Hanging at my Sister's

Spelling and finger dyslexia warning--they have changed blogspot and I don't know where the spellcheck went.  I'll try, but spelling and proof-reading have never been my strengths.
The drive down was glorious--warm and clear but with the tang of autumn.  I had lunch at Margie's Diner in Paso Robles, where they make about the best fries in the world.  I'm sure they are cooked in something terribly toxic and I don't care.
I've been having a great visit with my sister and her family.  Gretchen has been very considerate of my post-radition malaise and has let me get plenty of rest.  Sleeping late, naps, what more could you ask for.  I sat in the sunshine and kept the dogs company.  The weather has been spectatular.  Wednesday's outing was the Museum of Natural History--a little gem tucked away in Santa Barbara.  We weren't the only ones who thought it was a good idea; still, the museum is big enough that it can accomodate lots of people and small enough that it didn't wear me out.  Everywhere we looked the views were amazing on the drive to and from. 
Thanksgiving Day was restful and casual.  We had been invited to have dinner with my nephew's landlords, Flash and Tina.  The beauty of having Thanksgiving at someone else's house is that you don't wear yourself out cooking, though we did make three different kinds of cranberry sauce (I made the plain old fashioned one) and Gretchen made an apple pie and a green bean salad.  I watched football.
Thanksgiving Dinner was a wonderful experience.  We had to park a bit away from the house, so I was winded and exhausted when we got there.  I sat down to catch my breath and of course, got weepy.  At the least little sentimental thought I become a watering can.  I hate it, but what can you do.  Tears come like the tide and won't be stopped.  I never really know what sets them off.  Fortunately, everyone but Gretchen was busy with much preperation, so I didn't weep all over the world.  Once drained, I had a lovely time.  Flash and Tina were warm and generous hosts as well as being interesting and charming people.  Jim brought champagne.  I was pretty sure my meds wouldn't like it, but I did.  Even bad champagne is good, and this was very good champagne.  The property has a huge yard with an amazing brick fireplace that I wanted.  We had dinner by a roaring fire, under the stars.  Gretchen and I were sitting near the fireplace--we were warm and toasty.  One of the guests, a young man named Andy Chang, is s sushi chef.  He was in charge of carving the bird.  The show of carving was worth the price of admission (or would have been, had there been a charge).  Naturally, I left my camera at Gretchen's house and my little gizmo to transfer the pictures to the computer at my house.  Many pictures were taken,  If Gretchen or Victoria send me one or some (large hint),  I will include it or them in a later post.  Everything was delicious.  Picky eater that I am, I enjoyed everything--even though it was quite dark by the time we ate and I couldn't eat one thing at a time as I usually do.  As we were dining under the stars, I thought of friends in other parts of the country where it is really coming on winter and I must say, I gloated and gloried in the evening.  It started to get cold, so pie was eaten indoors--by the fire in the living room.  Getting me off the couch took three strong men and a boy, and it wasn't pretty, but I did it.  This is my third Thanksgiving since I lost Lee.  Each one has been special and each one included a few challanges.  This year, except for the weepy bouts, has been delightfully challange free.
Yesterday morning--well, late morning--Gretchen took me for a ride with views to admire.  The family went wine tasting in the afternoon--I took two naps.  While I was napping the wind came up with a vengance.  Gretchen had a tennis date after the wine tasting.  The rest of us agreed that we were happy not to be her, trying to play tennis in a hurricane.
This morning was another drive with errends,  Victoria is off on a 40 mile race and Gretchen and Jim are at a 50th anniversary party.  My original intenion was go to home today, thinking they would have had enough of me by now, but Gretchen looked hurt when I suggested it, so I'll be driving home tomorrow with the rest of the world.  Kyle will be coming over for dinner tonight, so it will be nice to see him again this trip.
I'm afraid I've turned into the feeble old aunt that people need to help in and out of chairs and up and down stairs.  Part of me hates it and the other part knows that I am helped out of love, so I appreciate it.
The only real downside to going away for Thanksgiving is no left overs.  I'm sure Glenn would be happy for me to do a turkey dinner sometime and I almost think we could find friends to join us.  Now there's a thought.
That's it for now.  It might be nap time or it might be Facebook time.  We'll see.
xxooxx

Advent is earlier this year and will last longer

Friday was my last radiation. I was not welcomed with flowers and cake, but I did get hugs, and hugs are better than just about anything--except maybe diamonds. I saw Dr. Chee in the afternoon (my little Cal Bear of an oncologist).  So now we wait. Apparently, getting zapped with radiation is only half the battle. Now that I've been zapped, the radiation has to do its work. This takes time. I get to learn a new skill. I get to learn patience. Dr. Chee put in the order for my next CT scan, but it won't be till the middle of January, at which time, we will see what the radiation accomplished and the next game plan will be made. I'm in cancer limbo now, just waiting.

Yesterday was not a waiting day. Yesterday was the church Thanksgiving Dinner, for which I have been chief cook for the last several years. I arrived at church shortly after 9 in the morning, ready to work. As always, I had a crew of helpers who make the time go by with laughter and conversation. I start with cranberry sauce, to get that smell going. We dispatched six bags of cranberries and moved on to stuffing--yet more smells to fill the church. This year there were five turkeys--four to be stuffed and one to be gluten free--though we did stuff it with onions because I just couldn't handle the thought of cooking a turkey with NOTHING inside of it. The birds were all in the oven by 12:30. It is always such an act of faith to stick the birds in the oven then go home and trust that they will be cooked when you get back. My BIG sacrifice this year was BIG GAME. The game started at 4:30 and that's when I had to be back at church for the rest of the festivities. When I first started cooking the Thanksgiving Dinner, we had it on a Friday. The only thing that ran interference with it was Pacific Star Chapter's installation. I have been knows to finish up the dinner in a formal. When they moved the dinner to Saturday, it always hits on BIG GAME DAY. Now this is manageable when big game starts at 12:30 or 1--get the birds in the oven, come home, watch the game, change clothes, get back to church and finish up. I had my little radio with me, but it isn't the same. Still, I was able to maintain contact and knew what was going on most of the time.
Back at the church, God worked His miracles. The building was full of wonderful smells. The birds were cooked. I tried to take the first one out of the oven and got yelled at. Birds out of the oven, stuffing out of the birds, unstuffed birds handed off to the cravers while we collected juices for gravy. My last job is making the gravy, which is pretty much by guess and by gosh. Too thick? Add water or more juice, if available, not thick enough? Mix cold water and flour to make more roux. Find volunteer tasters to see if it needs more salt of pepper, and stir, stir, stir. There will be no lumps in this gravy. And listen to the game. Finally, everything is ready to eat. By this time, I took the first percocet of the day. The Thanksgiving Dinner is always a big success, and last night was no different. We had a good crowd and lots of good food. After dinner, the tables were cleared and put away and the chairs were brought back into pew formation. It was time for the last act of the day--the talent show and Open Mic Night. We started with Anne and the Bethany Brawlers, playing Simple Gifts and a nice leisurely tempo then switching to Pigtown Fling as fast as I could play it. We got the crowd clapping in time to the music. We rearranged our percussion section--that was Fred switching from the spoons to the bodhran, and played Riding on a Load of Hay. One more instrument change for Fred and we closed with Ashokan Farewell. After that, I was officially allowed to be tired. I checked the score again--we won!--then sat through the rest of the show, looking sort of glassy-eyed. It was a great show, as usual. I must admit, I was happy to finally go home. I didn't set the alarm and still made it up in time for church today. I am now hanging out, which I intend to do tomorrow too. And wait. I think I shall wait tomorrow.
That's it.
xxooxx

Nothing Really New

It's been a while, so I thought I should let you know I'm still alive. I have two more days of radiation. My lovely 10:10 appointment was bumped up to 8:30 for the next two days to accommodate the breast cancer patients who have special radiation needs. I know it is really small and petty of me, but I'm having my own little war with the breast cancer patients. They get all the headlines, they get the pretty pink ribbon, they get the three day walk--no one even crosses the street for cancer of the peritoneum. There's this fancy new protocol for breast cancer--only five days of radiation, but twice a day at six hour intervals--the rest of us get stuck in around them. I find it annoying, like my cancer isn't as important as theirs is. Do they want to go out back and duke it out? I've probably had it longer and my prognosis is worse than theirs. Glenn just laughs at me when I snort about the breast cancer patients. Only two more days. I see my oncologist on Friday to find out what's next. She doesn't do breast cancer, so I know I won't get bumped there. Bless his heart, Glenn is taking an hour off work to come with me.  He really wants to know what is going on.
I'm getting better at being honest about how I'm doing. If I don't feel good, I'll say so. Sometimes, the clue is that I'll say I'm OK, ass opposed to fine or good. I'm assuming that if people ask, they genuinely want to know.
I'm above the grass, so things are better than they could be.
That's it for now.
xxooxx

So Here's How I've Been Spending my Days

So here is the radiation step of the cancer journey.  First, here's the BIG machine.

And here are my technicians

Now, hop on to the table and get comfortable

Say Cheese!

It was really cold in the Cancer Center today, so they draped my sweater around my neck like a shawl.  After they get me in exactly the right position--every day--they leave the room.  The BIG machine comes down and zaps me, moves around tha zaps me again, moves around again, zaps again, and one more time, which always includes some shaking of the table--I won't know if we're having an earthquake while I'm getting radiation--then one last zap.  After all that, I get to relax my arms--which are usually uncomfortable by that time--the BIG machine moves back into place and the table slides out and the help me off.  See you tomorrow.  Sixteen down, nine to go!

I'm actually feeling sort of crappy today, so I'm pretty much doing nothing.  I saw the doctor today, Dr. Tran, the back-up.  We had a philosophical discussion about making plans.  She said since 9-11 she hasn't been able to plan anyting in the future.  I've always been a planner, so I'm looking forward to the next CAT scan and the next step.  Then I can make plans for the spa and the future.

xxooxx

What Hip Pain?

So after all that excitement yesterday, I woke up today feeling fine--well, my hip felt fine.  Stomach is a little crampy, but I think that's from 15 (times 4) zaps from the big radiation machine.  I was able to run some errands and do the grocery shopping.  Watched two football games--one very exciting and the one I really cared about very sad.  I'm still a "GO BEARS!" girl, but they let me down this afternoon.  Anyway, I feel better.  Ellen Kross is sure she prayed it better.  I think she did.  I'm ready for the next round of thrills.
xxooxx

An Interesting Day

I woke up today, when the alarm went off at 7:15, with an intense pain in my left hip shooting down to my knee.  It hurt lying down, it hurt standing up, it hurt sitting down.  In my former life, I would just have thought I slept wrong and the pain would go away after a bit.  Around 8, I took a percocet, which didn't help much.  It did, however, make me loopy enough that I didn't think driving would be a good idea.  I called my friend Ellen Kross from church, who has offered taxi service if required.  Ellen is a retired nurse.  She was happy to drive me to radiation, but told me if I didn't tell them about the pain, she would.  I told Lynn, the radition oncology nurse, who runs the joint.  She asked a bunch of questions then decided the person to call was Dr. Chee or her PA.  While this was going on, they called me for radiation, so off I hobbled.  Shot full of toxic rays, I went back to the waiting room.  Lynn had left a message.  She called them back while we waited.  The concensus was that I should try to see my orthopediest.  I called his office--by 10:30 the doctors were gone for the day to do surgery, so there was no one to see.  I called Dr. Chee's office back.  Dr. Chee was with a patient, but I should go home and she would call me there.
Off we went. I thanked Ellen for the ride and went inside. At noon, I took another percocet. It helped a little more. Dr. Chee called me just before 2. She wanted me to get x-rays just to rule out cancer problems. Hello, Ellen, how do you feel about more taxi service? I could have waited for Glenn to get off work, but the prudent thing seemed to be to get it done ASAP. Dr. Chee faxed the order to the hospital (not the same one where I spend my mornings, the one closer to my house) so it was waiting for me. I think I had a student doing the work. He was very kind and very polite, but there were several people helping him. I'm still hoping that I slept funny, but lying on the x-ray table my brain was crowed with cancer questions and I got weepy. I’m sure they all thought it was the pain, and that's OK. I guess I didn't break anything, because they sent me on my way and told me that my doctor would have the results by Monday.
I called Elaine, who is still mending. Things must be getting back to normal, because she didn't have time to talk and said she would call me back. I'm still waiting. While I was waiting, though, my sister called, and that was a pleasant surprise. She and Jim are in the bay area for tomorrow's Cal game. She was properly sympathetic for my day. I took yet another percocet at 4 and got really loopy--but more or less pain-free.
So that was my day. Not what I had intended. I didn't have anything planned--good thing, plans were made for me.
I'm feeling pretty anesthetized right now. Guess I won't sleep on my left side tonight. Maybe I'll wake up with my right hip hurting...
xxooxx

They Also Love Who Sit and Wait

I started the day off with, gosh, radiation--13 down 12 to go--then I was off to San Ramon Regional Medical Center, where I was NOT the patient. I got there about 11:45 and waited for Elaine and Mark to get there. They were due in around noon. Elaine's surgery was scheduled for 1:30. They were only a little bit late, which, for Elaine, is early (if you know her, you understand). She was one nervous little girl. We kept things light and waited with her during pre-op. I let her know that it was OK to be nervous and it was OK to cry if she needed to. Mark had to leave before they came to get her, he being on kid pick-up duty. I alternately rubbed her feet, held her hand, and knit, keeping the conversation light. They eventually gave her something for the anxiety, which helped--a little. Finally, it was time to take her to the OR. I got to go with her and stay with her while she was in a holding pattern--holding her hand, patting her face, stroking her brow. The surgeon came to talk with us--37years old, really handsome, exuding an air of confidence. I knew my little girl would be in good hands. They finally came to take her to the actual OR. I went back to the pre-op room, picked up our stuff, and dumped it in the trunk, then went in search of food. It was about 2. I had soup, crackers, OJ, and cookies--enough to keep me going. Back to the car to get my knitting stuff, then into the surgery waiting room to wait. And wait. Mark got back somewhat after three, all the children being fetched and dumped at the house with instructions to clean up and do homework. It was after five when the surgeon came to talk to us. All went well. He said it was the second largest bulging disk he has ever seen. It came out in one piece and the actual surgery was a slam dunk. He said Elaine was able to move everything and that there should be no complications. She should be out of pain once she recovers from the surgery. We got a call from the Post-OP unit. Elaine wanted to see us, so we went trotting down the hall. There were no other patients there, so we could stay with her. Poor little thing--she really did look like she had been ridden hard and put away muddy. They got her set up with a PCA, set to dispense on six minute intervals. The PCA is your new best friend after surgery. Post-Op was about an hour. At 6:05, we were once again, trotting through the halls to the ICU, where we got to wait while they got her in her room. In short order, her nurse came to get us and take us back to her room. She was already starting to perk up a bit; she was able to sip a little Sprite. I was going to wait till she went to sleep, but it had been a very long day for me and I still had an hour drive home, so I left a little before 7. I was famished, so I came home by way of Burger King. I called the hospital and spoke with her nurse around 8:30. She was sitting up and taking broth. I told her nurse to let her know that I'd made it home safely. I also called Mark, as ordered (by Elaine) to let him know that I'd made it home without incident.


So now I'm blogging. It has been a very long day, but I would not have been anywhere else. Earlier in the week when we talked, Elaine didn't think I needed to be there during the surgery. I needed to be there. I think she was glad her mommie was there. I would have been a wreck worrying at home.

My impressions of the hospital--a small but state of the art facility. Everyone was unfailingly kind. I think in a bigger hospital, she would have just been put in a regular room. This is small enough that she gets the extra care of the ICU. At no time did anyone seem too busy to answer a question or to make us all feel comfortable. It is a long way away for me--come to think of it, it is a bit of a drive from Elaine's house--but I am so glad that they are taking care of Elaine. She will be kept as comfortable as possible in a cervical collar with a fresh wound in her neck. The nurse said she would probably be going home tomorrow. There was some talk about her coming her to recuperate, but I think she will want to go to her own home. Except for the ride home, which is unavoidable, she isn't allowed to even travel in a car for two weeks. I know she couldn't be away from her babies for that long--even if they do frustrate her. They are all old enough now to shoulder the responsibility of taking care of her.

I'm tired. I'll check the Facebook crops and then contemplate bed. I think I'll go to radiation in the morning.

xxooxx

I know, I know, It's Been a While

Just assume that my life has been really boring when there are big gaps between postings.  The reunion with the Willard Hellcats was so very special that it has been difficult to top it.  Since then, my days have consisted of radiation and whatever else is going on.  The facility where I take my radiation is a really lovely place, inside and out.  The grounds are nicely landscaped and the waiting room is filled with things to keep you entertained.  There is always a jigsaw puzzle going--which reminds me how much I enjoy doing puzzles.  So, I cracked out a puzzle of Vernal Falls that I bought on some trip to Yosemite.  I did that in less than a week--because I had a real treat waiting for me.  The radiation oncology nurse has a stash of puzzles.  Among them is one that a patient gave the center.  It is a very special puzzle, since they go for $500.00 each--this patient orders three of them a year.  They are made of wood and each piece is individually crafted.  The nurse does NOT put this puzzle out of the table for everyone to work on.  When she finds a patient who likes puzzles, she loans it out.  There are 550 pieces.  At first, I wasn't sure I would ever get it done--then maybe that I could find two matching pieces a day.  It occurred to me that I should have taken a picture when I started.  I didn't, but I did take a picture before I started working on it yesterday. 

Here are two pictures I took of the individual shapes:

Note the lovely nails.  Oh, no, this is about the puzzle.  Here are the pieces left in the box, waiting to find homes.

I started working on it yesterday when the Cal game started (Go Bears!).  I finished it sometime during the Oregon-USC game (Go Ducks!)

I am quite proud of myself.  Of course, now that I have finished it and photographed it and blogged about it, I can put it back in the box and take it back to the center for the next poor unsuspecting soul.

On the same subject of puzzles and the radiation oncology center, we've been working on the same puzzle for the two weeks that I've been going there this round.  I've started getting there early to work on the puzzle.  When I got there Friday, I discovered the meanest thing that anyone could do.  Someone had scrambled all the pieces, destroying the corporate work of several devoted fans.  There were several not very happy patients.  I separated out the border pieces and did as much as I could before they interrupted me with the actual reason I was there.  I stayed on for a while, trying to get it back together, but I remembered I that things to do.

One of those things was the marketing.  My niece, Victoria, was coming over for dinner and I was going to make drunk chicken.  Having made it last month for Elaine's non-visit, I was reminded how much fun it was to make and how good it is.  Victoria BARTed over since it is easier and the bay bridge is still broken.  We had a delightful visit.  Victoria was quite taken with the puzzle and helped me with it.
So that's it.  We had a treat at church today with a visit from former members who moved to Texas some 20 years ago.
I think I will go to radiation tomorrow.  10 down, 15 to go.
xxooxx