It's something I've been thinking about a lot lately, possibly because it is something my oncologist and i talk about. I know the smart thing is to focus on the things I can still do and not on the things I can't do any more. I can knit, and I do that quite well. I can read. i can still cook when I want to. I put on a birthday dinner for Ally last night that was lovely. Green salad, mashed potatoes (which turned out to be her brother Danny's almost favorite food), Prime Rib, and birthday cake--store bought. It wasn't hard. We used the good china and the silver and the good crystal. I did the prep work, cooking, and cleaning. I was tired, but I would have been tired before I got sick.
Victoria posted pictures of her and Brian and Iris hiking Mt. Tam today. the pictures were beautiful, but it broke my heart. I could no more do that anymore than fly. And I used to love to hike. When i was a little girl, my Mother said I was part mountain goat. I would go right up the side of the hill.
I had my big adventure last week. I took Bart downtown by myself and walk to my therapist's office and reversed the process, but the next day, climbing up four stairs wiped me out and I was gasping.
Dr. Zipkin suggested I work my way back, and I should try that, walking around Tanforan until the weather improves. This girl hiked the Plane of Six Glaciers 7 years ago and won a BMW (Burly Mountain Woman) certificate! Once again, I wasn't sick and weighed 30 pounds less.
So quality of life. I'm surrounded by people who love me--that's a good thing. I can still set the fiddle on fire--that's a good thing. I can make Christmas cookies--that's good or bad, depending on who eats them. My nose seems to have stopped bleeding--that's a very good thing. I can't go for a walk in the woods. That makes me sad. Allow me some time to mourn for what I can't do, then I'll be myself again.
I'm off to Sonoma on Tuesday--that should perk me up.
xxooxx
Monday, January 21, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
So it's 2013 Already
Where to start. I finished the sweater for the babysitter--quite nice. I'm sure she will be pleased. I got a commission for another baby sweater and Ally would like a sweater for her birthday. I can do that. She won't have it on her birthday, which is Saturday, but it's the thought that counts. She picked it out of a new book that I'm anxious to try, so all in all, it will be an enjoyable project. I'm working on a sweater for Iris--out of yarn on hand. I went to 9 Rubies on Monday and only bought knitting needles--though I did lust over some incredibly beautiful yarn that goes for $47.00/hank. At that price, it had better be beautiful!
Boxing day scan--not bad but not good. the mass is still growing slowly, but we've had two scans with it growing. So we are now on chemo #8, Alimta. It's quick. I didn't have my last infusion of Avastin. The day I was supposed to get it, my blood pressure was too high. The day they postponed it to, Dr. Chee changed me to the new stuff. What I notice is that I can walk just a little bit further before I start gasping. Life is not all bad.
The new washer arrived and is working well. Unfortunately, I also had to get a new water heater and a new dishwasher. It has been an expensive month.
Yesterday, I had lunch with my new friend from Connecticut--the one I make wool mittens for. She was out here visiting her daughter. We had a delightful time. I also had two doctor appointments. My nose started bleeding last week. I called Dr. Chee about it on Friday. She had me go to the hospital for a CBC. She didn't call me back with the results, but it kept bleeding, off and on, so Friday night, Glenn took me to emergency. They cauterized it, which was not at all pleasant--or effective. One of the doctors I saw Monday was my primary care. She didn't seem too concerned. I also have another bleeding site for which she sent me off to see a gastro-entorologist. He prescribed a powder that seems to be helping. Also have an itchy rash on my chest and neck--got a cream for that--it isn't working as fast as the powder.
During all of this, I've been working my buns off for the chapter. I typed up a new roster that I hope will convert to mailing labels, and did all the end of year taxes. That was fun.
So now we're caught up to the middle of the month. I'm off to Sonoma next week. I need the rest.
xxooxx
Boxing day scan--not bad but not good. the mass is still growing slowly, but we've had two scans with it growing. So we are now on chemo #8, Alimta. It's quick. I didn't have my last infusion of Avastin. The day I was supposed to get it, my blood pressure was too high. The day they postponed it to, Dr. Chee changed me to the new stuff. What I notice is that I can walk just a little bit further before I start gasping. Life is not all bad.
The new washer arrived and is working well. Unfortunately, I also had to get a new water heater and a new dishwasher. It has been an expensive month.
Yesterday, I had lunch with my new friend from Connecticut--the one I make wool mittens for. She was out here visiting her daughter. We had a delightful time. I also had two doctor appointments. My nose started bleeding last week. I called Dr. Chee about it on Friday. She had me go to the hospital for a CBC. She didn't call me back with the results, but it kept bleeding, off and on, so Friday night, Glenn took me to emergency. They cauterized it, which was not at all pleasant--or effective. One of the doctors I saw Monday was my primary care. She didn't seem too concerned. I also have another bleeding site for which she sent me off to see a gastro-entorologist. He prescribed a powder that seems to be helping. Also have an itchy rash on my chest and neck--got a cream for that--it isn't working as fast as the powder.
During all of this, I've been working my buns off for the chapter. I typed up a new roster that I hope will convert to mailing labels, and did all the end of year taxes. That was fun.
So now we're caught up to the middle of the month. I'm off to Sonoma next week. I need the rest.
xxooxx
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