted in forever, but life has been basically boring, and no one wants to read boring. At my last oncologist visit, we talked about getting off pain meds, since I'm in remission and in no particular pain. My doctor gave me a schedule to follow, going from three a day, to two, to one, then one every other day, to nothing. I could do that. I'd been down to one a day for a few days. Thursday, when I got up, I said to myself, "I don't need that," and went to nothing. Bad idea. I felt like crap, I couldn't concentrate, I was weepy for no reason, I was too cold then I was too hot. The only good thing was that weight was literally falling off. I now have fewer than 25 pounds to go to get to where I was pre-cancer. I toughed it out on Thursday--even went to Curves, praying I got through the circuit without getting weepy. Friday was really no better--I wasn't as restless, but I felt bad enough to cancel a planned trip to Filoli.
Cooler heads prevailed and I put in a call to my doctor. My curve had been too steep. Back on to one a day for a few days, then cut the dosage in half for another week, then try every other day at half the dosage and see how that works. I sort of felt defeated, but it is amazing how much better I felt. So I'm being patient and slowing down the process. I'll get there, it will just take a little longer.
Meanwhile, before this gross lack on concentration, I read through all the Number 1 Ladies Detective Agency series--10 books to date. I loved every one of them. Mma Ramotswe became my new best friend. I was sad when I finished the last book. I've started Alenander McCall Smith's next series, but it isn't the same thing.
Well, it isn't a Curves day, so I'd best get out and go for a walk. I still don't much care for exercise, but I do enjoy the results. It is a lovely day and I'm not feeling dreadful. Who could ask for anything more?
xxooxx

Flaming Fingers

2010-03-13T16:42:00.000-08:00

The Ceili is done for another year. I'm tired but happily so. I think I played as fast as I've ever played before--some of the tunes I can no longer play at a moderate tempo. I didn't catch all of the notes, but I got most of them. The members of the band are all so good that we grow off of one another and we make an amazing sound. My fingers were flying and my soul was dancing. It was a thoroughly Thank You, God, afternoon. We played with joy and I am a happy girl.
Most of the rest of my life is happy too. I had another scan on Monday and saw my oncologist on Thursday. I see her next in three months and probably won't repeat the scan until September. I'm good there too. I'm not well, because I will always have cancer and we will always be watching it, but I'm as well as I've been in over two years. I still don't have a trememdous amount of energy--but enough to play the fiddle fast as the wind today. I've been good about going to Curves. The part of my life that is not so happy is something I don't want to talk about. I'm contemplating a move to denial. It is a nice place to live. The good parts are squeezing out the not so good parts. I'm ready to get on with life. Thank you, Bethany Brawlers for making it such a steller day. Now I'm ready to hibernate for a while.
xxooxx

Band Practice

2010-03-02T21:27:00.000-08:00

When you are a Celtic Fiddler (which I seem to have become), the highlight of your year is St. Patrick's Day. Our band makes this a movable feast and celebrates on the Saturday closest to March 17. We started practicing for this year's show in January and are now ramping up. Tonight was band practice. Athletes have their highs--for me it is music. By the end of practice, my fingertips on my left hand are black and I'm physically tired, but my soul is flying. We've got about 11 days left till the Ceili (see last March for pronumciation nad definition), so we were working this practice. The ceili started out as a simple affair--a few friends got together and read through music--some singing--cookies and ice cream. The next year, it was a major fund raiser for our church. Year three, the official ceili was canceled when I had surgery Feb 26. Fred came to my house on St Pat's day and we went through all our music. I think I was in my jammies. Last year, it was a celebration at church. It took a lot out of me, but I felt victorious getting through it. This year many hands are making light work and I just have to worry about fiddling. The band is so good. I go to church with amazing musicans. Getting together with them, even for practice, is a joyous occassion. The program is coming together. I'm smiling. I have to cut my fingernails, but I'm smiling. What a blessing it is to work with these wonderful people. Thank you, God, for putting them in my life.
xxooxx

Lake Louise Feb 2010

2010-02-24T18:02:00.000-08:00

My desktop computer is acting up and I can't get the Geek Squad out till next month, so I'll try to do this with the laptop. It will take much patience on my part--something with which I'm not overly gifted. Here goes:
The ice sculptures were interesting. All had an olympic theme. I can't seem to download them to this blog, so I'll try to put a bunch on Facebook. Now let's see what I CAN download. Before you start out, you have to take pictures. This is me getting ready to walk.

Here are the sisters

Gretchen ready to head off for her day of excitement

I had my own path to follow

I didn't take the Lake Agnes hike, but here's a picture of the teahouse Monica and I tried to visit in July

Now, back to my walk on the lake

This was my goal

Once you get there, you have to go back. the road back

I couldn't pass up the opportunity for a little graffiti

While I was doing this, Gretchen was off an a cross country ski towards Moraine Lake. She pushed herself, as she does, but had a grand time. We had a lovely dinner at the Fairview Dining Room Saturday night.

Sunday was our dog sled adventure. Gretchen went for a walk on the lake in the morning while I rested. I knew I would need to husband my energy for the afternoon. Here I am getting dressed and ready to go:

It would have taken most people ten or fifteen minutes to walk down to the Continental Divide where the dog sledding started. It took me half an hour. But we got there. Here is Gretchen, meeting the dogs

Here's our Musher--same one I had in 08

And we're off! Well, maybe not that easily--we had to get me into the sled first

Getting me OUT of the sled was even more entertaining than getting me in, but we did it, with lots of help. I was game for letting them call a cab to take us back up the mountain to the hotel, but Gretchen said she thought we could walk it, so walk it we did. I failed to tell her about the blisters that were causing my left heel to burn. We made it. It took about 40 minutes, but we made it. When we got past the steepest part, I warned Gretchen, then butst into tears--partly from pain, partly from making it. God bless Gretchen--she didn't push me, just knew I could do it and kept encouraging me. I was oh so happy to see the hotel--happier yet to see the inside of our room.

No visit to Lake Louise is complete without a visit with my friend Taffline--and now her son Logan. Logan is 13 months old and adorable.

It wasn't a long enough visit, but Logan was VER busy and had places to go, people to see

Bye, Logan.

Monday was pack up and go time. By then, both of us had colds. Mine crept in on Wednesday and kept me company the whole trip. It didn't catch Gretchen until Sunday. Thank goodness for Tylonol Cold. Our driver picked us up at 2ish. Like trips to Yosemite, leaving Lake Louise is the hardest part. I hold on to the thought that I can always go back. The drive back to the airport was fun and uneventful. things got way too eventful once we got to the airport. Our flight ws delayed. A lot. We were supposed to leave at 6:22--we left after 9. Not that bad for me, but it meant that Gretchen would miss her connection to Santa Barbara. Could she spend the night with me? Of course she could. Now we had the problem of luggage. I had too much. Normally on a trip, I have stuff mailed home. I didn't think about it this trip, more's the pity. There at the check in counter I had my suitcases open and rearrangedstuff--even let Gretchen take a few things. Eventually, everything worked out, but it took it's toll on me. My face was bright red, I was in tears. The counter attendant said "Are you all right? Do you want to sit down?" I said, "I'm fine." Gretchen said "You're NOT fine." I said "I'm fine. All right, I'm not fine, but I just want to get this done." Everything worked out in the end and we had the suitcases ready to take through customs and my wheelchair was there. I was still sniveling, but I calmed down. It took a while to get through customs, but not as long as the counter attendant had warned us. We certainly had plenty of time. We got to our gate and settled down for a long wait. The wait was broken up by a less than satisfactory dinner at Harvey's--probably the bottom of the Fast Food Chain, but we were hungry.

Eventually, the plane got in from Chicago, got loaded, was de-iced (Oh yeah, please do that) and we were in the air. I did lots of praying. We got home safely. My wheelchair was there waiting for me. This NEVER happens, but our luggage was within the first 10 peices that came off the plane. Glenn picked us up, bless him and got us home--well, to my home. Elaine had been at the house earlier and changed Glenn's sheets for Gretchen. Glenn is such a prince. He just goes with the flow. We got some sleep--up at 6:30 so that I could get Gretchen to the airport for the last leg of her trip. That was the most satisfactory part of her flying experience. The plane was ready to leave about 10 minutes early and landed early. Jim was at the airport to greet her--and she went to work in the afternoon--after she unpacked. I've got one suitcase unpacked.

The big excitement today was a trip downtown to get my hair cut. Woo hoo!

Please excuse spelling and typing errors. I'm now too tired to proof read. I still have to figure out how to get all the pictures on Facebook.

xxooxx

In no particular order

2010-02-20T16:01:00.000-08:00

My camera is being annoying, but we'll try to add pictures. We will attempt to start with the suite in Calgary:

Next, I hope, will be Gretchen and me at Bow Falls

Here's our welcome amenity at Lake Louise:

This is the view from our room Thursday when we got there. And here's our room at Lake Louise:

I'll give you one ice sculpture to whet your appitite for more. I think the rest and the pictures from today's 4k hike on the lake will just have to wait till I get home. Downlading on the laptop is annoying:

Having a really wonderful time.

xxooxx

Made it to the Lake!

2010-02-18T15:54:00.000-08:00

Gretchen got to the hotel around 11 last night, safe and sound, so it is all good. We were picked up at 10 this morning. It was a PERFECT drive up here. The sky was clear blue. The roads were dry. Our driver was outstanding--good driver and full of personality. We took a little stop at the Banff Springs Hotel, so Gretchen got to see that, the village of Banff, and Bow Falls. Pictures are coming--I just don't have the energy right now. We have a lovely room with a perfect view of the lake. I showed Gretchen part of the hotel. I'm resting now; Gretchen went out for a walk. I can do that tomorrow. Just a quick note to let you know that we had arrived and that things couldn't be better--well, they could. I feel like I'm trying to catch a cold, but this is such a wonderful place just to be that it doesn't matter.
xxooxx

Still in Calgary

2010-02-17T11:40:00.000-08:00

I'm having a relaxing time; my sister is having an adventure. First off, I got an e-mail from my niece that Gretchen forgot her cell phone. Semi annoying, but can be dealt with. I went to the Bay to see if I could find some shoes.
While I was waiting for a clerk, and waiting, and waiting, I checked my cell phone. Missed call from Gretchen. What? Checked the voice mail--the plane was late leaving Santa Barbara. San Francisco was fogged in, so they took her to San Jose--then back to Santa Barbara. She has a flight out to Denver this afternoon, then a flight from Denver to Calgary, getting in here at 9:20. So I have another night in Calgary--she'll take a cab here from the airport. We'll have a lovely breakfast in the morning then the car will pick us up at 10 and we should have a lovely drive up to Lake Louise. Everything works out.
In case any of my followers are the least bit worried about the rail road business in Canada, not to worry. My room is RIGHTNEXT to the train station and I think the trains run through the room.
Tomorrow will be a lovely day. It was snowing lightly when I went to the Bay. It has stopped now. I'm just going to settle back and watch the Ladies Downhill.
xxooxx

In Calgary

2010-02-16T16:57:00.000-08:00

Here I am, back on vacation again, and back where I was in July, at the Palliser. I have a lovely suite to stretch out in for the next day. To catch up on the last week, I was a very good girl and went to Curves Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. They were closed yesterday due to the holiday. That was a good thing, because I felt wretched yesterday. Fortunately, I lived. I got up early to do the last minute packing--and got most of it. The only things I left at home are my little blue shoes that I wear most of the time. Think I'll take a little walk to the Bay Company tomorrow morning (two blocks) and see if I can find a suitable replacement. It may be a good thing, because my little blue shoes are getting old and probably secretly wanted to be replaced. What's a trip without a surprise shopping trip?
I'm planning on dinner here at the hotel then a relaxing evening of Olympic watching. Gretchen gets in tomorrow then we are off to Lake Louise.
Life is good. I think I'll go look for dinner.
xxooxx

The Picture of Dorian Child

2010-02-07T21:41:00.000-08:00

I have lived in the same house for 31 1/2 years. It is on the side of a very steep hill. Behind our house, so up the hill, to the back and left have lived the same children for the entire time I've lived in this house. They are somewhere between seven and twelve. And they have been somewhere between seven and twelve for 31 1/2 years. They NEVER go inside, and they NEVER stop screeching at the top of their lungs. I have never seen these mysterious children, but I hear them. Every so often, I'm overcome with an urge, like right now, to go out on the back porch, and shout at the top of MY lungs, "Don't you children EVER go inside?" I don't know if I'm old enough to do that yet. One of the joys of growing old is that you can be as eccentric as you've always wanted to be, and people just think you are a crazy old person. It's dark. It's late. It's cold. It's a school night. And still these ageless children are out caterwauling. It is past MY bedtime. I love children, but I like them well behaved and in small doses. I got a baby fix at church this morning, when I got to hold Emilie May, age 9 days. I'll bet Emilie May is not in her backyard, screeching.

If I leave the computer, in the back of the house, and hop into bed to read, I will only have to contend with street noises and the occasional airplane. Beats screeching children.

xxooxx

Just in Case You Are Keeping Score

2010-02-05T16:35:00.000-08:00

I rounded out the week with another Curves morning--twice around the circuit--good for me. I set my alarm or 6:30 so that I could wish Glenn a good trip--he was off to San Diego after he finished work today. I'm praying that he gets there and home safely and has a good time while he's gone. It is perfectly fine for me to run around the country--I'll be lonely while he's gone. I think I can cope. There is lots to keep me occupied--stuff I should do, stuff I want to do, and stuff that I really need to do. And if I run out of stuff, there are always books to read. I spent a few minutes on the next cleaning project--but that's so far down on the things I don't want to do that a few minutes was all I could spare it. I'm waiting for the skies to open up again. It was actually sunny for a bit this morning--well, the part of the morning that I saw. Gretchen is driving north for a visit with Victoria, so the longer the rain waits, the better for her. She's probably to Victoria's by now, so i guess the rain can come any time. Last night, when I was driving home from band practice, it looked like it was raining from the ground up. Great weather to watch from inside.
I won't bore you with the exercise statistics. I'm a little proud of myself for getting out and doing it this week. The goal, of course, is to make it a normal part of my week, so not even worthy of comment.
xxooxx

Did it again

2010-02-03T12:29:00.000-08:00

Just in case anyone is keeping score, I took myself to Curves again this morning, doing the circuit twice this time. I figured I could stop any time I wanted to in the second round and it was all gravey, but I made it through. Once again, it was a Past Bethel Guardians meeting, since I saw both Jean Tulee and Lois Ames there, I was quite tired and very drippy when I finished. I might even take myself to the mall this afternoon--depending on the weather. Right now, it is gray but dry. I got enough books yesterday that i probably don't need to leave the house for months, or days, depending on how fast I read. I actually that tasks to do at the mall, so maybe I will...or maybe I won't. This is what keeps life exciting.
xxooxx

Thank you, God, moment

2010-02-02T22:04:00.000-08:00

When you come down to it, they are all Thank you, God, moments, but some are more memorable than others. It was a downtown day today--seeing my therapist. Just when I think I've got it all together and I don't need him anymore, life throws me another curve and it is my most important appointment. Mark, my therapist, moments are always thank you moments, but that's not the one that stands out today--we'll talk about him a little later. The amazing moment today was after my appointment. I had a check to deposit at Wells Fargo, so I crossed Market and Montgomery to the ATM at the big bank on the corner of Post and Montgomery. No problem, deposit made. I turned around to leave, and there, at the bottom of the stairs were two gentlemen I worked with at Advent--Eric and Richard. They were with a third Adventer that I didn't know, but Eric and Richard got hugs, so gentleman number three got one too. While we were chatting, out of the bank came JJ, another Adventer. More hugs. What a treat it was to see them. I really miss the people at Advent. They were off to lunch--I was off for a walk to Powell. I love happy surprises like that.
Now for my Mark appointment. I REALLY needed to see him this week. I've been having all sorts of strange emotions these last couple of weeks. Mark assured me that they were all pretty normal feelings and that I'm entitled to feel them. Whew. I got great news, I'm in remission, how could I be depressed? Pretty easily, it seems. I'm still a little in shock. It's OK to sift through my feelings. It took some time to get used to the diagnosis, it will take some time to adjust to the remission. So if I can get myself up and out to Curves again in the morning, that will be another little step.
Glenn and I had old and dear friends to dinner this evening--so that was another good part of the day. Little steps. good steps. So I guess it was a Thank You, God, day all around. Now to curl up with a good book. Life is pretty grand.
xxooxx

Did it!

2010-02-01T19:08:00.000-08:00

After a week or so of reading and sleeping and little else, today I actually got myself dressed and out of the house and down to Curves for the first time in months. I only did the circuit once and stretched, but at least I got up and out and did it. I was dripping when I finished, but I did it. I didn't want to do it, if fact I tried to use my walk from the parking lot into the storefront as my exercise. But I did it. I've also set my mind on the next picking up project. I'm not going to tell so I don't jinx myself, but it is implanted in my little pea brain and now just waiting to get done. It all isn't much, but it is more than I did last week--not that I didn't enjoy snuggling under the covers and reading when it was so gray outside, but it was a pretty wasted week. I'm taking tiny little steps, but I'm moving. I read two great books last week and I just finished a knit hat, so it hasn't been completely wasted time. I think moving is better for me. I don't know if I can call myself a Curvette after only onece around the circuit--but I...well, you know the drill.
xxooxx

So now what?

2010-01-26T16:25:00.000-08:00

The euphoria of remission is still running wild, but now what do I do? I'm trying to pick up, bit by bit, but I was trying to do that before. There's that stamina thing that needs rebuilding. The best way for me to do that is by walking, but it is hard to walk in a monsoon. It was supposed to clear up today, but it has been dark and overcast all day. I love the rain, but it's keeping me from the walking agenda. Picking up isn't all that exciting either The millions of games on Facebeek have lost some of their charm. Maybe I'll just put all the tasks that need to be done on slips of paper and pull slips of paper out of a hat till everything is accomplished. No, then I'd really have to DO something. I've got three more weeks till I leave for Canada--I could start packing--but it is just pathetic when it takes you longer to pack than you will be gone. I'm guessing that things will eventually fall into place. Till then, I'll just wander around the house and look for things to keep me entertained.
xxooxx

What's a nine letter word starting with an R...

2010-01-21T16:22:00.000-08:00

That word would be REMISSION, and that's where I am officially. Yahoo!!!!! I'm not cancer free, I will never be cancer free, but I'm in remission. Just to be on the safe side, I'm keeping my port in--that means periodic flushings, but that is no big deal. I'll have a repeat CT scan in two months and we'll watch it, but for right now, I'm in remission and I'm happy. I'm going to have to figure out who I am, now that I don't have cancer hanging over my head every minute, but I think I can do that. Thank you all for the prayers and the support. I'm sure I'll need it again. Right now, rejoice with me.
xxooxx

Catching Up Again

2010-01-13T21:59:00.000-08:00

This is so sad--I had to find my spa itinerary to remember what treatments I had. Thursday started out with a Spirulina Body Wrap with Bill. It isn't the least bit glamorous but it does heavenly things to your skin. I had a Watsu with Glen in the afternoon and ended the day with Bill and a Thai Massage. I had an early dinner then back to the room for the end of the BCS Championship with a fire glowing in the fireplace.
Friday--how did that happen? I looked forward to the week for so long and now it was winding down. I had a Sonoma Lavender Kur with Laura. Midday treatment was Reflexology with Reike with Diane--my preview to next week's CT scan. Diane says I'm not out of the woods yet but I will beat this thing. Rudolfo did my manicure--new color--Keys to my Karma--a kickass red that is holding up quite well. I closed my day with a custom blend aromatherapy massage with Glenn. Friday night I packed everything sort of neatly. I was up and out of the room early Saturday morning. I had the bellman load up the car before breakfast. I had one last day of cottage chese lemon pancakes then headed to the spa for my last treatment--Stone Pedicure with Bebe. Bebe also does reflexology and stopped at one point and said, "You're better!" Hope she's right. Toes painted the same kickass red, I went out to the lounge to sid and read (and nap) while my toes dried to the point that my socks wouldn't leave fabric marks on them--about an hour. Leaving is the hardest part, but I had a baby shower to get home to, so it wasn't all bad.
I've been resting since i hot home. Pampering is hard work! I'm trying to pick up, a little at a time. The mess I live in is starting to annoy me. I still get tired very quickly, so it is a little at a time. Winding up bits of yarn and putting them in a bag for people who use them for crafts. I'm finding treasures in the pile. Elaine gave me a picture box, so I finally unloaded the prints I had from our trip to England and France in 07. I think it was the last trip I used film.
Today, I got myself up reasonably early to get into the city for a hair cut. I now look terribly glamorous. Two cuts ago it was too short, the last cut came about a week before the growth spurt, so it was too long. I think this one is just right. I don't want to sleep on it--but I will.
That's it for now--one more week before the CT scan. I'm aprehensive about it, so keep up the prayers.
xxooxx

Back at the Spaaaaaahhhhhhhh

2010-01-06T22:08:00.000-08:00

The days went by very slowly, but finally it was Monday, January 4. The day started with getting my blood sucked and my port flushed. No problem there. I went home and finished my packing. Glenn loaded the car, and I was off. I can't remember if it was 11:20 or 11:40. I went by way of Great Highway to avoid the 19th Av traffic. Before I knew it, I was at the Highway 37 turn off, then I saw the Sonoma 18 mile sign. I got here before 1. I'd requested an early check in but didn't expect my room to be ready that early. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Carlson, we've been waiting for you. Welcome back, here's your key." Next thing I knew, my luggage and I were in Mission Suite 932. My only treatment Monday was a Watsu with Soledad at 5, so I had lunch and a bit of a nap. I made my way to the spa with time for the bathing ritual. What a wonderful sense of homecoming. As I've said before, a Watsu with Soledad is the perfect way to start your week at the SMI. You dump all your cares and woes before you get in the pool. A Watsu with Soledad is a spiritual experience that leaves you ready for whatever comes next. In Monday's case, it was a dash to the locker room and a hot shower--while the pool is wonderfully warm, by six o'clock it was probably heading down into the 40's outside. I had dinner then watched the end of the Fiesta Bowl and started setting up for Tuesday. It was then that I discovered that I had left my Ambien at home. Oops. What a perfect week to find out if I can live without it. So far, so good.
So, Tuesday, I started off with breakfast of Lemon Cottage Cheese Pancakes, then off to the Spa for serious pampering. I started with a Chardonnay Olive Oil Sugar Scrub with Mary. Mary is little but she is mighty. There were months of dead skin cells to scrape off. My skin felt yummy--smelled good, too. Next was the Tandem Massage with Soledad and Lani. Nothing should feel as good as the Tandem Massage. After that, I grazed on fruit and nuts followed by the Bathing Ritual and a facial. A dinner of rack of lamb and back to the room to try to stay awake through the end of the Orange Bowl. Today, I started with a Rejuvenating Kur with David, a Gingerbread Scrub with Arlene--a special they are running for the holidays that leaves you soft and smooth and smelling like a ginger snap--good stuff. I had lunch, a nap, and a Sonoma Stone Massage with Soledad. Soledad got several hugs and lots of love after the massage. She and her husband are leaving at 4 in the morning for a two month vacation in Asia. Good thing I came this week. I would have hated to miss her.
Here I am, back in my room, fire burning in the fireplace, getting ready for bed for yet another day of non-stop pampering. I hope I'm up to it.
xxooxx

The Sixth Day of Christmas

2009-12-30T22:57:00.000-08:00

Whew! How did we get here already? It has been a busy week. Tuesday the 22nd was therapist day. I made chocolate chip cookies for Glenn, but don't remember what else I did--probably work on the puzzle and think about all the things I had to do. Wecnesday started with brunch with a dear friend, then a visit with the Radiation Oncologist, who is concerned that I am still having pain that breaks through the morphine I'm taking--I'll see him again next month after my CT scan. That visit was followed by a trip to the mall for last minute Christmas shopping then to the grocery store for Christmas dinner fixings. An added plus for that task was running into a friend from the phone company.
Now we're to Christmas Eve, and things really get busy. I had to make sure I didn't work myself to death, so I would work on the puzzle till I found a piece, then do a task. The tasks accomplished included putting out three nativity sets, making three different kinds of cookies, cubing a loaf and a half of french bread and seasoning it for stuffing, chopping the onions for the stuffing, fixing dinner for Glenn, taking a nap, then attending Christmas Eve 11 o'clock service where I was one of the readers. I had it easier than Glenn, because he had to be at work at seven on Christmas morning. I got up, did the same routine with the puzzle to enforce rest. I made two kinds of cranberry sauce, finished the stuffing, stuffed the 20 pound turkey and got it into the oven by noon. Mark and Elaine and the kids got to the house around 2. Here's a picture of the tree before presents were opened:

The grandchildren and Mark were enthusiastic about the puzzle, each one lending their efforts to find pieces. The girls had to go with their other grandmother to their cousin's house for dinner, but I kept them at the house till after Glenn got home so we could all be together for a few minutes. Monica gave me an album with pictures from out trip and a key-chain with a digital picture viewer, preloaded with trip pictures.

I was sad the girls couldn't be with us for dinner, but we had a good time. I made a splendid dinner--turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauces, carrots and parsnips, red and gold potatos, green salad and waldorf salad. I never think about dessert--no one needed it. A good time was had by all. Glenn and Elaine took care of the clean-up while Mark and Ryan worked on the puzzle.

Saturday, I could barely move. I slept a lot. The only thing I HAD to do was make tomato soup for Sunday lunch. Sunday was another good day. I had to be alert for church, because I am Worship Leader this month and we had a guest Pastor. Right after church, I called my BFF Roz, who was even then on the BART with our BFF Tobie heading to San Bruno. I got their location and figured out how much longer I could graze on cookies at church. I got to the BART station just before their train came in. Tobie is another friend from jonior high, so another person I've known for 50 years. The last time I saw her was at the hospital a few weeks before my mother died in 1992. A good many hugs were shared. Roz and Tobie came to my house for lunch and memories. Somehow, I didn't get pictures this time. That was my error. Kris is hoping to come north again in April. We'll get Tobie to that reunion and I'll be sure to get pictures then. I took them back to the BART station somewhat after 3. I came home for serious puzzle working. I placed the last peice about 10:45. Here is the completed puzzle:

It was hard to the very last piece. I started it before Thanksgiving. I left it up for a while.

Monday Glenn and I (mostly Glenn) had to get the house ready for my sister--well, sort of ready. I'd made plans with Elaine for her to come over to make more cookies, and to my surprise, she, Mark, and Ryan got here before noon. I was barely up. Elaine was a real helper cleaning Glenn's room for my sister and cleaning the bathroom. It was a little chaotic, but it was good chaos. Somewhere in the afternoon I managed to make cookie dough and get it into the refrigerator. Elaine and Mark went off to see if they could steal the girls from the other grandmother and also bring Mark's daughter, Rachel, up for dinner with my sister. There were unsuscessful on each mission, but later in the afternoon, the OG called to ask if we would like her to drop the girls off when she picked them up after the movie. That was a big YES. By then, the puzzle was back in the box and going home with my daughter so that they could have the joy of putting it together.

Gretchen arrived just as it was starting to rain. We had a dinner of left overs. The girls arrived just as we were starting dinner. It was so wonderful to have my family all together for a meal. Here's the crowd:

It was a wonderful night for me. Exhausting, but wonderful.

Tuesday was another reunion. Our Mother had a first cousin, Evelyn, who lines in Marin County. I've kept in touch with her over the years, but probably hadn't seen her since the early 70's. Gretchen called her before she came up and we make plans for lunch. Here we are with our cousin, Evelyn:

We had a delightful lunch in Larkspur then browsed the shops. As with all the reunions I've had this year, it was as though no time had passed since the last time we were together. Evelyn is one cool LOL--that would be in the pre-e-mail usage of the letters. Her mind is sharp and she is funny, and I'm happy to be related to her. Gretchen and I came home in the late afternoon. We had another dinner of left overs and watched the Kennedy Center Honors, one of my favorite programs of the year. I got to bed was too late.

Gretchen was up and dressed before I woke up. We had breakfast and got her on her way. I went back to sleep and slept until Glenn got home around 12:30. I spent most of the afternoon nodding off. Like Saturday, I never got out of my jammies. I'm looking forward to a restful next few days with NOTHING to do.

xxooxx

Getting There

2009-12-21T22:45:00.000-08:00

It was a work hard day today. Glenn and I bought the Christmas tree on Friday when the weather was good (and a good thing, too, because today has been a real Christmas day--see previous post). The first thing we/I had to do was clear space for the tree then actually get it up from the garage, because the elves were coming in the afternoon to trim it. I'm so far along on the jelly belly puzzle that I don't want to just give up and put it back in the box, so we had to work around the card table. Because my stamina is still non-existant, I hade a deal with myself to make sure I rested. Find a piece for the puzzle, pick up something. I thought that was going to be a good idea till I started finding pieces. Glenn has all the stamina in the world, so he wanted to get it done. When I would start to drip with sweat, I knew it was time to sit for a while. Still, we did manage to clear a path and a place to put the tree. Oops--it's a big tree. Glenn was also dripping by the time he got it upstairs. I helped. I also vacuumed up lots of needles. I love my new vacuum cleaner! I'd love it more if it came with a maid, but nothing is perfect. I watched my soap opera and dried off. The elves arrived right on schedule, God bless them, and we now have a beautiful trimmed tree. I still need to put up the nativity sets, including the one that was up from Dec 2007 till Jan 2009. If I hadn't put it away, I wouldn't have to get it out--just dust it. I opened up the tiny nativity I got in Chartes--wish I'd gotten a ton of those, they would have made great gifts. Gifts--I need to do something about those too. Good thing there are still a few days before Christmas.
xxooxx

Stranger than Fiction

2009-12-17T21:28:00.000-08:00

Those of you who know my son will just say, "Of course." Those of you who don't will just have to take my word for it. Yesterday afternoon, I took a long nap in the afternoon, waking around 7. I didn't feel like eating but thought I needed to come up with something for Glenn. Not a problem, he'd gone out and picked up something for himself. He said he would have asked me, but I out sleeping. He had to eat and run because he was seeing a friend. I know several of Glenn's friends and most of them don't have a clue where his working hours are concerned. Not to worry, he said, he'd be home early. And he was. He got home before 10.
His phone rang at 11ish--see what I mean, no clue about hours. I wasn't asleep yet, and he poked his head in my room and asked if we still had our cat carrier. Now we haven't had a cat for years--maybe 10, and I have no idea what happened to the carrier. Seems the friend he saw had been given a puppy and was flying out at 8 in the morning. They'd been looking for one when he was out earlier. I told him he could go ahead and look, but good luck. Off he went downstairs to the warehouse. Ho luck, so he was back up shortly and said he would be going out--he had one more thought. I went to sleep like a person and I was asleep when he left for work.
So for you Paul Harvey fans, here's the rest of the story. He went to a 24-hour Walgreens to see if they had a pet carrier. He asked the clerk who was talking with a customer. The customer said she used to have a small dog that she took everywhere. Her family had been talking about having a garage sale and including this pet carrier it in. If he wanted, Glenn could wait till she got what she needed and follow her home and check it out. Remember, it's by now around midnight and these were perfect strangers. Glenn waited, followed her home, checked it out, and it was better than perfect. He gave her $20.00, thanked her, and was off to where his lady friend (did I say it was a lady? I believe not) was staying and presented her with the pet carrier. She flew off to Georgia (where she will be living) this morning with her new puppy and presumable all went well.
What are the chances? Less than none. Why did Glenn take on this impossible task? Well, that's just Glenn. And because he is a good soul, good things happen. I'm still shaking my head about the whole thing, but it is all very Glenn. Someone needed something and he make it happen. There are angels and I think my son is one of them.
xxooxx

OK, It's Christmas Season

2009-12-11T15:15:00.000-08:00

It is three o'clock in the afternoon and it is dark outside. It has been dark all day. It is raining cats and dogs and there is a fine fog. Now why would this make it Christmas Season? It is amazing the things that stick with us. When I was a wee little thing, and I actually was, once upon a time, it was the last day of school before Christmas vacation. I was in kindergarten, so it was my first last day before Christmas vacation. I remember walking home to Etna Street (and that is how I know I was in kindergarten) in a driving rain storm. Since then, driving rain and fog in December makes me smile and remember my tiny self splashing home. The only thing that could make it more Christmasy would be making fudge and chocolate chip cookies. They will come sometime within the next two weeks. For now, the dark clouds and the rain and cold are good enough for me.
I had to go out today, since the mail finally included the rent check and I wanted to deposit it, so I got to experience the joy of the storm--somewhat more appealing when watching from the inside out. I dug through the closet to find my snow/rain boots, so my feet were toasty. I'll be needing those boots come February. I feel good today, so it was OK. I did not feel good yesterday. I think 10 hours of sleep helped. I'm still pretty fatigued from the radiation. It has been three weeks now, so maybe there's only one more week of exhaustion.
Back to working on the Christmas cards or working on the puzzle. The puzzle has to be finished before we can haul a tree into the living room, so it is a toss up which task needs doing more. Now would be the time to clone myself.
xxooxx

Recovering from Radiation

2009-12-09T12:50:00.000-08:00

You haven't heard form me in a while because I haven't been doing anything. Radiation hit me harder than I expected. Sometimes I feel a little nauseaus, but mostly I just feel tired. I do too much then I sleep. A nap us usually two to three hours and unless I'm doing anything early in the morning, I always get at least eight hours at night.
To catch you us on the highlights (few though they may be), as I left off, my niece, Victoria, was running in a 40 mile race. Gretchen, Jim, and I bundled into the car in the afternoon to drive the hour or so into the hinterland to watch her finish. That was exciting--cold, but exciting. Victoria was a very tired girl and was really happy when her father volunteered to drive her car home. I'm glad I stayed over Saturday. I would hate to have missed that thrill.
The drive home Sunday wasn't bad till about Prunedale, then 101 turned into a parking lot (you can tell that I'm a Northern California native because I don't say "The" 101). Traffic pretty much let up when I hit 85. It was good to get home, even if I did get home after Glenn went to work and I had to schlep all my stuff upstairs myself. That caused another round of exhaustion. I'm sort of glad I had to put Sonoma off till January.
Nothing much till Wednesday, when I started with an 8:30 doctor (a NON CANCER doctor) appointment, a haircut in the city, lunch with an ex-boss, and shopping. That was a killer day and I paid for it. I had a good time, but I paid for it.
It's been mostly resting and Facebook since then. I did manage the first draft of my Christmas letter--good thing, since the cards have been coming in since the first. I figure if I have them in the mail by the 18th, I've won the battle.
Back to the current puzzle--all jelly bellies. I think I've been working on it a month already.
xxooxx

Hanging at my Sister's

2009-11-28T14:31:00.000-08:00

Spelling and finger dyslexia warning--they have changed blogspot and I don't know where the spellcheck went. I'll try, but spelling and proof-reading have never been my strengths.
The drive down was glorious--warm and clear but with the tang of autumn. I had lunch at Margie's Diner in Paso Robles, where they make about the best fries in the world. I'm sure they are cooked in something terribly toxic and I don't care.
I've been having a great visit with my sister and her family. Gretchen has been very considerate of my post-radition malaise and has let me get plenty of rest. Sleeping late, naps, what more could you ask for. I sat in the sunshine and kept the dogs company. The weather has been spectatular. Wednesday's outing was the Museum of Natural History--a little gem tucked away in Santa Barbara. We weren't the only ones who thought it was a good idea; still, the museum is big enough that it can accomodate lots of people and small enough that it didn't wear me out. Everywhere we looked the views were amazing on the drive to and from.
Thanksgiving Day was restful and casual. We had been invited to have dinner with my nephew's landlords, Flash and Tina. The beauty of having Thanksgiving at someone else's house is that you don't wear yourself out cooking, though we did make three different kinds of cranberry sauce (I made the plain old fashioned one) and Gretchen made an apple pie and a green bean salad. I watched football.
Thanksgiving Dinner was a wonderful experience. We had to park a bit away from the house, so I was winded and exhausted when we got there. I sat down to catch my breath and of course, got weepy. At the least little sentimental thought I become a watering can. I hate it, but what can you do. Tears come like the tide and won't be stopped. I never really know what sets them off. Fortunately, everyone but Gretchen was busy with much preperation, so I didn't weep all over the world. Once drained, I had a lovely time. Flash and Tina were warm and generous hosts as well as being interesting and charming people. Jim brought champagne. I was pretty sure my meds wouldn't like it, but I did. Even bad champagne is good, and this was very good champagne. The property has a huge yard with an amazing brick fireplace that I wanted. We had dinner by a roaring fire, under the stars. Gretchen and I were sitting near the fireplace--we were warm and toasty. One of the guests, a young man named Andy Chang, is s sushi chef. He was in charge of carving the bird. The show of carving was worth the price of admission (or would have been, had there been a charge). Naturally, I left my camera at Gretchen's house and my little gizmo to transfer the pictures to the computer at my house. Many pictures were taken, If Gretchen or Victoria send me one or some (large hint), I will include it or them in a later post. Everything was delicious. Picky eater that I am, I enjoyed everything--even though it was quite dark by the time we ate and I couldn't eat one thing at a time as I usually do. As we were dining under the stars, I thought of friends in other parts of the country where it is really coming on winter and I must say, I gloated and gloried in the evening. It started to get cold, so pie was eaten indoors--by the fire in the living room. Getting me off the couch took three strong men and a boy, and it wasn't pretty, but I did it. This is my third Thanksgiving since I lost Lee. Each one has been special and each one included a few challanges. This year, except for the weepy bouts, has been delightfully challange free.
Yesterday morning--well, late morning--Gretchen took me for a ride with views to admire. The family went wine tasting in the afternoon--I took two naps. While I was napping the wind came up with a vengance. Gretchen had a tennis date after the wine tasting. The rest of us agreed that we were happy not to be her, trying to play tennis in a hurricane.
This morning was another drive with errends, Victoria is off on a 40 mile race and Gretchen and Jim are at a 50th anniversary party. My original intenion was go to home today, thinking they would have had enough of me by now, but Gretchen looked hurt when I suggested it, so I'll be driving home tomorrow with the rest of the world. Kyle will be coming over for dinner tonight, so it will be nice to see him again this trip.
I'm afraid I've turned into the feeble old aunt that people need to help in and out of chairs and up and down stairs. Part of me hates it and the other part knows that I am helped out of love, so I appreciate it.
The only real downside to going away for Thanksgiving is no left overs. I'm sure Glenn would be happy for me to do a turkey dinner sometime and I almost think we could find friends to join us. Now there's a thought.
That's it for now. It might be nap time or it might be Facebook time. We'll see.
xxooxx

Advent is earlier this year and will last longer

2009-11-22T15:36:00.000-08:00

Friday was my last radiation. I was not welcomed with flowers and cake, but I did get hugs, and hugs are better than just about anything--except maybe diamonds. I saw Dr. Chee in the afternoon (my little Cal Bear of an oncologist). So now we wait. Apparently, getting zapped with radiation is only half the battle. Now that I've been zapped, the radiation has to do its work. This takes time. I get to learn a new skill. I get to learn patience. Dr. Chee put in the order for my next CT scan, but it won't be till the middle of January, at which time, we will see what the radiation accomplished and the next game plan will be made. I'm in cancer limbo now, just waiting.

Yesterday was not a waiting day. Yesterday was the church Thanksgiving Dinner, for which I have been chief cook for the last several years. I arrived at church shortly after 9 in the morning, ready to work. As always, I had a crew of helpers who make the time go by with laughter and conversation. I start with cranberry sauce, to get that smell going. We dispatched six bags of cranberries and moved on to stuffing--yet more smells to fill the church. This year there were five turkeys--four to be stuffed and one to be gluten free--though we did stuff it with onions because I just couldn't handle the thought of cooking a turkey with NOTHING inside of it. The birds were all in the oven by 12:30. It is always such an act of faith to stick the birds in the oven then go home and trust that they will be cooked when you get back. My BIG sacrifice this year was BIG GAME. The game started at 4:30 and that's when I had to be back at church for the rest of the festivities. When I first started cooking the Thanksgiving Dinner, we had it on a Friday. The only thing that ran interference with it was Pacific Star Chapter's installation. I have been knows to finish up the dinner in a formal. When they moved the dinner to Saturday, it always hits on BIG GAME DAY. Now this is manageable when big game starts at 12:30 or 1--get the birds in the oven, come home, watch the game, change clothes, get back to church and finish up. I had my little radio with me, but it isn't the same. Still, I was able to maintain contact and knew what was going on most of the time.
Back at the church, God worked His miracles. The building was full of wonderful smells. The birds were cooked. I tried to take the first one out of the oven and got yelled at. Birds out of the oven, stuffing out of the birds, unstuffed birds handed off to the cravers while we collected juices for gravy. My last job is making the gravy, which is pretty much by guess and by gosh. Too thick? Add water or more juice, if available, not thick enough? Mix cold water and flour to make more roux. Find volunteer tasters to see if it needs more salt of pepper, and stir, stir, stir. There will be no lumps in this gravy. And listen to the game. Finally, everything is ready to eat. By this time, I took the first percocet of the day. The Thanksgiving Dinner is always a big success, and last night was no different. We had a good crowd and lots of good food. After dinner, the tables were cleared and put away and the chairs were brought back into pew formation. It was time for the last act of the day--the talent show and Open Mic Night. We started with Anne and the Bethany Brawlers, playing Simple Gifts and a nice leisurely tempo then switching to Pigtown Fling as fast as I could play it. We got the crowd clapping in time to the music. We rearranged our percussion section--that was Fred switching from the spoons to the bodhran, and played Riding on a Load of Hay. One more instrument change for Fred and we closed with Ashokan Farewell. After that, I was officially allowed to be tired. I checked the score again--we won!--then sat through the rest of the show, looking sort of glassy-eyed. It was a great show, as usual. I must admit, I was happy to finally go home. I didn't set the alarm and still made it up in time for church today. I am now hanging out, which I intend to do tomorrow too. And wait. I think I shall wait tomorrow.
That's it.
xxooxx

Nothing Really New

2009-11-18T21:39:00.000-08:00

It's been a while, so I thought I should let you know I'm still alive. I have two more days of radiation. My lovely 10:10 appointment was bumped up to 8:30 for the next two days to accommodate the breast cancer patients who have special radiation needs. I know it is really small and petty of me, but I'm having my own little war with the breast cancer patients. They get all the headlines, they get the pretty pink ribbon, they get the three day walk--no one even crosses the street for cancer of the peritoneum. There's this fancy new protocol for breast cancer--only five days of radiation, but twice a day at six hour intervals--the rest of us get stuck in around them. I find it annoying, like my cancer isn't as important as theirs is. Do they want to go out back and duke it out? I've probably had it longer and my prognosis is worse than theirs. Glenn just laughs at me when I snort about the breast cancer patients. Only two more days. I see my oncologist on Friday to find out what's next. She doesn't do breast cancer, so I know I won't get bumped there. Bless his heart, Glenn is taking an hour off work to come with me. He really wants to know what is going on.
I'm getting better at being honest about how I'm doing. If I don't feel good, I'll say so. Sometimes, the clue is that I'll say I'm OK, ass opposed to fine or good. I'm assuming that if people ask, they genuinely want to know.
I'm above the grass, so things are better than they could be.
That's it for now.
xxooxx

So Here's How I've Been Spending my Days

2009-11-09T18:59:00.000-08:00

So here is the radiation step of the cancer journey. First, here's the BIG machine.

And here are my technicians

Now, hop on to the table and get comfortable

Say Cheese!

It was really cold in the Cancer Center today, so they draped my sweater around my neck like a shawl. After they get me in exactly the right position--every day--they leave the room. The BIG machine comes down and zaps me, moves around tha zaps me again, moves around again, zaps again, and one more time, which always includes some shaking of the table--I won't know if we're having an earthquake while I'm getting radiation--then one last zap. After all that, I get to relax my arms--which are usually uncomfortable by that time--the BIG machine moves back into place and the table slides out and the help me off. See you tomorrow. Sixteen down, nine to go!

I'm actually feeling sort of crappy today, so I'm pretty much doing nothing. I saw the doctor today, Dr. Tran, the back-up. We had a philosophical discussion about making plans. She said since 9-11 she hasn't been able to plan anyting in the future. I've always been a planner, so I'm looking forward to the next CAT scan and the next step. Then I can make plans for the spa and the future.

xxooxx

What Hip Pain?

2009-11-07T21:15:00.000-08:00

So after all that excitement yesterday, I woke up today feeling fine--well, my hip felt fine. Stomach is a little crampy, but I think that's from 15 (times 4) zaps from the big radiation machine. I was able to run some errands and do the grocery shopping. Watched two football games--one very exciting and the one I really cared about very sad. I'm still a "GO BEARS!" girl, but they let me down this afternoon. Anyway, I feel better. Ellen Kross is sure she prayed it better. I think she did. I'm ready for the next round of thrills.
xxooxx

An Interesting Day

2009-11-06T20:50:00.000-08:00

I woke up today, when the alarm went off at 7:15, with an intense pain in my left hip shooting down to my knee. It hurt lying down, it hurt standing up, it hurt sitting down. In my former life, I would just have thought I slept wrong and the pain would go away after a bit. Around 8, I took a percocet, which didn't help much. It did, however, make me loopy enough that I didn't think driving would be a good idea. I called my friend Ellen Kross from church, who has offered taxi service if required. Ellen is a retired nurse. She was happy to drive me to radiation, but told me if I didn't tell them about the pain, she would. I told Lynn, the radition oncology nurse, who runs the joint. She asked a bunch of questions then decided the person to call was Dr. Chee or her PA. While this was going on, they called me for radiation, so off I hobbled. Shot full of toxic rays, I went back to the waiting room. Lynn had left a message. She called them back while we waited. The concensus was that I should try to see my orthopediest. I called his office--by 10:30 the doctors were gone for the day to do surgery, so there was no one to see. I called Dr. Chee's office back. Dr. Chee was with a patient, but I should go home and she would call me there.
Off we went. I thanked Ellen for the ride and went inside. At noon, I took another percocet. It helped a little more. Dr. Chee called me just before 2. She wanted me to get x-rays just to rule out cancer problems. Hello, Ellen, how do you feel about more taxi service? I could have waited for Glenn to get off work, but the prudent thing seemed to be to get it done ASAP. Dr. Chee faxed the order to the hospital (not the same one where I spend my mornings, the one closer to my house) so it was waiting for me. I think I had a student doing the work. He was very kind and very polite, but there were several people helping him. I'm still hoping that I slept funny, but lying on the x-ray table my brain was crowed with cancer questions and I got weepy. I’m sure they all thought it was the pain, and that's OK. I guess I didn't break anything, because they sent me on my way and told me that my doctor would have the results by Monday.
I called Elaine, who is still mending. Things must be getting back to normal, because she didn't have time to talk and said she would call me back. I'm still waiting. While I was waiting, though, my sister called, and that was a pleasant surprise. She and Jim are in the bay area for tomorrow's Cal game. She was properly sympathetic for my day. I took yet another percocet at 4 and got really loopy--but more or less pain-free.
So that was my day. Not what I had intended. I didn't have anything planned--good thing, plans were made for me.
I'm feeling pretty anesthetized right now. Guess I won't sleep on my left side tonight. Maybe I'll wake up with my right hip hurting...
xxooxx

They Also Love Who Sit and Wait

2009-11-04T21:48:00.000-08:00

I started the day off with, gosh, radiation--13 down 12 to go--then I was off to San Ramon Regional Medical Center, where I was NOT the patient. I got there about 11:45 and waited for Elaine and Mark to get there. They were due in around noon. Elaine's surgery was scheduled for 1:30. They were only a little bit late, which, for Elaine, is early (if you know her, you understand). She was one nervous little girl. We kept things light and waited with her during pre-op. I let her know that it was OK to be nervous and it was OK to cry if she needed to. Mark had to leave before they came to get her, he being on kid pick-up duty. I alternately rubbed her feet, held her hand, and knit, keeping the conversation light. They eventually gave her something for the anxiety, which helped--a little. Finally, it was time to take her to the OR. I got to go with her and stay with her while she was in a holding pattern--holding her hand, patting her face, stroking her brow. The surgeon came to talk with us--37years old, really handsome, exuding an air of confidence. I knew my little girl would be in good hands. They finally came to take her to the actual OR. I went back to the pre-op room, picked up our stuff, and dumped it in the trunk, then went in search of food. It was about 2. I had soup, crackers, OJ, and cookies--enough to keep me going. Back to the car to get my knitting stuff, then into the surgery waiting room to wait. And wait. Mark got back somewhat after three, all the children being fetched and dumped at the house with instructions to clean up and do homework. It was after five when the surgeon came to talk to us. All went well. He said it was the second largest bulging disk he has ever seen. It came out in one piece and the actual surgery was a slam dunk. He said Elaine was able to move everything and that there should be no complications. She should be out of pain once she recovers from the surgery. We got a call from the Post-OP unit. Elaine wanted to see us, so we went trotting down the hall. There were no other patients there, so we could stay with her. Poor little thing--she really did look like she had been ridden hard and put away muddy. They got her set up with a PCA, set to dispense on six minute intervals. The PCA is your new best friend after surgery. Post-Op was about an hour. At 6:05, we were once again, trotting through the halls to the ICU, where we got to wait while they got her in her room. In short order, her nurse came to get us and take us back to her room. She was already starting to perk up a bit; she was able to sip a little Sprite. I was going to wait till she went to sleep, but it had been a very long day for me and I still had an hour drive home, so I left a little before 7. I was famished, so I came home by way of Burger King. I called the hospital and spoke with her nurse around 8:30. She was sitting up and taking broth. I told her nurse to let her know that I'd made it home safely. I also called Mark, as ordered (by Elaine) to let him know that I'd made it home without incident.

So now I'm blogging. It has been a very long day, but I would not have been anywhere else. Earlier in the week when we talked, Elaine didn't think I needed to be there during the surgery. I needed to be there. I think she was glad her mommie was there. I would have been a wreck worrying at home.

My impressions of the hospital--a small but state of the art facility. Everyone was unfailingly kind. I think in a bigger hospital, she would have just been put in a regular room. This is small enough that she gets the extra care of the ICU. At no time did anyone seem too busy to answer a question or to make us all feel comfortable. It is a long way away for me--come to think of it, it is a bit of a drive from Elaine's house--but I am so glad that they are taking care of Elaine. She will be kept as comfortable as possible in a cervical collar with a fresh wound in her neck. The nurse said she would probably be going home tomorrow. There was some talk about her coming her to recuperate, but I think she will want to go to her own home. Except for the ride home, which is unavoidable, she isn't allowed to even travel in a car for two weeks. I know she couldn't be away from her babies for that long--even if they do frustrate her. They are all old enough now to shoulder the responsibility of taking care of her.

I'm tired. I'll check the Facebook crops and then contemplate bed. I think I'll go to radiation in the morning.

xxooxx

I know, I know, It's Been a While

2009-11-01T15:42:00.000-08:00

Just assume that my life has been really boring when there are big gaps between postings. The reunion with the Willard Hellcats was so very special that it has been difficult to top it. Since then, my days have consisted of radiation and whatever else is going on. The facility where I take my radiation is a really lovely place, inside and out. The grounds are nicely landscaped and the waiting room is filled with things to keep you entertained. There is always a jigsaw puzzle going--which reminds me how much I enjoy doing puzzles. So, I cracked out a puzzle of Vernal Falls that I bought on some trip to Yosemite. I did that in less than a week--because I had a real treat waiting for me. The radiation oncology nurse has a stash of puzzles. Among them is one that a patient gave the center. It is a very special puzzle, since they go for $500.00 each--this patient orders three of them a year. They are made of wood and each piece is individually crafted. The nurse does NOT put this puzzle out of the table for everyone to work on. When she finds a patient who likes puzzles, she loans it out. There are 550 pieces. At first, I wasn't sure I would ever get it done--then maybe that I could find two matching pieces a day. It occurred to me that I should have taken a picture when I started. I didn't, but I did take a picture before I started working on it yesterday.

Here are two pictures I took of the individual shapes:

Note the lovely nails. Oh, no, this is about the puzzle. Here are the pieces left in the box, waiting to find homes.

I started working on it yesterday when the Cal game started (Go Bears!). I finished it sometime during the Oregon-USC game (Go Ducks!)

I am quite proud of myself. Of course, now that I have finished it and photographed it and blogged about it, I can put it back in the box and take it back to the center for the next poor unsuspecting soul.

On the same subject of puzzles and the radiation oncology center, we've been working on the same puzzle for the two weeks that I've been going there this round. I've started getting there early to work on the puzzle. When I got there Friday, I discovered the meanest thing that anyone could do. Someone had scrambled all the pieces, destroying the corporate work of several devoted fans. There were several not very happy patients. I separated out the border pieces and did as much as I could before they interrupted me with the actual reason I was there. I stayed on for a while, trying to get it back together, but I remembered I that things to do.

One of those things was the marketing. My niece, Victoria, was coming over for dinner and I was going to make drunk chicken. Having made it last month for Elaine's non-visit, I was reminded how much fun it was to make and how good it is. Victoria BARTed over since it is easier and the bay bridge is still broken. We had a delightful visit. Victoria was quite taken with the puzzle and helped me with it.
So that's it. We had a treat at church today with a visit from former members who moved to Texas some 20 years ago.
I think I will go to radiation tomorrow. 10 down, 15 to go.
xxooxx

The Best Continued

2009-10-21T11:23:00.000-07:00

Andrea flew home Tuesday, but Kris and Roz and I had another day. Kris picked me up at 9:30 and we went off to my radiation appointment. I was the navigator and I got us there, no problem. Kris takes directions well. After I got zapped, we filled her rental with gas and picked Roz up at the San Bruno BART station. We came up to my house to regroup, then we were off to Golden Gate Park. The drive in took a certain amount of flexibility, since the Great Highway was closed and we missed a turn or two. No problem, after a somewhat circuitous route we got to the parking lot for the Hall of Sciences. I took a picture of the new deYoung Museum, which we didn't visit this trip, but I have a picture of it anyway.

We did visit the Steinhart Aquarium and the Hall of Sciences. We failed to pick up a map on our way in, we sort of bumbled our way around. It didn't matter. We would have had fun in Walmart. We looked at the Swamp and saw the Albino Alligator, which Roz christened White Guy. The name stuck for us. Childhood memories were preserved by the fencing around the exhibit--a row of seahorses that they preserved from the old aquarium. We visited fishes in no particular order but enjoyed the pretty colors. We saw a little of the penguin feeding. We looked at the Rain Forest exhibit, but decided not to view it close up, as it entailed a three story walk up a ramp and neither Roz or I felt up to that. We took a couple of breaks for some rather indifferent food--we didn't find the better restaurant till we were about ready to leave. We did not die of starvation. There was a Mandrake grove that tickled Roz.

I took a picture of the two of them looking at the trees and the fishes then I had them turn around and look at me.

It wasn't the most scientifically laid out visit, but we had fun. We looked at the pendulum that we all remembered from childhood visits. We looked at the African Animal exhibit--most of what we saw we sort of stumbled upon by accident. We got maps on the way out. Next time we will go to the deYoung. It was far more important to be together and talking than where we were. The backdrop was a happy addition but not the purpose of the day.

We had to get Roz to a BART station by 5ish and Kris had an 8:00 PM flight out of San Jose. We hugged one another and we had group hugs and we told one another that we loved each other. Willie Shakespeare was right, parting was sweet sorrow. As with so many other things for me this year, it did not feel like good bye. It felt like something we need to repeat. All of our lives have been so very different than what we planned when we were 12, yet what has remained constant is our love for each other. Beneath the years are the same little girls who thought they were so very sophisticated--actually, we were pretty sophisticated. We had fun together then and we can have fun together now. Now it is sweeter for the various life lessons we've all had. If I didn't tell you often enough, I love you, my friends. I can not imagine two more perfect days.

Glenn took me to radiation today. Now I need to rest up from a week of excitement.

xxooxx

The Best Day

2009-10-19T23:09:00.000-07:00

It was a wonderful day. Kris got here just after 9:30 and we had time to catch up before it was off to radiation. That wasn't so best--they took the initial films before I had my first treatment. It was about 45 minutes of lying on a plank with my arms up above my head, not moving. That was a little rough. The rest of the treatments won't be quite as hard. When we got home, I had a message from Andrea at around 10:30 trying to connect with Roz. I called Andrea's cell and happily got Roz--they had connected at a BART station and were already in the city, turning on to my freeway. Oh, the anticipation then! They were at my house in no time at all. We fell on each other. There was 200 years of friendship here in my house. We just hung out--they brought lunch. We ate and chatted and shared pictures and significant life moments. Remember, the last time the four of us were together was August 13, 1966. We had LOTS of catching up to do.

So here they are, my BFF's, Roz, Kris, and Andrea .

We rearranged and took more pictures--here I am with various friends:

There was so much love in the room. We laughed until tears were running and we cried. We were silly junior high girls again and we were women who have all experienced much. Of course, the elephant in the room was the fact that I have a terminal illness. We didn't dwell on it, but we didn't avoid it either. It was, after all, the catalyst for getting us all together. I love a lot of people, but I don't think I love anyone more than these wonderful women. Andrea is flying back to Missouri in the morning, but Kris, Roz, and I have plans--after I'm radiated, of course.

Thank you, God, for this wonderful day and for these enduring friendships. I am truly blessed.

xxooxx

Oops, another week gone by

2009-10-18T21:13:00.000-07:00

I know how I let that happen--I was out of town half the week and very busy. So, you just get highlights--or lowlights. Tuesdays, we had a humdinger of a storm. It was our first of the season and it was quite something. We're lucky to pick up an inch of rain on a really rainy day--I think we got close to three inches. I made my way through the storm to see my therapist downtown. I only had to walk from my car to the BART, BART to his office, then repeat the process in reverse after the appointment. Even so, I felt a bit like a tea bag when I got to his office--not even half a block from the station. When I got home, Glenn greeted me with, "You aren't going to be very happy." Water was running through the light fixture in my bedroom onto the middle of the foot of my bed. No, I wasn't happy We quickly stripped the bed down to where it was dry--under the mattress pad--and put large pots in strategic places to catch the drips. I noticed that it stopped dripping in the afternoon. It was still raining, but the wind was no longer blowing a gale. I called Elaine to get Mark over here to look at it. Mark put the roof on in 1992. He wasn't able to make it over that day, but his supposition, and mine, was that it was more of a wind problem than a leak. The roof should have several more good years. He'll take care of it. I'm not worried. It may have been God's little way of getting me to change everything and wash everything on the bed. God has a strange sense of humor.
Wednesday, I threw my stuff together and Dory picked me up around 10:30 for our annual trek down to Grand Chapter. It was in Visalia this year. Many things were very good. We walked out of our hotel and into the convention center. There were no stairs involved in getting in and out of the arena. The seats weren't particularly comfortable. I had to keep my feet elevated, so we found a seat behind a place with two armrests on the seats in front of me and there was room to put keep my feet up most of the time. It wasn't terribly comfortable, but the swelling didn't get any worse and once and a while I can not only see ankles but feel shinbone! It was wonderful, as always to see friends I only see once a year. Everyone told me I looked great. I thanked them. I'm used to my pain med level now and I don't feel bad--It was exhausting being in grown-up lady clothes for four days. I got home before 5 this afternoon and was in my jammies by 6. The food at Grand Chapter was a different story. The hotel restaurant absolutely was not ready for us. We went to one banquet at the convention center, which was really bad, and one luncheon at one of the hotels off site that was a really good meal--not just a good banquet meal. We had one evening with nothing to do, so we walked through the downtown area and found a delicious dinner.
Grand Chapter itself was interesting. I have been going to every one since 1982, so I've been to a lot of Grand Chapter weeks now. The officers presided beautifully. The legislation was interesting--no, challenging, but handled smoothly and efficiently. I love going to Grand Chapter. I hope to be able to make it to many more.
We thought about coming home by way of Yosemite, but we didn't leave Visalia till after 11. Good judgment prevailed and we came straight home. Dory did all the driving, so i was able to get lots of knitting done. We have a great time together. I am so blessed to have her for a friend.
Tomorrow is a big day--the start of my radiation and a reunion with my BFF's from junior high school. The four of us haven't been together since August 13, 1966! We've all known each other for 50 years! How is this possible when I am only 21? Looking forward with great anticipation.
xxooxx

Evening Sunshine

2009-10-10T20:06:00.000-07:00

God puts special in your life. I had a visit this evening with my friend Mary--or Baby Mary as she was when I first met her. Her parents were friends of Lee's for a long time before he was married, I think before they were married and before any of them had any children. Mary came with the group that came into my life when I started seeing Lee seriously, the Gateswingers. I met Mary on her 10th birthday. Mary's birthday is July 4 and Lee and his children had gone to the July 4 party at Mary's parents home for years. Mary and I were kindred spirits at sight. Both of our birthdays are in July. We each have older sisters so we knew that younger sisters rule. Mary was at our wedding. Mary and her family came to Jones Gulch while the girls were growing up. Mary and I hung out at the Gulch. In her late teens, Mary started working at Macy's in Hillsdale--in the Fat Lady department--so I bought my clothes from Mary for a few years, till she really grew up and moved to Sacramento. I missed Mary's wedding because I had another commitment, but I would much rather have been at Mary's wedding than where I was.

Anyway, Mary spent the day with her parents today, and stopped by for a visit on her way back to Sacramento. That was my ray of sunshine today. Mary brought tea and treats and joy. She also brought me a glass pumpkin--see picture. I took Mary's picture too--she's much prettier than I am, but I promised I wouldn't put it on Facebook, so it will just be shared with Glenn and Elaine who grew up with her. I think Mary's sister is about Glenn's age and Mary is just a few months younger than Elaine. We had a lovely visit. We had years to make up and many hugs to exchange. I had a wonderful time--I hope Mary did too. I didn't feel loopy, I wasn't in pain. Tea and treats are a perfect way to spend an evening. So thank you, God, for putting Mary into my life. She was a delightful child and has grown up to be a lovely woman. Come to think of it, God sends many wonderful people my direction. I am blessed.

xxooxx

It's still Friday for a few more minutes

2009-10-09T23:45:00.000-07:00

I've been getting used to the higher level of pain meds this week, so things have sort of blended. Wednesday's highlight was craft circle at church. We still need to encourage more people to come. It is a very enjoyable way to spend an hour.
Thursday I took benedryl with the pain meds in the morning, because the pain meds can make me itchy and they were. Not a problem. I went back to sleep till 12:35. So much for the morning. My good friend came over in the afternoon and we chatted and had tea. She has taken it upon herself to help me stay hydrated, so when she comes over, we always have tea. Right now we're drinking Vanilla Pomegranate. It's really good.
Because I was still pretty loopy, I asked Dory for a ride to chapter last night. I feel OK driving in the daylight, but night time is still a little scary. Chapter was interesting. It was also Elections. I managed to get myself elected Associate Matron. My friend Mike Mancusso will serve as my Associate Patron. I think Mike and I will have a good time in 2011.
I've been a little less loopy today. I had a follow up with the cardiologist in the afternoon. He assured me that my heart is doing well. I've made some progress on the fluid retention. He asked me if I was keeping my legs up. Uh, not really. It is hard to play Facebook with my feet up. He suggested I figure out a way, because elevation will help. I now have a box under my desk and I'm trying to keep my feet up on it. I think it will work. Keeping them elevated at Grand Chapter will be another issue. It will look really tacky if I drape my legs over the seat in front of me. I guess I'll cross that bridge when it hatches. At least I won't be sitting on ice this year.
I must have gotten all my weeping for the week out on Monday--the remainder of the week has been pretty dry. I know that weeping when you need to is OK, but it can be exhausting. Nothing has really changed--except I don't hurt as much--maybe that has been a big change.
I've been checking up on Gloriann all week and she is doing well. The surgery took more out of her than she expected. While I do remind her that she isn't 18 any more, I also let her know that she is on track and it is all right for her to feel like she's been hit by a truck. She had surgery.
That's it for now. oops--I just slopped over into Saturday. Better get to bed.
xxooxx