More somethings

Whether to catch you up or start with today's anniversary. I guess I'll go with today then go backwards. I'm big on dates--guess that's why I majored in history. Our mother died 17 years ago today. I pretty much have total recall of the day, down to what I was wearing. Losing my mom was the hardest thing I've ever done--and there has been some really hard stuff lately. I still miss my mom. She could drive me crazy in short order, but I miss her driving me crazy. So, happy seventeenth birthday in heaven, Mother. I've gotten to the point that I can think about her and that day without tearing up. It took a long time to get there. Now I remember the good stuff--a little of the craziness, but mostly the good stuff.
Now--for yesterday. I got to the hospital bright and early and had my sonogram with time to get to church. Wait just a minute. Since the ER ordered the sonogram, I had to check out through the ER. The sonogram lady did tell me that I didn't have gall stones, so I figured that is what the doctor would tell me and I would be on my way. I sat in the waiting room and did what that room is for--waited. Next thing I knew, the medical screening nurse called my name, filled out a form, and I was ushered to a bed in the ER and shown a gown to get into. What? The same doctor I saw on Friday was on duty and he wanted to check everything out again. Guess church was out. So I donned my lovely gown and got into bed. One very kind nurse stopped in to tell me not to worry--medical screening said there was talk about admitting me! Kind nurse said that the doctor was just very thorough. Eventually, a tech came in to draw blood--I didn't know that they left any on Friday night. I didn't have a blankie and my feet were getting cold--it was a really hot day yesterday but not in the ER. So a nurse apologized and brought me a warm blankie. I asked her if there was any possibility of food, since it was after eleven and I hadn't eaten in over twelve hours. She said she would check. I called Glenn to let him know the situation. Prince that he is, he came down to keep me company. Even brought down the book I asked for and more yarn. Kind nurse came in with a lunch tray--yippee. Who would think you would say that about hospital food? I started off eating the best carrots of my life. As I was savoring the carrots, a doctor, not mine, walked by and saw me with the tray. She said, "Aren't you here for abdominal pain? Who thought it was a good idea to let an abdominal pain eat. Could you not do that?" So I put down my fork, sadly. Eventually, someone came in, not kind nurse, to take the tray away. Charming French nurse (male and tres cute) came in and started an IV to give me a pain shot. Not totally necessary--I wasn't comfortable but it was bearable--but very nice. I went off to another plane for a while. Finally, my doctor came in. He said I looked great on paper. It wasn't gall bladder disease. It wasn't pancreatitis. It wasn't life threatening, obviously, so they sent me home with orders to follow up with my primary care. Because I like paper, I asked for a copy of the CT report, which I got, along with a copy of the sonogram report and blood work.
The final CT report noted that my troublesome lymph node and grown again--I wasn't happy about that. I wasn't happy at all. In all, I spent another six hours at the hospital yesterday and I still hurt.
I called my primary care's office today and made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon. My oncologist called me in the afternoon to see how I was doing. She went over all my test reports. She wasn't too happy about the lymph node either. The decision now is whether to do radiation on the node or change to a different chemo, since we've gotten the good we are going to get out of doxil. Her choice is radiation. Cancel the chemo for tomorrow. Cancel the CT for Oct 1. Make an appointment for a consult with the radiation oncologist. I did all of that. I will see the RO next Monday. I called Elaine to tell her she was off the hook for tomorrow--she was going to dome over tonight and take me to chemo tomorrow. Maybe next time--I'm assuming there will be a next time with new stuff after the radiation. I see the medical oncologist on the 5th of October and will have my port flushed before Grand Chapter. Radiation most likely won't start till after I get back from Yosemite.
So where are we? There are a great many bad things I don't have. I do have pain. I do have cancer. I want my mommie, but that's not going to happen. Maybe the pain will be gone tomorrow. Wouldn't that be nice? Oh, my car is running great--little problem with the air conditioner, but that can wait.
xxooxx