Woke up this morning around 1:30 is screaming pain. It took very little convincing on Ally's part to go to the hospital. I chose her as the driver this time because Glenn was exhausted. He works swing on Wednesdays and day on Thursday through Sunday, so that first night is a killer for him. Allie had just gotten home, so it was easier for her. ER was pretty empty and they took me in right away without having to faint or say chest pain, or bleed, or anything. We didn't know if the pain was cancer, chemo, or constipation. Once they got my pain under control, I sent Ally home to sleep. Getting a ride home would not be a problem. I got poked and prodded and had a scan. Constipation won. Two enemas and much production later I was feeling much better and ready to go home. Dory couldn't believe it when I messaged her to come get me. I'm tired, very tired, but feeling much better. Don't need breakthrough meds, at least not right now, and that's a very good thing. Think I'll have some lemonade and a nap. Thank you, God, for an easy one this time.
xxooxx
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Chemo 6.1B
Wasn't as bad as 1A. I was in terrible pain all week,on top of my regular pain meds popping percocet like they were M&M's. It helped somewhat. I did get yelled at because I didn't call the office to let them know how I was feeling. The pain could be the cancer, it could be the chemo, or is could just be constipation--or all three. As I have learned on this journey, life is all about managing poop. My pain meds were increased and if I'm still hurting Friday, I'll call. I'm doing somewhat better.
Tamra from church gave me a ride downtown to get my hair cut today. It has thinned a little and not grown much in the last 12 weeks, but a trim was nice. Got home to see the end of the ball game--Giant's lost--Boo--but they took the series--good. Don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow with no baseball. Guess I'll survive.
That's it.
xxooxx
Tamra from church gave me a ride downtown to get my hair cut today. It has thinned a little and not grown much in the last 12 weeks, but a trim was nice. Got home to see the end of the ball game--Giant's lost--Boo--but they took the series--good. Don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow with no baseball. Guess I'll survive.
That's it.
xxooxx
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Chemo 6.1A
Just to continue on from the last post, I heard that the grandmother didn't survive the fire. What a dreadful way to go.
Friday afternoon, I went to the knitting shop because I have found an instruction that even I can't figure out. No luck with Kathryn, the owner, she couldn't figure it out either. We did find a web site, so I wrote to them for help. SINCE I was at the yarn shop, I just had to get the pattern for little fruit hats for size infant to T-2. And yarn;. I've made a blueberry and a strawberry. When I got home, I ordered more fruit colors. Yes, I do consider my hand slapped. I ordered this yarn form the Loopy Ewe. The awful bad thing that happened there is that I now have ordered so much from them that I have a $25.00 credit. That means I have to order more yarn--and I've got a huge Wish List with them
I didn't feel like reading on Sunday, Not a problem, there were backup's ready to take over, and kind sisters to keep me together. I hate weeping through all of church, but what better place to do it. The space is filled with people who love me deeply and care about me. People who are willing to dry my tears. People who understand. The worst part about crying in church is that it's hard to sing the hymns when my voice is croaky. We had a blessing of the new trees after the service--one of the branches is in memory of Lee--followed by a reception--perhaps leftovers from the Blessing of the Animals that I didn't go to on Saturday, No, it was a surprise Birthday Party for ME. I've never had a really honest to goodness surprise party before--one of the disadvantages of being a control freak. I was deeply touched. Tears of joy leave your eyes just as red as tears of sadness, but when they dry, You have the joy left over,
Monday was MY BIRTHDAY. I felt better for PT--not good, but better, I was able to actually do the exercises. Stopped at Barnes and Noble with a list of favorite authors and instead of buying a pile of books, bought a Nook. What the hell, it's MY birthday. I got lovely flowers from church and from my sister all the way in Scotland. Glenn gave me a Giant's shirt--the one that says "Got MELK?" I love it. I talked to Cindy for a long time--she thinks we're doing the right thing and agreed to write a letter for the cause and see what she could do about getting letters from other friends. I learned much in that conversation that I really didn't want to know, but really needed to know. Elaine left a message while I was talking to Cindy, I appreciated it, but haven't called her back. My friend Andrea came in the afternoon and we had a nice, spiritual time together. The only sad thing is that she can't be my executor, so I'll have to put more thought into that.
We had a fun Birthday Dinner at Red Robin (where Ally works). Monica wasn't feeling well, so it was just Glenn, Dory, Ally, and I. We had a tower of Onion Rings, various burgers, and an Ice Cream Cake. I'm not used to eating a lot after breakfast. I felt like the Pillsbury Dough Boy--but we had a great time--with NO drama. I know I wanted to be an actress for must of my young life, but I wanted to be a comedienne, do musical comedy,
Tuesday it was time for my new chemo--Navelbine. I had them schedule me in the morning so that Glenn could have some of his time off for himself. So we presented ourselves at 10:30. They had problems accessing my port--I knew the hospital should have used it. It gets little tiny clots that stick in the tubing when they are trying to get blood return. I try various positions and they shoot it full of saline and Drano--eventually whatever is there pops, the get blood return, and they can start the process. I haven't had any kind of chemo since Glenn's birthday--hospital should have used it--it would have saved me a big ugly bruise. Anyway, since I hadn't had chemo is so long, my numbers were pretty good--except CA125 which is now over 100. The good newses about my numbers being OK and that I could go ahead with chemo as planned and didn't need a procrit shot. I got a small bag of premeds--zofran and dexamethesone, usually. Then out comes the chemo. It usually comes in a quart bag. This was in a large Syringe that hooked onto the tubing and was infused over four or five minutes. After that, I got a small bag of saline, and we were off. Maybe the quickness of it makes up for the fact that I have to have it three Tuesdays in a row. It better be working, because I've felt terrible since they started infusing it. Not fair. I sure hope it is working, because I feel terrible. As soon as we got home, I took 2 percocets and a lorazapam and went to sleep. Glenn got me up at 2 for an appointment with my PCP--who has become Monica, Dory, and Glenn's PCP too. It was a follow up from the hospital.
Wednesday was a Mark day, Glenn and Ally didn't want me to try BART, so they lined up a ride downtown for me with my friend Roberta. I do feel warm fuzzys for the way they take care of me. Wednesday afternoon, Victoria and Iris came to visit. It was a lovely time, I can see little changes in her still tiny little person. I had a surprise for Victoria. I started a photo album of her from the time I first met her--she was about 10 days old--my Grandmother and I flew down to Santa Barbara for the day)--until she was about 2. I think there are more pictures in that book than our mother took of our whole childhood--and I'm jst the Aunt!. Anyway, I asked her if she would like to have it, since she would get it eventually. She got a little teary nad said "But it's yours!" I told her I din't want to hurt her feelings, but I don't pull it out every day and look at it. I thought since she now had a daughter of her own, it would be nice to make the comparisons. I think she was happy to take it. At least I hope so.
Thursday was Dr. Shen, the Gynological Oncologist. He just feels around and say come back in 4 months and wish he could make my pain go away. So do I. Ride for that was Vicki,.
Friday was a late birthday dinner with my dear friends Gloriann and Vaughn, We're still laughing over things we did in the 70's. Old, dear friends are the best.
All this while, the Giants have stepped up to their job as a major part of my recovery therapy. There's beem a little more drama than necessary, but they have been winning. Makes me happy.
So here it is--or was--the Third Saturday of the Quarter and time for OMNAB. I didn't want to go--I still feel pretty crappy--but a local piano teacher was using our Open Mic Night to give her students a chance to play. I figured short people could use all the audience they could get. I took my knitting and it helped for canceling Knitting Circle last night.
Well that's it, you are up to the minute, more or less. I've even managed to take care of necessary Chapter business--Grand Chapter reports, Quarterly taxes to the EDD. I'm on top of things. Have I typed the minutes from June yet? Uh.........
Well. time to get ot bed.
xxooxx
Friday afternoon, I went to the knitting shop because I have found an instruction that even I can't figure out. No luck with Kathryn, the owner, she couldn't figure it out either. We did find a web site, so I wrote to them for help. SINCE I was at the yarn shop, I just had to get the pattern for little fruit hats for size infant to T-2. And yarn;. I've made a blueberry and a strawberry. When I got home, I ordered more fruit colors. Yes, I do consider my hand slapped. I ordered this yarn form the Loopy Ewe. The awful bad thing that happened there is that I now have ordered so much from them that I have a $25.00 credit. That means I have to order more yarn--and I've got a huge Wish List with them
I didn't feel like reading on Sunday, Not a problem, there were backup's ready to take over, and kind sisters to keep me together. I hate weeping through all of church, but what better place to do it. The space is filled with people who love me deeply and care about me. People who are willing to dry my tears. People who understand. The worst part about crying in church is that it's hard to sing the hymns when my voice is croaky. We had a blessing of the new trees after the service--one of the branches is in memory of Lee--followed by a reception--perhaps leftovers from the Blessing of the Animals that I didn't go to on Saturday, No, it was a surprise Birthday Party for ME. I've never had a really honest to goodness surprise party before--one of the disadvantages of being a control freak. I was deeply touched. Tears of joy leave your eyes just as red as tears of sadness, but when they dry, You have the joy left over,
Monday was MY BIRTHDAY. I felt better for PT--not good, but better, I was able to actually do the exercises. Stopped at Barnes and Noble with a list of favorite authors and instead of buying a pile of books, bought a Nook. What the hell, it's MY birthday. I got lovely flowers from church and from my sister all the way in Scotland. Glenn gave me a Giant's shirt--the one that says "Got MELK?" I love it. I talked to Cindy for a long time--she thinks we're doing the right thing and agreed to write a letter for the cause and see what she could do about getting letters from other friends. I learned much in that conversation that I really didn't want to know, but really needed to know. Elaine left a message while I was talking to Cindy, I appreciated it, but haven't called her back. My friend Andrea came in the afternoon and we had a nice, spiritual time together. The only sad thing is that she can't be my executor, so I'll have to put more thought into that.
We had a fun Birthday Dinner at Red Robin (where Ally works). Monica wasn't feeling well, so it was just Glenn, Dory, Ally, and I. We had a tower of Onion Rings, various burgers, and an Ice Cream Cake. I'm not used to eating a lot after breakfast. I felt like the Pillsbury Dough Boy--but we had a great time--with NO drama. I know I wanted to be an actress for must of my young life, but I wanted to be a comedienne, do musical comedy,
Tuesday it was time for my new chemo--Navelbine. I had them schedule me in the morning so that Glenn could have some of his time off for himself. So we presented ourselves at 10:30. They had problems accessing my port--I knew the hospital should have used it. It gets little tiny clots that stick in the tubing when they are trying to get blood return. I try various positions and they shoot it full of saline and Drano--eventually whatever is there pops, the get blood return, and they can start the process. I haven't had any kind of chemo since Glenn's birthday--hospital should have used it--it would have saved me a big ugly bruise. Anyway, since I hadn't had chemo is so long, my numbers were pretty good--except CA125 which is now over 100. The good newses about my numbers being OK and that I could go ahead with chemo as planned and didn't need a procrit shot. I got a small bag of premeds--zofran and dexamethesone, usually. Then out comes the chemo. It usually comes in a quart bag. This was in a large Syringe that hooked onto the tubing and was infused over four or five minutes. After that, I got a small bag of saline, and we were off. Maybe the quickness of it makes up for the fact that I have to have it three Tuesdays in a row. It better be working, because I've felt terrible since they started infusing it. Not fair. I sure hope it is working, because I feel terrible. As soon as we got home, I took 2 percocets and a lorazapam and went to sleep. Glenn got me up at 2 for an appointment with my PCP--who has become Monica, Dory, and Glenn's PCP too. It was a follow up from the hospital.
Wednesday was a Mark day, Glenn and Ally didn't want me to try BART, so they lined up a ride downtown for me with my friend Roberta. I do feel warm fuzzys for the way they take care of me. Wednesday afternoon, Victoria and Iris came to visit. It was a lovely time, I can see little changes in her still tiny little person. I had a surprise for Victoria. I started a photo album of her from the time I first met her--she was about 10 days old--my Grandmother and I flew down to Santa Barbara for the day)--until she was about 2. I think there are more pictures in that book than our mother took of our whole childhood--and I'm jst the Aunt!. Anyway, I asked her if she would like to have it, since she would get it eventually. She got a little teary nad said "But it's yours!" I told her I din't want to hurt her feelings, but I don't pull it out every day and look at it. I thought since she now had a daughter of her own, it would be nice to make the comparisons. I think she was happy to take it. At least I hope so.
Thursday was Dr. Shen, the Gynological Oncologist. He just feels around and say come back in 4 months and wish he could make my pain go away. So do I. Ride for that was Vicki,.
Friday was a late birthday dinner with my dear friends Gloriann and Vaughn, We're still laughing over things we did in the 70's. Old, dear friends are the best.
All this while, the Giants have stepped up to their job as a major part of my recovery therapy. There's beem a little more drama than necessary, but they have been winning. Makes me happy.
So here it is--or was--the Third Saturday of the Quarter and time for OMNAB. I didn't want to go--I still feel pretty crappy--but a local piano teacher was using our Open Mic Night to give her students a chance to play. I figured short people could use all the audience they could get. I took my knitting and it helped for canceling Knitting Circle last night.
Well that's it, you are up to the minute, more or less. I've even managed to take care of necessary Chapter business--Grand Chapter reports, Quarterly taxes to the EDD. I'm on top of things. Have I typed the minutes from June yet? Uh.........
Well. time to get ot bed.
xxooxx
Saturday, July 14, 2012
WTF?
Let's start with the good stuff. After church and a dreadful Giant's game on Sunday, I set off for Richmond, to meet Miss Iris Gabrielle Wyatt. Victoria's pictures are better than mine, but here goes:
Monday I was feeling less good. I had a PT appointment and could barely walk into the room. No exercises for me. I got a massage, then spent 15 minutes lying on heat on my neck and shoulders. That felt good. The massage was practice for Sonoma. Monica, Glenn, and I had an appointment in Concord at John Muir in the afternoon. It was a very productive meeting. They are professionals and know what they are doing. We got some homework. I will call them next Monday and make the next appointment. I particularly liked the way they took the burden off my shoulders. We talked about my upcoming trip to Sonoma. They thought that was a wonderful thing I was doing for myself. I did too. I had my treatments memorized. My skin was just waiting to suck up every bit of cream it could find.
Tuesday morning, I felt worse than Monday. It was not hot, but I sweated heavily through breakfast. I was trying to get the last few details of my suitcase packed, and I really felt bad. Trouble breathing, heart palpitations (after I looked them up because people are always asking me if I have them. It was looking like Sonoma wasn't going to happen. I called my doctor's (PCP) office, and the word there was to go straight to emergency. I called the Spa to cancel my appointments for that day--then we decided I should cancel everything. They would take care of canceling my hotel reservation.
Glenn was otherwise engaged--he'd agreed to get Gretchen and Jim to the airport for their trip to
Scotland. We would babysit their truck while they were gone. The time that they were coming by coincided with when I had to leave. No problem, my wonderful Ally was there. I had to mail the annual report and pick up a prescription, so I thought we could go by CVS. At the last minute, I handed the envelope to Glenn and asked him to mail it. The prescription would wait. Ally needed gas, so we took care of that, then off to the hospital. We got the last parking space in the emergency lot and managed to get into the building. There was someone at the admitting desk, so we had to wait. That didn't take very long. It was our turn and we got to the desk and sat down. I could feel everything closing in on me, so I put my arm and head down on the desk. The next thing I knew, there were about five nurses and Ally, trying to get me onto a bed--we all managed, and they whisked me into one of the special rooms. I was bone weary. They got me into a hospital gown and got an IV started. There followed the usual tests. EKG, chest x-ray, chest CT. I had needles in each arm. Because I have cancer, my blood tests as though there might be an embolism, hence the CT. Nothing showed up there. The Doctor actually asked me if I wanted to stay or go home. Go home? Are you kidding me? What if it happens again? No, they kept me for two nights. Good thing we canceled Sonoma. I had a head CT Wednesday morning, then an EEG around noon. Both tests were perfect. My doctor wasn't sure I'd had a seizure. She thinks it was a vasovagal episode, brought on by stress. OK, well THAT will be really easy to eliminate from my life. Glenn brought me home yesterday afternoon. I'm discovering the benefits of Atavan. I kind of wanted to stay at the hospital--I felt safe there. But I'm home. I got through a few errands today with nothing amiss. I even cooked most of dinner--I did the chops and baked potatos and Glenn cooked the green stuff. Tomorrow will be better.
I trust Gretchen and Jim got to Scotland safely. Every fire engine in and around town was rushing up Monetary Drive, sirens blaring. Heard in the news it was a fire on Lake Drive. A two year old baby was killed. Prayers for the surviving grandmother and parents. Maybe tomorrow will be quieter.
xxooxx
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
If you Wanna Feel Better...
If you wanna feel better, just look at a baby. And I have one to look at! Things have been tense, and probably will be for the foreseeable future. I'm hurting. I have plenty of pain meds, but I don't really like taking too much. I also don't like hurting. It's a balancing act.
In the midst of all the Strum und Drang, my niece, Victoria, and brightened up my life by producing Miss Iris Gabrielle Wyatt. Iris was due on the 23rd, but came early. She popped out July 2 at 9:10 in the morning. Well, I don't think she exactly popped out. Victoria was in labor for a while. Victoria and Brian posted pictures on Facebook, and Gretchen, a very happy Grandma, sent me several. Iris is a beautiful little bit of a person. I look at the pictures and just smile. I think I don't hurt quite as much when I look at her little face. I want to be around for her important firsts. Her college graduation and wedding would be nice, but I think that would be pushing it, even if I weren't sick. Thank you, Victoria and Brian, for giving me a reason to smile, and thank you, God, for a safe delivery of the precious new member of the family
In the midst of all the Strum und Drang, my niece, Victoria, and brightened up my life by producing Miss Iris Gabrielle Wyatt. Iris was due on the 23rd, but came early. She popped out July 2 at 9:10 in the morning. Well, I don't think she exactly popped out. Victoria was in labor for a while. Victoria and Brian posted pictures on Facebook, and Gretchen, a very happy Grandma, sent me several. Iris is a beautiful little bit of a person. I look at the pictures and just smile. I think I don't hurt quite as much when I look at her little face. I want to be around for her important firsts. Her college graduation and wedding would be nice, but I think that would be pushing it, even if I weren't sick. Thank you, Victoria and Brian, for giving me a reason to smile, and thank you, God, for a safe delivery of the precious new member of the family
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