Advent 2012

I haven't done much because I'm tired all the time.  Well, that's not quite right.  I've done lots of knitting--not enough, because the yarn in the yarn cave is breeding.  Monica came over for an afternoon a couple of weeks ago.  We made a quick trip to get Glenn's Christmas present then just hung out at the house.
I went to a Masonic installation in Alameda on the 8th.  My former boss, Steve, was installed Senior Deacon.  I've been following his career in the line, because I got him into Masonry.  He had wanted to join for a while.  It took me some time to get someone in the East Bay to get in touch with him, but I did it.  I'd like to be around when he is installed Master--that's three more years.  We'll see.  Outside of the exhaustion, I'm doing pretty well.  I'm not in much pain at all.  I have a CT scan on Boxing Day and a follow-up appointment on New Year's Eve.  That will tell me how I'm doing.
I've had tons of appointments--sometimes that's how I tell what day it is--by what doctor I'm seeing.  I actually forgot a couple of appointments.  Now I study the calendar carefully to make sure I know who I'm seeing and what time I'm seeing them.  I didn't get my sixth Avastin infusion because my blood pressure was too high.  That gives me two extra weeks t recover from all the chemo I've had this year.  That's actually the only excuse they can find for my exhaustion.  My heart's fine, lungs are fine, blood count is fine.  Half a flight of stairs and I'm gasping for breath.  It's annoying, because I really like to walk.  The friend who has been driving me downtown for my haircuts moved to Oregon the beginning of the month.  I thought about taking BART downtown, but I know I can't walk from the Montgomery station to Union Square.  I drove myself and parked in the Union Square garage.  By the time I got to the salon, I was fighting for breath--about half a block.  Outside of the one little trip with Monica, I did no Christmas shopping.
Glenn and I got our Christmas tree on the 17th--just after I didn't have Avastin.  We found a tiny space when it wasn't raining.  Getting the tree usually takes much thought.  This year we went into the lot, looked at maybe two trees and picked out one we liked.  We looked at a few others, just to make sure, but it was a great tree.  We had them put on a stand that holds water--that we may or may not remember to fill from time to time, threw it on the truck, stopped at the pharmacy to pick up my new blood pressure medicine, and came home.  God bless Glenn, he's such a prince.  It was a struggle for him to get the tree in the house, but he did it.  I did most of the tree trimming-the first time I've done my own tree since 2006.  I had knee surgery in the beginning of December 07 and got some of the kids from church to trim it for me.  08 was the year Al Sweetman kidnapped Glenn to get a tree--see the blog about that and the Bethany Elves that did the trimming.  Granddaughters have trimmed it the last few years.  I was pretty proud of myself.  Here's the finished product:

We're happy with it.  Ally helped me a little, but I had most of it done before she got home.  She and her brother have gone to Oregon to spend Christmas with their sister.
Last Sunday we planned a memorial for the church members we've lost this year.  It worked out well as we also used it as a memorial for the teachers and children who were killed in Connecticut.  I played the theme from Schindler's list while people lit candles in memory of the people they had lost.
It being December, I'm also lay reader.  I signed up for next December, too, and hope and pray that I'll be alive to do it.
So that's it.  Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.  I will read from the King James version of the Bible.  The language is so beautiful and so familiar.  Glenn and I are going to Victoria's for Christmas dinner.  It will be delightful to enjoy Iris's first Christmas.
xxooxx

Sneaking in on the end of the Month

I think there was a time when I blogged every day.  I think that's ancient history.
There was Jennifer's installation on the 11th.  it was a very long day.  I had to get to Antioch early because they have a Veteran's Day parade down the main street--and that would be where the Masonic Temple is.  I got a good spot on a side street and knit until the temple was opened  We had installation practice, then I knit until it was time to change for the installation.  It was nice, as installations go.  The retiring Worthy Matron was quite old and feeble, but when it came to Ritual, she was top notch.  After seeing so many people read their work, it was really nice to hear it done well--and done from memory.
I left shortly after the installation was over.  It was already getting dark, and it had been a long day.  I got home a little after six--in time to catch a showing of The Return of the King.  I cried buckets.  I was supposed to be packing, too, because I was finally going to Sonoma.  I managed to throw everything together.  I made great time and made it there in plenty of time for my first treatment.  I was there four nights and five days.  That's a lot of pampering and loving.  I've been trying to get back there since July with no luck.  They still have my "Welcome Back, Anne" sign, which tickles me.  I wonder if the other guests wonder "Who's Anne, and why does she get a sign," but I don't care.  I love them, they love me, life is good.
I got home in time to cook the turkeys for our annual church Thanksgiving Dinner.  I had a lot of help and mostly just directed.  My math was a little off, so I way over seasoned the stuffing, but other than that, things were good.  I love filling the church with the smells of Thanksgiving.
Glenn and I postponed our celebration so we could have guests.  We ordered Chinese on Thursday.  Our preferred restaurant was closed, which is a good thing for them.  The food wasn't bad, just not as good as it could have been.  We had our celebration on Saturday.  Monica came over in the morning and helped me get the bird ready.  She hung out for the afternoon and let me take a much needed nap.  Ally joined us, as well as my friends Janis and Sam, who are moving to Oregon next month.  A delightful time was had by all.  I should entertain more.  I have lovely things and I like using them.  Of course, entertaining takes work, which takes energy, and I'm short on that.  I had a treatment Monday, have a doctor appointment this afternoon, and an echocardigram tomorrow--to see if that explains the lack of energy.  Elaine is having surgery on her neck tomorrow, but I don't have the necessary information, like where and what time.  I'm torn.  I should be there, but at the same time, I don't know how she would fee about it.  I'll keep the cardiology appointment.
That's it.  Hasn't been terribly exciting, but I'm still above ground, so that's a good thing.
xxooxx

More Catching Up

It's hard to keep up when you are on the road--then recovering from being on the road.  October 15, I had my third round of Avastin and a Vitamin B-12 shot, hoping to get some energy.  It didn't seem to do much good.  Anyway, Tuesday, Dory and I were off to Fresno.  She did all the driving. bless her.  I could have helped out, but she didn't need me to, so I didn't.  Getting registered at the hotel for Grand Chapter is always a bit of a trial.  Somehow, the hotel never knows that there are going to have a zillion people checking in all at the same time, all with tons of stuff, all needing assistance with their stuff.  It tends to bring out the very worst side of people.  I'm pretty patient, as long as I have my knitting to entertain me.  Eventually, we snagged a bellman and got to our room--about as far away from the elevator as we could get.  OK, I would just take a few extra stops on the way to the convention center.  We had a phone call from the hotel, asking us if everything was all right.  I mentioned the distance from the elevator.  Not to worry, they arranged to move us and sent up a bellman who took us to another room--right across from the elevator.  Points in their favor.
We managed a lot of baseball watching and were not disappointed.  Throughout our vacation, the Giants managed to win it all and keep things very exciting.  Somehow, we managed to see most of it.
This was my 31st Grand Chapter.  It is good to see friends from throughout the state.  It was exhausting because of my lack of stamina.  I would walk a little, start gasping for air, rest, then walk a little more. This meant that I gave myself extra time to get anywhere.  Saturday afternoon was Big Game--in the way wrong time of the year.  I skipped a session and watched the game--which was dreadful.
Installation Saturday night was impressive--mostly because it wasn't overly long.  The new Worthy Grand Matron is from our area, and we were very proud of her.  We were tucked in bed before midnight--when the hotel started shaking.  It seemed to go on for a very long time.  It took a while to get connected to the USGS.  The earthquake was located near King City and it was 5.3 at 11:55 PM.  There was an aftershock at 12:18--we didn't feel that one.  Dory doesn't like earthquakes.  I can't say that I do either, but once it stopped and everything was fine, I was OK with it.
Sunday morning was good, because we didn't have the alarm set.  We were only going to Yosemite, and that's pretty close.  Yosemite was great.  It wasn't too crowded.  There was no water in the falls.  That was fine, because I couldn't walk that far anyway.  Mostly, we rested and watched baseball.  We had a view of Half Dome, so we really didn't need to leave the room.  I took pictures of the many moods of Half Dome.  Here are some:

All taken from the same window.
I felt dreadful the morning we left--really dreadful.  I barely touched my breakfast.  We debated on whether or not we should stop in at the medical clinic--eventually voted no.  We had a long way to go.  We usually take Tioga Pass to 395 and north to Reno, but the pass closed on Sunday and had no intentions of reopening.  So we took the long way--southwest to Merced, north to Sacramento, and east to Reno over Donner Summit.  There was a lot of snow over the summit.  It wasn't falling or on the road, but there was a lot of snow.  The external temperature got down to around 34.  We got to Reno around six.  We had a great time.  Dory did better than I did.  She kept finding machines that were paying off.  We finally had to start for home on Monday, because I had a CT scan on Tuesday.  We leave before breakfast, drive to Boomtown, have breakfast and play there.  We really have fun in Boomtown.  We're thinking of changing our routine and spending our last night there.  We had a little excitement when my foot slipped off the rung of a stool I was about to sit on and I did a face plant on the floor.  Nothing was broken or bleeding, but my dignity was badly bruised.  Two ladies helped me up.  I felt a little wobbly and very silly.  I told Dory about it and she turned me in to the management, who were all very solisitious.  No, I didn't want to go to emergency.  Yes, I was fine.  No, I was not going to sue the casino.  I did feel pretty sore the rest of the week and I've got a bruise on my left knee--which isn't the one that hurts.
CT scan on Tuesday--Glenn took me down because my battery was dead after sitting around for two weeks.  Wednesday was the ophthalmologist--eyes have actually improved in the last year. Thursday I saw Dr. Chee, my oncologist, and got the results of the scan.  I'm stable.  She thinks the exhaustion is the result of all the chemo I've had.  I had the option of stopping treatment.  While getting a little stamina back is appealing, if the treatment is working, I'll keep going with it.  If things get too dreadful, I can always get a wheelchair or scooter--or just continue to walk very slowly and rest a lot.
Yesterday was a haircut.  My appointment was scheduled for Wednesday afternoon, but that was the Giant's World Series Parade, and I got caught up in that two years ago--also for a hair appointment.  There was no way I was going to do that again.
Things are getting back to normal.  I have minutes to type and reports to do for the Chapter and a speech to write for an installation on the 11th.  I guess I'll get it all done.
I think things are caught up here.
xxooxx

Not much going on

It has cooled off since the last post.  Looks like it will be cool when we get to Yosemite, but Tioga should still be open in two weeks to go to Reno.  I haven't done much.  I've gotten rid of piles of trash--not enough, but I'm making headway.  I had my flu short, so people can breathe on me at Grand Chapter.
We had a special meeting last week and initiated three new members.  There's a fourth who couldn't make it, and one of the new members had me send her petitions for her husband and daughter.  Yippee!
The Giants are keeping us excited, as are the Oakland A's.  Both teams made the post season, both teams lost their first two games, and both teams squeeked out wins today.  they have to win the next two games to keep things going.
I'm still tired most of the time.  I'm not in much pain--just gasping for breath.
Sunday was Worldwide Communion Day.  I played the prelude--Bach's Sheep May Safely Graze and Du Bist Bei Mir, and for communion--Samuel Barber's Adagio and Handel's Where 'Ere you Walk.  It didn't go too badly.  I haven't touched my violin since the Ceili in March, so I was a little aprehensive when I was asked to play.  I was a little worried about the placement of my pacemaker, but it didn't bother me.  I also read the scripture in German.  My high school and college German teachers were probably rolling over in their graves--I know at least one of them is dead.  It was quite an experience.  My voice comes and goes.  It bothers me when it's time to sing.
That's about it.  Dory and I are leaving for Grand Chapter a week from today, so i guess I'm going to have to start packing.  We take two sets of clothes--one for Grand Chapter, and one for Yosemite.  I don't think there's going to be a great deal of hiking, but we can just sit and look and enjoy.
Go Giants.  Go As.  Life is grand.
xxooxx

34 years ago

It's way too hot today--somewhere around a gazillion degrees.  34 years ago, Lee and I were on our honeymoon in Banff.  It was not hot.  Mother bought me a coat the afternoon of our wedding when she realized that I was going to Canada without one in October.  It took us a little longer to get to Banff than we had planned.  I think we had the world's worst travel agent planning our trip.  The plan was to vly to Vancouver and then take the train to Banff.  Our reservation was for a sleeper car.  things would have been just fine, except our plane was two hours late leaving San Francisco.  We landed when the train left.  I was a mature married woman--I burst into tears and didn't know what to do.  Everybody was so nice.  They said not to worry.  We could stay at one of the airport hotels then fly to Calgery in the morning.  We could take a bus from the airport to the Banff Springs and everything would work out just fine.  We could get a refund on our train trip when we got home. 
So we stayed at a lovely Hyatt at the airport.  Everyone knew our sad story.  We were presented with a cake for desert.  Everything worked out just fine the next day.  I did most of our travel planning after that.  And it was much colder in Canada than it is here today.
So, here I am, using my new computer.  I'm not sure that I'm crazy about it, but it is a lot faster than the old one.  It is taking some getting used to.  I'm clearing out stuff--not enough, but clearing out all the same.  On Sunday, my wedding anniversary, I looked through my wedding book.  I was a lot younger.  I'll try to put together another bag of junk for next week's garbage run.
Lee Denny sent me the book she put together about her sister, Gail (see August 09 on the Joys of Pack Ratting).  It is thoroughy charming.  Gail and Lee were lovely little girls.  Gail has been gone for 16 years.
I'm chugging along.  I had my second Avastin treatment last Tuesday.  I have a follow-up with the Nurse Practitioner in a week and my thire treatment two weeks from today--then it's off to Grand Chapter.  I'm trying to build up my stamina so that I can get back and forth fro the hotel to the convention center--then for when we get to Yosemite--more energy needed.
That's about it for now--need my beauty rest.
xxooxx

Not a Happy Girl

In the immortal words of Gilda Radner, It's always something.  The current something is a dead desktop computer.  I got up yesterday morning, and the power to the tower (kinda poetic) was off.  And it wouldn't go on.  I tried messing with the cords--no luck.  It's just dead.  It's probably time to get a new one, because I think I got this one before Lee died, so that's over five years.  Tomorrow is one of Glenn's days off, so he will schlep it to Best Buy for me.  We'll find something I like and have them transfer my data to the new one.  Meanwhile, I'm using the laptop, which is very slow and not at all my favorite thing to play with.
There is good news--the Giants won their division, and that was very exciting.  The Bears did quite poorly.  I'm used to the Golden Bears doing poorly, but that doesn't mean I like it.  I finished a difficult pattern pair of socks--well, almost finished.  I finished the second sock, then I had to take out the toe of the first sock because I didn't make it quite long enough.  I have to do another pattern repeat then do the toe again--then I'll be done with that.  I don't know who will get them, but at least I'll be done.  The next thing will be a pair of socks that I started in the Skilled Nursing Facility when I was getting antibiotocs for the cellulitis in March, THEN I can start something new.  I also finished a baby bunting that I started probably a few years ago--that was exciting.  I'm not even sure I know where the pattern is for it, so I hope I did it right.
I'm feeling OK.  Still pretty tired, but not hurting.  Maybe Glenn and I can squeeze in a walk tomorrow, just to see if I can do it.
That's it.  Maybe I'm a slightly happy girl after all.  We'll see after we visit the computer store tomorrow.
xxooxx

Trying to make the world smaller

I'm hoping Lee will take one more look at my little blog, because I would like to carry on this conversatison.  My e-mail is aecarlsn@pacbell.net. I might get strange, random, messages, or I might bet a message from a double bass player from Willard and BHS.  I am sorry you lost your husband, sorrier still what you lost him to.  When I was on the Speaker's Bureau at BHS, and it was time for us to make our pitch for the American Cancer Society, the statistic they gave us was 1 in 3 will develop cancer.  That was in the 60's.  I don't think it has changed.  For some, the journey is too swift, and for others, it seems to go on forever.  I have a friend who has been fighting for well over 20 years.  My journey is 4 1/2 years and still swinging.  There are some things I want to make it to, and at other times, I just want to cross my arms over my chest and hold a lily--those times are few and far between, but I get tired of being tired.  Then I look at my stash of yarn and realize that I have too much to do to go right now.
Hope this works.  And if you random people want to touch base, that's OK too.
xxooxx