Nothing Really New

It's been a while, so I thought I should let you know I'm still alive. I have two more days of radiation. My lovely 10:10 appointment was bumped up to 8:30 for the next two days to accommodate the breast cancer patients who have special radiation needs. I know it is really small and petty of me, but I'm having my own little war with the breast cancer patients. They get all the headlines, they get the pretty pink ribbon, they get the three day walk--no one even crosses the street for cancer of the peritoneum. There's this fancy new protocol for breast cancer--only five days of radiation, but twice a day at six hour intervals--the rest of us get stuck in around them. I find it annoying, like my cancer isn't as important as theirs is. Do they want to go out back and duke it out? I've probably had it longer and my prognosis is worse than theirs. Glenn just laughs at me when I snort about the breast cancer patients. Only two more days. I see my oncologist on Friday to find out what's next. She doesn't do breast cancer, so I know I won't get bumped there. Bless his heart, Glenn is taking an hour off work to come with me.  He really wants to know what is going on.
I'm getting better at being honest about how I'm doing. If I don't feel good, I'll say so. Sometimes, the clue is that I'll say I'm OK, ass opposed to fine or good. I'm assuming that if people ask, they genuinely want to know.
I'm above the grass, so things are better than they could be.
That's it for now.
xxooxx

So Here's How I've Been Spending my Days

So here is the radiation step of the cancer journey.  First, here's the BIG machine.

And here are my technicians

Now, hop on to the table and get comfortable

Say Cheese!

It was really cold in the Cancer Center today, so they draped my sweater around my neck like a shawl.  After they get me in exactly the right position--every day--they leave the room.  The BIG machine comes down and zaps me, moves around tha zaps me again, moves around again, zaps again, and one more time, which always includes some shaking of the table--I won't know if we're having an earthquake while I'm getting radiation--then one last zap.  After all that, I get to relax my arms--which are usually uncomfortable by that time--the BIG machine moves back into place and the table slides out and the help me off.  See you tomorrow.  Sixteen down, nine to go!

I'm actually feeling sort of crappy today, so I'm pretty much doing nothing.  I saw the doctor today, Dr. Tran, the back-up.  We had a philosophical discussion about making plans.  She said since 9-11 she hasn't been able to plan anyting in the future.  I've always been a planner, so I'm looking forward to the next CAT scan and the next step.  Then I can make plans for the spa and the future.

xxooxx

What Hip Pain?

So after all that excitement yesterday, I woke up today feeling fine--well, my hip felt fine.  Stomach is a little crampy, but I think that's from 15 (times 4) zaps from the big radiation machine.  I was able to run some errands and do the grocery shopping.  Watched two football games--one very exciting and the one I really cared about very sad.  I'm still a "GO BEARS!" girl, but they let me down this afternoon.  Anyway, I feel better.  Ellen Kross is sure she prayed it better.  I think she did.  I'm ready for the next round of thrills.
xxooxx

An Interesting Day

I woke up today, when the alarm went off at 7:15, with an intense pain in my left hip shooting down to my knee.  It hurt lying down, it hurt standing up, it hurt sitting down.  In my former life, I would just have thought I slept wrong and the pain would go away after a bit.  Around 8, I took a percocet, which didn't help much.  It did, however, make me loopy enough that I didn't think driving would be a good idea.  I called my friend Ellen Kross from church, who has offered taxi service if required.  Ellen is a retired nurse.  She was happy to drive me to radiation, but told me if I didn't tell them about the pain, she would.  I told Lynn, the radition oncology nurse, who runs the joint.  She asked a bunch of questions then decided the person to call was Dr. Chee or her PA.  While this was going on, they called me for radiation, so off I hobbled.  Shot full of toxic rays, I went back to the waiting room.  Lynn had left a message.  She called them back while we waited.  The concensus was that I should try to see my orthopediest.  I called his office--by 10:30 the doctors were gone for the day to do surgery, so there was no one to see.  I called Dr. Chee's office back.  Dr. Chee was with a patient, but I should go home and she would call me there.
Off we went. I thanked Ellen for the ride and went inside. At noon, I took another percocet. It helped a little more. Dr. Chee called me just before 2. She wanted me to get x-rays just to rule out cancer problems. Hello, Ellen, how do you feel about more taxi service? I could have waited for Glenn to get off work, but the prudent thing seemed to be to get it done ASAP. Dr. Chee faxed the order to the hospital (not the same one where I spend my mornings, the one closer to my house) so it was waiting for me. I think I had a student doing the work. He was very kind and very polite, but there were several people helping him. I'm still hoping that I slept funny, but lying on the x-ray table my brain was crowed with cancer questions and I got weepy. I’m sure they all thought it was the pain, and that's OK. I guess I didn't break anything, because they sent me on my way and told me that my doctor would have the results by Monday.
I called Elaine, who is still mending. Things must be getting back to normal, because she didn't have time to talk and said she would call me back. I'm still waiting. While I was waiting, though, my sister called, and that was a pleasant surprise. She and Jim are in the bay area for tomorrow's Cal game. She was properly sympathetic for my day. I took yet another percocet at 4 and got really loopy--but more or less pain-free.
So that was my day. Not what I had intended. I didn't have anything planned--good thing, plans were made for me.
I'm feeling pretty anesthetized right now. Guess I won't sleep on my left side tonight. Maybe I'll wake up with my right hip hurting...
xxooxx

They Also Love Who Sit and Wait

I started the day off with, gosh, radiation--13 down 12 to go--then I was off to San Ramon Regional Medical Center, where I was NOT the patient. I got there about 11:45 and waited for Elaine and Mark to get there. They were due in around noon. Elaine's surgery was scheduled for 1:30. They were only a little bit late, which, for Elaine, is early (if you know her, you understand). She was one nervous little girl. We kept things light and waited with her during pre-op. I let her know that it was OK to be nervous and it was OK to cry if she needed to. Mark had to leave before they came to get her, he being on kid pick-up duty. I alternately rubbed her feet, held her hand, and knit, keeping the conversation light. They eventually gave her something for the anxiety, which helped--a little. Finally, it was time to take her to the OR. I got to go with her and stay with her while she was in a holding pattern--holding her hand, patting her face, stroking her brow. The surgeon came to talk with us--37years old, really handsome, exuding an air of confidence. I knew my little girl would be in good hands. They finally came to take her to the actual OR. I went back to the pre-op room, picked up our stuff, and dumped it in the trunk, then went in search of food. It was about 2. I had soup, crackers, OJ, and cookies--enough to keep me going. Back to the car to get my knitting stuff, then into the surgery waiting room to wait. And wait. Mark got back somewhat after three, all the children being fetched and dumped at the house with instructions to clean up and do homework. It was after five when the surgeon came to talk to us. All went well. He said it was the second largest bulging disk he has ever seen. It came out in one piece and the actual surgery was a slam dunk. He said Elaine was able to move everything and that there should be no complications. She should be out of pain once she recovers from the surgery. We got a call from the Post-OP unit. Elaine wanted to see us, so we went trotting down the hall. There were no other patients there, so we could stay with her. Poor little thing--she really did look like she had been ridden hard and put away muddy. They got her set up with a PCA, set to dispense on six minute intervals. The PCA is your new best friend after surgery. Post-Op was about an hour. At 6:05, we were once again, trotting through the halls to the ICU, where we got to wait while they got her in her room. In short order, her nurse came to get us and take us back to her room. She was already starting to perk up a bit; she was able to sip a little Sprite. I was going to wait till she went to sleep, but it had been a very long day for me and I still had an hour drive home, so I left a little before 7. I was famished, so I came home by way of Burger King. I called the hospital and spoke with her nurse around 8:30. She was sitting up and taking broth. I told her nurse to let her know that I'd made it home safely. I also called Mark, as ordered (by Elaine) to let him know that I'd made it home without incident.


So now I'm blogging. It has been a very long day, but I would not have been anywhere else. Earlier in the week when we talked, Elaine didn't think I needed to be there during the surgery. I needed to be there. I think she was glad her mommie was there. I would have been a wreck worrying at home.

My impressions of the hospital--a small but state of the art facility. Everyone was unfailingly kind. I think in a bigger hospital, she would have just been put in a regular room. This is small enough that she gets the extra care of the ICU. At no time did anyone seem too busy to answer a question or to make us all feel comfortable. It is a long way away for me--come to think of it, it is a bit of a drive from Elaine's house--but I am so glad that they are taking care of Elaine. She will be kept as comfortable as possible in a cervical collar with a fresh wound in her neck. The nurse said she would probably be going home tomorrow. There was some talk about her coming her to recuperate, but I think she will want to go to her own home. Except for the ride home, which is unavoidable, she isn't allowed to even travel in a car for two weeks. I know she couldn't be away from her babies for that long--even if they do frustrate her. They are all old enough now to shoulder the responsibility of taking care of her.

I'm tired. I'll check the Facebook crops and then contemplate bed. I think I'll go to radiation in the morning.

xxooxx

I know, I know, It's Been a While

Just assume that my life has been really boring when there are big gaps between postings.  The reunion with the Willard Hellcats was so very special that it has been difficult to top it.  Since then, my days have consisted of radiation and whatever else is going on.  The facility where I take my radiation is a really lovely place, inside and out.  The grounds are nicely landscaped and the waiting room is filled with things to keep you entertained.  There is always a jigsaw puzzle going--which reminds me how much I enjoy doing puzzles.  So, I cracked out a puzzle of Vernal Falls that I bought on some trip to Yosemite.  I did that in less than a week--because I had a real treat waiting for me.  The radiation oncology nurse has a stash of puzzles.  Among them is one that a patient gave the center.  It is a very special puzzle, since they go for $500.00 each--this patient orders three of them a year.  They are made of wood and each piece is individually crafted.  The nurse does NOT put this puzzle out of the table for everyone to work on.  When she finds a patient who likes puzzles, she loans it out.  There are 550 pieces.  At first, I wasn't sure I would ever get it done--then maybe that I could find two matching pieces a day.  It occurred to me that I should have taken a picture when I started.  I didn't, but I did take a picture before I started working on it yesterday. 

Here are two pictures I took of the individual shapes:

Note the lovely nails.  Oh, no, this is about the puzzle.  Here are the pieces left in the box, waiting to find homes.

I started working on it yesterday when the Cal game started (Go Bears!).  I finished it sometime during the Oregon-USC game (Go Ducks!)

I am quite proud of myself.  Of course, now that I have finished it and photographed it and blogged about it, I can put it back in the box and take it back to the center for the next poor unsuspecting soul.

On the same subject of puzzles and the radiation oncology center, we've been working on the same puzzle for the two weeks that I've been going there this round.  I've started getting there early to work on the puzzle.  When I got there Friday, I discovered the meanest thing that anyone could do.  Someone had scrambled all the pieces, destroying the corporate work of several devoted fans.  There were several not very happy patients.  I separated out the border pieces and did as much as I could before they interrupted me with the actual reason I was there.  I stayed on for a while, trying to get it back together, but I remembered I that things to do.

One of those things was the marketing.  My niece, Victoria, was coming over for dinner and I was going to make drunk chicken.  Having made it last month for Elaine's non-visit, I was reminded how much fun it was to make and how good it is.  Victoria BARTed over since it is easier and the bay bridge is still broken.  We had a delightful visit.  Victoria was quite taken with the puzzle and helped me with it.
So that's it.  We had a treat at church today with a visit from former members who moved to Texas some 20 years ago.
I think I will go to radiation tomorrow.  10 down, 15 to go.
xxooxx

The Best Continued

Andrea flew home Tuesday, but Kris and Roz and I had another day. Kris picked me up at 9:30 and we went off to my radiation appointment. I was the navigator and I got us there, no problem. Kris takes directions well. After I got zapped, we filled her rental with gas and picked Roz up at the San Bruno BART station. We came up to my house to regroup, then we were off to Golden Gate Park. The drive in took a certain amount of flexibility, since the Great Highway was closed and we missed a turn or two. No problem, after a somewhat circuitous route we got to the parking lot for the Hall of Sciences. I took a picture of the new deYoung Museum, which we didn't visit this trip, but I have a picture of it anyway.

We did visit the Steinhart Aquarium and the Hall of Sciences. We failed to pick up a map on our way in, we sort of bumbled our way around. It didn't matter. We would have had fun in Walmart. We looked at the Swamp and saw the Albino Alligator, which Roz christened White Guy. The name stuck for us. Childhood memories were preserved by the fencing around the exhibit--a row of seahorses that they preserved from the old aquarium. We visited fishes in no particular order but enjoyed the pretty colors. We saw a little of the penguin feeding. We looked at the Rain Forest exhibit, but decided not to view it close up, as it entailed a three story walk up a ramp and neither Roz or I felt up to that. We took a couple of breaks for some rather indifferent food--we didn't find the better restaurant till we were about ready to leave. We did not die of starvation. There was a Mandrake grove that tickled Roz.

I took a picture of the two of them looking at the trees and the fishes then I had them turn around and look at me.

It wasn't the most scientifically laid out visit, but we had fun. We looked at the pendulum that we all remembered from childhood visits. We looked at the African Animal exhibit--most of what we saw we sort of stumbled upon by accident. We got maps on the way out. Next time we will go to the deYoung. It was far more important to be together and talking than where we were. The backdrop was a happy addition but not the purpose of the day.

We had to get Roz to a BART station by 5ish and Kris had an 8:00 PM flight out of San Jose. We hugged one another and we had group hugs and we told one another that we loved each other. Willie Shakespeare was right, parting was sweet sorrow. As with so many other things for me this year, it did not feel like good bye. It felt like something we need to repeat. All of our lives have been so very different than what we planned when we were 12, yet what has remained constant is our love for each other. Beneath the years are the same little girls who thought they were so very sophisticated--actually, we were pretty sophisticated. We had fun together then and we can have fun together now. Now it is sweeter for the various life lessons we've all had. If I didn't tell you often enough, I love you, my friends. I can not imagine two more perfect days.

Glenn took me to radiation today. Now I need to rest up from a week of excitement.

xxooxx