Happy Grandma Day and not Such Good News

Stress level has been pretty high since the last blog.  I started out with a delightful hour with Jenn Davis and her almost two yer old daughter.  I got to pat the impending baby, who, we found out on the 25th, will be a little brother.  He's due in the winter.  The time with my therapist was helpful, as was the next day with my Stephen Minister and the day after that with my oncologist.  It helps to have people to listen and it helps to talk.

I was going to take Glenn to a belated birthday lunch on the 25th, but I was really sick after physical therapy, so he got a rain check--or in this case, a puke check--I took zofran and a nap and didn't eat anything.  Monica came over in the afternoon and we did some talking about the elephant in the room.  Something has to be done.  My therapist, Mark the wonderful, doesn't really want me involved, but I can talk with Monica and Glenn and help to stratagize.  Monica needed to talk with her therapist, so the next conversation will be after that.  In the mean time, I had a date with Monica for the 27th to take her to Golden Gate Park--a place she wasn't the least bit familar with.  She asked if Becca and Ryan could come too.  My answer was absolutely!

So Wednesday morning, a little after 10, I went to the other grandmother's house and picked up a carfull of grandchildren.  I wanted to go by way of the ocean, but Great highway is still closed, so I had to drive around side streets till we got to Lincoln.  I got to start where I wanted.  First stop, the windmill.  The girls had not tols Ryan where we were going, so he was a little miffed, but when we got there, he was a happy camper.

We got out for the first stop.  Monica loves photography--all aspects of photography.  She takes wonderful pictures.  That said, I'm only showing you MY pictures, because it is MY blog.  Monica took many pictures--I took a few--at least at the windmill.



I had a sort of vague plan of what I wanted to show them for this first trip.  We piled back in the car and drove east.  The next stop was the Buffalo Paddock.  They are sort of mangy looking--I don't think I've ever seen the Golden Gate Park Buffalo when they weren't shedding, but hey, there are Buffalo--well,l Bison--in San Francisco.  Who cares how attractive they are.


 

The Buffalo Paddock is apparently also the Gopher Paddock, although the gophers are rather less well fenced.. 



Gopher House



Gopher checking things out





Gopher getting braver

 We decided to leave the questionable charms of Gopherville.  Back in the car.  The original plan was Stow Lake, but I missed the well marked turn.  We hung a U and started back, when right before our very eyes was a handicapped parking space right in front of the Rose Garden.  That was God saying "Park here for the rest of the day."  So we parked.  Monica, Ryan, and I went crazy taking pictures.  The one who likes having her picture taken the most took some with her Iphone.  Here are some of mine:

The Rose beds were somewhat past their prime, so finding good blossoms for close up shots was a challange.  Here's the group, halfway through the Rose Garden.

Becca's favorite color is purple, so we found purple roses for a backdrop for her:

After the roses, we crossed the road and started on our walk.  I still wanted to take them to Stow Lake, but it was almost lunch time, and the Japanese Tea Garden was handy, so we went east instead of west.  We didn't cover every inch of the garden, but we went through a great deal of it.  We stopped at the Tea House first.  Becca and I had Miso Soup, Monica and Ryan and sandwiches (well, we slared those), we all had cookies and a beverage--three teas and something exotic for Monica.

One of the really impressive features of the Tea Garden is the Bridge.  I climbed over the Bridge as a little girl, as a teenager, as a young girl in my twenties,  So here is Ryan on top of the Bridge:

Here's Becca, thinking about it:

This is what it looks like when you are ready to take it on:

I did it.  I climbed the Bridge.  Of course my thigh muscles are still sore from some of the stretches, but I did it.  Up and over.  It's easier when you are about eight.  But I did it!
After that, we'd pretty much done the Tea Garden, at least for this trip.  We went out, around the front of the Band Shell, and over to the Hall of Sciences.  The kids went through the Earthquake exhibit while I rested and caught up on the Giants game (they won, 3-0, thereby sweeping the Dodgers).  We went through the Rain Forest exhibit and then visited some of the fish.  The Planetarium show was sold out (I think that's called dodging a bullet), so we have to keep that for another trip.  We looked at the Pendulum for a while, but we weren't near the hour, so it would be a long wait to watch it knock over a peg.  We went to say hello to White Guy--White Guy has a real name, but I can't remember it and I do remember White Guy:

We paid a few obligatory gift shop visits, then headed back to the car.  It was by now around four.  It had been a long day, but an incredibly beautiful one.  I include this last picture, not because it is such a great picture of the back of the deYoung Museum, but it shows how clear the sky was on an unbelieble San Francisco Summer Afternoon.

Back into the car, headed for home.  This time, I saw the Stow Lake sign, so I drove around it, just to give them a hint of the next trip.  I dropped off three very tired grandchildren.  I rewarded myself with a stop at the donut shop on the way home.  I was pretty tired too.

I had to get up at 5:30 Thursday morning to have my breakfast eaten before six--cenreal with milk and blueberries and V-8 juice--no coffee.  I went back to sleep for about an hour, jumped into my clothes, and left for Mills Hospital by 7:30.  Crystal Springs Road is still closed for repair, so once again, I had to use a circuituous route.  I got to Radiology by 8, got my contrast beverage to drink--three cups over 40 minutes, got the scan--with IV contrast--and was on my home well before 10.  I slept from 11 to 3, then 4:30 to 7.  Watched the Giants win again, and slept some more.  I wasn't as tired today.  I knit--almost finished Monica's Sunset Print socks--and I read.  Dr. Chee called me around 5.  The scan was not good.  So much for Gemzar.  The new chemo (this will be #6) is a 28 day cycle, with infusions on days 1, 8, and 15, and a check up on day 22.  Because I have my reservation for Sonoma starting the 10th, I get to hold off till the 17th.  This is good.  I'll have my spa time and my birthday feeling reasonably well.  Victoria's baby is ready to be born any day, so maybe I'll even see my new great niece feeling good.  Actually, I think anytime I see my great niece I will feel good--babies just put out this great vibe.
So that's it--more twisty paths for this journey of ours.  Thank you for hanging with me.  I know there are several of you out there who follow my story.  Feel free to comment--even if it's just to say "Hi!"  I know you are praying for me, I do feel that warm blanket.  I'm feeling pretty good, which just means that the pain is well controlled.  I get occassional twinges, but I have stuff for that.  Dr. Chee says the new stuff will make me tired.  Good thing I did the Bridge on Wednesday.  I can deal with tired.
I just spell-checked today's epistle.  Either it's broken or I've learned to spell in my old age!
xxooxx

Chemo 5.5.2 and Glenn's Birthday

I see it's another of those catch up blogs.  Just remember, if there's no blog, it probably means I haven't done much.  I'll try to catch up.
I was supposed to have chemo May 29.  Platelets were low, so I didn't. I saw my primary care doctor on the first.  She started me on a new anti-depressant.  It has one little side effect--severe nausea.   I have drugs for that too.  She also sent my to physical therapy, thinking that the breathing problem has something to do with my chest muscles.  so I go once a week now.  I have exercises and get my back and neck massaged.  Not bad.
I had a little dinner party for Dory on June 4.  Her birthday is the 10ty, but she was going to be out of town.  We had salad and French Onion Soup--and birthday cake.  The 5th was the postponed chemo.  For the first time, it started hurting as soon as it got in.  Because I've been flunking my day 8 blood test on a pretty regular basis, Dr. Chee lowered my chemo dose and put me on day 1 and day 15.  It works out to every other week now.  I had a gollow up with my PCP on the 6th.  She kept me on the new drug, even with the nausea and took me off prozac.  I've been taking that for almost 10 years.  Coming off of it has been ok.
Glenn went on vacation for a week, leaving on the 7th.  I asked him who would take me to the hospital in the middle of the night.  He asked if I was planning on going--I told him no, but I didn't plan on it the last few times either.  I managed just fine.  My sister came up on the 9th.  We went to a shower for Victoria on the 10th.  The baby is due in four weeks--excitement is building.  Victoria looks great.  She got her EDD from Davis on the 13th,  We're very proud of her.  Gretchen and I went to see Madascar 3 and The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel on Monday.  Both great movies.
Say Cardiologist #1 on the 15th--all is well.  I've somehow lost an inch in height and 10 pounds.  Happy about the pounds--not so much about the height.
Today It's 3 minutes to Wednesday as I type) was chemo 5.2.  It was also Glenn's birthday.  We were going to take things easy because of the chemo, but Elaine wanted to come over to celebrate.  She wasn't feeling well and we should have kept with the original plan.  It was an evening of drama that I'd just rather not blog about.  I'm bery happy that I see my therapist tomorrow.  Enough said.
I'm going to have a visitor in the morning.  One of my favorite Job's Daughters, Jenn Neal Davis is in town and will come by with her little girl before i leave to see the therapist.  That will be a very pleasant time.
That's it.  You're caught up.  I'll try to lead a more interesting life.  I'm still working my way through the boxes of yarn.  I gave Becca her latest pair of socks tonight and I started sock 2 of the next pair.  The yarn is called Gingerbread, and it is one of the prettiest I've worked with so far.  Now that's it.
xxooxx

Catching up--yet again

I haven't blogged for a while, but I've been busy--or not feeling good.  Mother's Day Eve I ran a temp of 100 and my lungs hurt, so off we were to the ER--after the Giants won their game.  I do have my priorities.  Everything was tested.  Once again, it wasn't a heart attack, wasn't a clot, wasn't pneumonia or asthma.  It wasn't anything that was going to kill me, so we were sent home around midnight, after blood tests, chest x-ray, and CT scan.  Apparently the cancer makes my blood tests look like I have a clot, hence the scan.  The fever went away on its own.  I was only worried about the reservation at the Ahwahnee for Monday.  The ER doctor wanted me to check with my cardiologist before I went to the mountains.
Mother's Day was quiet.  Elaine had an infection in her jaw andMark wouldn't let her leave the house--good call.  Monica and Rebecca came over and we hung out for the afternoon.  I made Tomato Soup and grilled cheese sandwiches--serious comfort food.  Dory and I kept checking on our packing status.  I was going to Yosemite.  I did check with Dr. Zipkin Monday morning and got the OK before we were on the San Mateo Bridge.  I was still restricted from driving.  Bless Dory, she was happy to drive and I got a lot of knitting done.

We had lunch about half-way to Yosemite--good resting point.  Then it was "Are we there yet?"  It was a beautiful drive.  Weather was perfect.  I never put on a coat the whole time we were gone.  We FINALLY got to the hotel, and waiting to greet us was Steve, my very favorite Bellman.  I like most of the guys there, but Steve has been my favorite for over 20 years.  Steve made sure that the General Manager welcomed us--that was pretty cool.  He didn't think much of our room, so told us not too unpack too much--he'd see what he could do about moving us the next day.  I sure love being taken care of.  We got a room with a better view

We could see the falls and Steve's favorite Dogwood Tree was right outside out window.

Tuesday was a rest-all-day day.  My lungs still hurt.  We rode the Shuttle and did some shopping.

This was always Lee's favorite tree, in front of the Village Store.

We had dinner at the Ahwahnee Dining Room because we didn't want to take the bus to the Lodge and we got a reservation at a reasonable time.

Wednesday we were ready for some exercise.  We went to Happy Isles--Dory's favorite walk.

I try to go to Yosemite in Mid May because school is still in session, there's usually lots of water in the falls, and the Dogwood is in blossom.  Here's lots of Dogwood.

After Happy Isles, we took the Shuttle to Lower Yosemite Falls.  Dory wasn't sure two walks was a good idea, but I was pretty sure we could do it.  We were planning on dinner at the Lodge, and it just didn't make sense to go back to the room for about five minutes and then take the bus to dinner.  We rested lots on the trail.  It's a pretty walk and not at all strenuous--well, not for normal people.  It got colder and louder and windier as we got to the falls.  There was LOTS of water.

And some wildlife:

I sort of gave Dory the option of walking back to the Lower Falls stop or just crossing the road and walking to the Mountain Room--it was probably the same distance...sort of...  We were ready to stop when we got to the restaurant.  Prime Rib--yum.
Thursday, we were a little stiff.  Decided that the two mile walk to and from Mirror Lake was not a good idea.  So we took the bus to Sentinel Bridge and walked to the Chapel.  Dory had never been there, and I really wanted to Thank God for keeping me alive to visit His house.  God is everywhere, but his voting address in in Yosemite.  So here are the pictures from the bus stop and the necessary :I don't need another picture of Half Dome" pictures:

We ate at the Ahwahnee Dining Room again--just too tired to go back to the Lodge, and we did have a reservation. 
Friday was get away day.  It was a beautiful drive, up 120 and over Tioga Pass.  I should have taken pictures, but didn't, to show how little snow there was the middle of May.  This was one of the earliest times the pass has been open for the summer.  It was our gain, because that meant we got to go home by way of Reno--it is kind of like Yosemite is on the way home from Fresno--you take 41 and run smack into it.  If you take Tioga and turn left on 395--same thing--you run smack into Reno.  It wasn't as profitable as our last trip, but we had fun.  Dory is a great traveling buddy.  She's so easy to get along with and the same things strike us funny.  We spent three nights at the Silver Legacy, then, as is our custom, we leave before breakfast and go to Boomtown for breakfast and slots.  We figured how long it would take go get home, missing commute traffic in both Sacramento and the Bay Area.  I called Glenn about 3:30 as we were getting gas, to let him know we'd be home around 9--he said he'd be home around 11--he was working on his day off.  WELL, that settled that--we didn't have to be home until 11, back to the casino and the slots and more fun.  We stopped at Burger King for a chicken sandwich and a shake and pulled into the driveway just, and I do mean just, ahead of Glenn.  Bless my beast of burden.  He carried everything upstairs when he was really tired from working all day.
Tuesday was Mark, and driving on my own.  Once again, down to BART and downtown.  I had a little PTSD getting off the train.  There were lots of people and trains were going each direction, but I made it.  One escalator was out of service, so I had to take an alternate route, but that was doable.  Mark's schedule is changing, so I will change to Wednesdays--that's actually more convenient for my hair appointments.  Josie doesn't work on Tuesdays.  Now all I have to do is change my appointment for June 20 and life will be grand.
Tuesday afternoon was back to my chemo schedule.  That was not without entertainment.  Their blood count machine broke and they were having to send people to the hospital for their lab work.  I didn't get the message, but I haven't had chemo for over a month and my count was good two weeks ago, so we just went for it--after keeping me waiting about half an hour.  Then it took forever to access my port.  I think they had to use five or six needles till they got blood return and I finally got my pre-meds and the Gemzar.  Haven't felt really good since then, but this will pass.  I had my teeth cleaning appointment on Thursday--checked with the oncologist--light cleaning and don't go below the gum line--cancer effects everything.  No cavities, so maybe there is something to this brushing and flossing.
I've been knitting, working on things for my niece, whose baby is due in July.  I won't post pictures till after her shower to keep it a surprise.  I'm almost ready to go back to socks--and I used one skein from the Yarn Cave!  Of course, I am lusting after new stuff, but I'm trying to get the stuff that needs doing finished.
I have chemo again on Tuesday.  It will be the first time I've had the full cycle since February.  Maybe I shouldn't jinx it.
That's my news.
xxooxx

Houseful of Visitors

I had outing number 2 on Monday--a quick trip to my Dentist's office to pick up my new bite splint.  Not a problem, no anxiety.  Had nothing scheduled for Tuesday.  Glenn went to see his friend in Berkeley--only fair since he's been taking care of me for a week.  I get lonely when I'm by myself (this is new since the pacemaker), so Dory came over for a while.  Today I had lots of company.  The Visiting Nurse came in the morning.  Elaine, Monica, and Becca came over in the early afternoon, just before Glenn left for work.  The Home Health Aide.  She washed my hair and gave me a bath.  Clean hair is wonderful, especially when you have one wing under house arrest and no one has told you whether or not you can take a shower.
After I got all sweet and pure (family joke, my Mother is laughing at that), the physical therapist came to assess me and give me exercises to do.  And yes, Gretchen, I'll do them.

Around and about all this, Elaine and the girls and I went through some family papers.  I tried my hand at scanning and did pretty well--here's the first attempt:

This is the generations picture.  The fine looking gentleman is my Great Grandfather, Edward Lee Hall.  Seated next to Grandpa Hall is Grandma Hall,, Ida May Curns.  Gretchen Gabrielle Clark is sitting on Grandpa Hall's lap and Grandma Hall has me.  Behind Grandpa Hall is my Gay, my grandmother, full name Gabrielle Lee Hall Kant, who, at the time this picture was taken was about seven or eight years younger than I am now.  The remaining beautiful lady is our Mother.  When I feel better, that is, when I can drive again, I'm going to have to see about a frame for this.  It is too precious to leave lying about.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my primary care physician.  Dr. Kubin would have seen me in the hospital--every day--and maybe he was looking down from heaven, keeping me alive.  I know there were a ton of angels doing that very thing.  I'm healing.  The incision still hurts a lot--if you touch it, if you look at it.  Best get to sleep.  Granddaughter Monica is picking me up in the morning.

xxooxx

First Outing

I had a ride arranged for church (thank you, Deacon Donna), so I got up, had breakfast, figured out how to get into clothes--pantyhose didn't happen, but I had my compression hose on.  The God I believe in didn't care if I had on pantyhose or not.  I have to select clothes carefully, since I can't raise my left arm above my shoulder.  I'm used to throwing my dresses over my head and pulling them down--take them off the same way.  Not going to happen for the next few weeks.
Just noticed this didn't get finished (started on Sunday, it's now 11:30 Monday night).  I'll try to remember what I wrote last night.  Ally helped me get dressed for church.  I got a little nervous--did the incision look red?  Was it hot?  I've been through wound infections before and I don't want to do that again.  Donna picked me up on time.  She said I was shaking--wondered if I wanted to go to the hospital.  No, I did not.  We got to church and Donna did her Head Usher duties.  I took deep breaths, practicing what Laura taught me.  I did have one of the church nurses check my pulse, which she declared fine.  She got me seated and asked Roxane to sit next to me and keep an eye on me.  Bless her, Rox took care of me like a mother hen.  In retrospect, I think it was just anxiety over the first outing.  I made it through most of the service.  Our custom is to wait and listen to the postlude--HAD to use the restroom, so that's when we left early.  I was pretty calm by the end of the service.  Had outing number two today, to the dentist to pick up my new bite splint--not a problem.  Of course, that meant that I had to get dressed.  I don't have anything scheduled till Thursday--think I'll stay in my jammies till then.
I'm still a little anxious, but from everything I've read and heard, that is completely normal.  The incision still hurts, but the rest of me feels pretty good.  I'm breathing easier than I have in a long time.  One day at a time, as they say, one day at a time--or even one minute at a time.
There, I think I'm caught up--probably not as good as what I wrote last night, but there you are.
xxooxx

That's Something I Didn't Expect

I will be very happy to go back to my boring little life, thank you.  I've had an overly exciting few days and my life has changed again.
So here's the story.  I had a transfusion a few weeks ago.  Transfusions usually give me more energy, but this one didn't.  My numbers were good when I had chemo, but I was still terribly tired.  This last Tuesday, I was tireder than usual, and short of breath in a different way than usual.  But it was a Mark day, so I got dressed, drove to the BART station, and went downtown.  When I got off the train at Montgomery, the escalator looked like it was miles away.  I got there, but it took a while, and I had to stop and lean on a few pillars.  Walked the half block to Mark's office, sometimes leaning on the buildings for support.  When Mark came out to get me, he said "What are you doing here?"  I said it was a Mark day.  When I got settled in the office, he asked if I wanted to go home--"not for 50 minutes," I said.  He asked how I was going to get home, and I said BART.  He said that wasn't a really good idea--was there anyone who could pick me up?  I caved and called Glenn, who said of course.  So we talked, which is what we do.  At the end of our session, I collected my hug.  Mark asked if I would be all right going downstairs--of course I would--then proceeded to gasp in a whole new way.  Glenn and I took a little time finding each other, but we did and he drove home.  I started gasping again, and he asked if he should just take me to emergency.  I really, really had to use the bathroom, so I had him call the Cancer center--it was a chemo afternoon.  They told him to get me to the hospital.  Now the fun begins.  I got into my coat and started out.  At the top of the stairs, I knew that wasn't going to happen, and dropped to my knees--at least that was the plan.  Ally will have to tell you what happened next--she was right behind me.  I passed out.  I came to with her telling me she needed me to take some deep breaths while I heard Glenn on the phone calling 911.  I heard him say dire emergency.  He hung up and we heard the sirens--they being two blocks away.  There followed a house full of paramedics, eventually getting me out of the house and into the ambulance.  It seemed a long and involved process.  I thought I could get myself out of the house, and they said "not with what your heart is doing."  Did I mention I was scared.
Anyway, they got me to emergency, trying their darnedest to get an IV going.  I have tiny veins and they roll.  I now have several bruises from the tourniquets and attempts to start the IV.  I think they finally succeeded.  I don't honestly remember too much of the time in emergency.  I met a new cardiologist (for me, that is) and a new Hospitalist.  I was admitted and taken to the ICU.  I think this whole process took two hours--but as I said, I really don't remember.  Glenn, Ally, and Dory were there.  The reason for admission, according to my discharge papers, was "3 degree AV Block."  My heart rate was jumping all over the map, but mostly in the 30's.  They put me on a medicine that was supposed to speed up my heart rate.  I didn't like it.  It made me nauseous and made my heart pound.  I kept hearing people say "pacemaker."
Fast forward to Wednesday.  I had a nurse who wasn't a regular ICU nurse.  I didn't realize that was a problem.  I needed to use the restroom, once again.  She got a bedside camode, because that was all the further my wires and tubes would let me go.  I proceeded to take care of business then tried to pass out again.  There were suddenly about 10 regular ICU nurses in the room.  I got back into bed myself (for which I'm sure they were all grateful), then went in and out of consciousness.  I DID hear someone say "We're losing her!" and hear them talking about crash carts and paddles.  Fortunately, I converted to a sinus rhythm on my own.  The cardiologist has now been summoned.  He determines that it was a bad reaction to the medication, which they stopped, and put me on an external pacemaker.  We then had a discussion about how much I needed one, immediately.  Fortunately, it was already scheduled--for 10 o'clock and it was by now about 9:15.  I figured I could wait that long, but not much longer.
It was actually 12:15 when they took me to the Cath Lab for the procedure.  By then I had talked to the doctor who was going to do the procedure and one of the oncologists from my group--and my Pastor.
Getting ready for the procedure took forever.  It was done with a local and light sedation--which because of the meds I take for the cancer--meant I was awake for the whole thing.  I could feel pushing and pulling as the wires were fed through my vein into my heart.  It was uncomfortable, but the worst was my back.  I was lying on a frozen slab with my legs and back flat against it.  The procedure took about two hours and my back was screaming.  I was taken to a room in the TCU, or ICU Step-Down.  Now here's the miracle.  Except for my back, which took a long time to calm down, I felt better.  Much better.  I spent Wednesday night and most of Thursday in the TCU.  Elaine badgered all my doctors to keep me another night.  I was transferred to a regular Medsurg room. and came home after Glenn got off work this afternoon.  I am feeling much better.  I have some restrictions while the incision heals, like not using my left arm--it's in a sling to keep my from doing anything foolish.
That's the gist of it, and it is past my bedtime, but I wanted to get this done while it is fresh in my mind.  I am grateful to have survived.  God has blessed me with amazing friends and excellent health care providers.  It was not how I'd planned on spending the week, but there you are.  I'm good for a while longer, and I'm glad.
xxooxx

Oops

Gretchen and Kris have both reminded me that I haven't blogged in a while.  That usually means that nothing much has been going on.  When I left off last month, Ally had just come home--from her first hospital visit--she had two more before Easter.  She was one sick little girl, but is now, finally, on the mend.  She has a job and things are looking up for her.
I'm doing all right.  My legs were wrapped for about a month.  My custom made compression stockings came in last week.  I've been wearing them since Monday and they seem to be working--enough so that I ordered two more pair so that I can wash them and still have something to wear.
The cellulitis finally cleared up and I got back on my chemo schedule.  I never seem to react to this one the same way, so it is always a surprise.  I got a transfusion a week ago Wednesday--that would explain why I had been very tired.  I didn't come out of this one as peppy as on previous times, but my blood count was good enough for my last chemo that I didn't need a Procrit shot.  That was a good thing.  They hurt.
So I really haven't done much the in the last month.  I finished some knitting projects--good thing since one of Glenn's do-workers just became a grandfather and another one became an uncle.  Two little girl gifts were delivered.
It is baseball season again, so my television viewing schedule once again includes as many Giants games as possible.  They do like to keep my blood pressure jumping. 
I told you things had been boring.  I'm looking forward to a Yosemite trip next month--maybe I can squeeze in a paragraph or two before then.  Otherwise, I'm still above ground and doing reasonably well--unless you count the not feeling too well after last Tuesday's chemo...
xxooxx