Thank you God moment

Sometimes I think that God programs my radio station. When I got in the car after Curves, they were playing Dvorak's Romance for Violin in f minor. I remember studying that in 1983. I think that was the year I got over my adult violin stage fright. I played someplace different every weekend that May and the month had five weekends. In the end, I was too tired for stage fright. Now I can get up and play just about anyplace and there are no butterflies, no nerves. Just give me the violin and I'll play. It may not be perfect and I may not always be proud of the effort, but I'm not in a panic over it. It's much better this way.
Now, for the Dvorak. It is an amazing piece. God sent me enough red lights that I got to listen to it all the way home. It finished as I was crossing Skyline. I'm almost surprised I made it home in one piece, since that Romance transports me to another place entirely. It is so beautiful, so melodic, so amazing. It reaches out to a special place in my soul and leaves me in a state of bliss.
Do I respond by knitting or cleaning? Maybe both. Yesterday, I found some of my mother's travel diaries. The interesting ones were from our cross country trip in 1964 and from her time in England and Luxembourg in 1944 and 1945. Cleaning can be fun--if you don' t go crazy about it. Maybe I'll do a little more. I'm going through stuff downstairs and I can only do that when there's good light outside--the overhead light in the big room finally (after 30 years) burned out and it will take major cleaning and moving to be able to get to it to change the bulbs. Hence, the daylight raids. Then I can knit with a clear conscience.
Thank you, God for a glorious day--so far.
xxooxx

Independent businesswoman

The goal for today was to open my shop on Etsy, and it is open! I listed three sweaters for now. When I get the blanket and hat done, I'll list that too. The blanket and hat are a snap--the border for the blanket takes forever. Maybe if I kept at it the thing would just fly by, but it is the same pattern repeated 56 times. It is pretty good BART knitting because it isn't very wide--but it gets boring after a while. It is a really pretty border and sort of makes the blanket--but it's boring. I'm about 5/8 through with it and I've been working on it for weeks--between several other things. This is what I put in my shop:

and

We'll see if anyone snaps them up. I think I overpriced them, but we're taught not to ask for half a loaf. There must be grandma's out there willing to cough up big bucks to buy adorable things they can't or won't do for themselves. Now my knitting has a purpose. If I really worked up some energy, I'd take a bag of my stuff to some of the fancy shops on Burlingame Avenue and see if I can sell them there. Haven't got that kind of energy yet.

I'd best get busy and knit up a storm, because all proceeds are going to support my favorite charity--The Anne Carlson Vacation Fund.

xxooxx

Life is good

Saw wonderful Dr. Chee today (she would be the glockenspiel playing oncologist), and everything is coming up roses. Cat scan was good news. I could give you measurements, but the impression is "There has been mild interval decrease in size of previously noted paraaortic, iliac, and pelvic lymphadenopathy. New new lesions are identified. Yours in Christ, Thomas H Farquahr, MC PhD." I added the Yours in Christ part--I think it sounds good. Glenn and I didn't high five right in the office, but we thought about it. So we will continue with Doxil every 4 weeks for a while and continue to monitor with CAT scans. I feel blessed, I feel joyful. I feel more optimistic than I have in a while. All trips are on--and I just may sneak a little trip in to Lake Louise in March. On the downside, I'm not consuming enough fluid, so those of you who actually see me should always check to see if I have a beverage handy. I'm still anemic, but not as bad. I have an annoying fungus infection, but it is being treated. I haven't been troubled with bursts of energy like I had on Saturday, but I have more stamina. Tonight, the band is getting together to choose new music for the Ceili in March. It is hard to think how things could get better.
xxooxx

Making Plans

I couldn't stand it any longer, so yesterday I talked with my friends in Moncton, NB, otherwise known as Fairmont reservations. I have one, lonely, room upgrade certificate that expires the end of next month--so I made a reservation for Sonoma the last week in February. It will be the same as last time--drive up Sunday after church and come home on Thursday in time for Eastern Star. THEN--I made all the reservations for Monica and my trip to the Canadian Rockies in July. Hotel reservations are easy enough to cancel if Dr. Chee says I won't be fit to travel then, but I wanted to make sure we had the reservations where I wanted, when I wanted--and we do! I'm never happier than when I'm planning a trip--and I've planned this trip three times already. Monica will have a wonderful time, and I will be in places that I truly love. Maybe now that I've got July planned, I can go out and buy some 2009 calendars. I have a purse sized and one in the kitchen, but we usually have them in many placed around the house. It was just another thing that didn't happen this December.
xxooxx

Happy Birthday to Becca

My dear little grandbaby is 14 years old today. I loved 14. It was perhaps the best year of my k-12 years. I had a gaggle of really good friends--most of whom I still have--I had great teachers, we were 9th graders--huge fishes in the junior high school pond. We were innocent and wise. We laughed a lot. We had our rituals. We picked on Mr. Felker unmercifully--but I'm pretty sure he loved it. I can only wish for my Becca a year such as mine. Life got difficult for many of us after that, but that one year was a diamond--and not Mable's with a flaw in it.
So--today is a perfect January day. It is gray and rainy. It sounds good; things smell good. It is in the low 50's, so it could be cooler, but I'm taking it is and saying "Thank you, God."
What have I been doing. Well, Tuesday, I did what just about everyone else in the free world did--I got up early and watched the inauguration. I left to Bart downtown and see my therapist. Came home and dozed through the parade until it was time to go walking with my friend Kathy. We both marveled at the day--it was still warm enough to go out in the afternoon jacketless--and at the day--the amazing history we'd seen. I came home and slept from about 5 to 8--Glenn had made supper and mine was waiting for me in the fridge. I told him he could have woken me up and he said there was no way. Bless him for so many things.
Wednesday I had to get up at 6 to eat breakfast before my CAT scan. I haven't gotten results yet, but I see Dr. Chee on Tuesday and I expect she will tell me then.
Yesterday I slept in and continued with the clean out the office/craft room project. I also reconnected with a dear friend from the phone company--one of my adopted children. Since I last saw her, she has produced beautiful twin girls that I am looking forward to meeting--and knitting for. I didn't want to get out of my jammies, but being true to my commitments, went to Eastern Star last night.
This brings you up to date. I may have missed some stuff, but it isn't the end of the world if I did.
xxooxx

Same old ...

My sister reminded me that I haven't blogged in a while, which can either mean I'm feeling beyond crappy, nothing much has been going on, or I'm so busy I haven't had time to write. In this case it should be choice number 2--pretty dull. I'm feeling remarkably good for someone who had chemo last week. My red blood count is finally creeping up so I have a bit more energy. Some of the Bethany elves came over Saturday morning and we took the tree down. I hated to see it go--it was so pretty and such a reminder of how much I am loved, but it was time--I think it was either Princess Caroline or Stephanie of Monaco's birthday. Now if I put away the nativity sets it will really look like Christmas is over.
Saturday afternoon & evening I went to the Peninsula York Rite installations--three of them. I could have just gone for the last one--Golden Gate Commandery #16, because I had a function to perform at that installation. I presented the outgoing Commander with Lee's Past Commander's Jewel. Bill Hedrix is a fine man and Lee would have been proud to see his pin going to Bill. It got a little weepy after that. The men of the York Rite still hold Lee in high regard and miss him--or feel his presence at their practices. Lee was a Mason's Mason. He loved being part of the fraternity, always wanted to learn more about the craft, and always had a big smile for his Brothers. So I went to three installations in one day in his memory, even though I'd just had chemo--but as you've seen, so far I'm doing well with it.
Yesterday was devoted go church and football. Today was Curves and grocery shopping. Not very exciting.
xxooxx

100th posting Chemo 2.2

Since this is the 100th, it should be profound--it won't be. Tuesday I did my normal--slept late and knit. Did a little organizing on a shelf in the bookcase in the study. Eliminated a few things. Smiled over my wedding book and honeymoon pictures. I decided that my Pelican's (Cal campus humor magazine) from 1966 through 1969 are treasures so I have to keep them. Another reading may move them into the ranks of they-are-archived someplace else-like-maybe-Cal and don't have to be my particular treasures. They might not be as funny to 61 -year-old eyes and minds.

Wednesday morning I went to Curves. Didn't want to but went. Saw my favorite street sign in San Bruno on the way back--more about that later. In the afternoon I knit, went to Craft Circle at church and knit some more. Because I've been working on three projects at the same time, they are all three nearing completion--just in time to start Elaine's birthday sweater and the baby block--foam should be here by fed-ex today.

So yesterday was infusion day. Not so bad--9 to 11:30. The Doxil is very pretty as it goes in--sort of red-orange. Since it was Thursday it was walking day. Now there was a slight hitch to walking day because our path was closed for maintenance. No problem, we met in San Bruno Park and walked that twice--just under a mile. I think I could have done it one more time, but didn't want to push it. On our first round, we detoured slightly out of the park so that I could show Kathy my sign and get a picture of it. Behold the sign:
Now I can't figure out quite what this means. You shouldn't be attacked by vicious dogs, because dogs aren't allowed in any city parks. The people aren't really rowdy. There hasn't been a beheading to my knowledge. It is just a sweet city park with a bandstand. So if you're planning a trip to San Bruno City Park, be not afraid. Guess I should have taken more pictures--of the kids practicing soccer, the dad playing catch with his son, the babies in strollers, and of course the old guys like us walking. It's a good little walk and can be repeated as long as you want to. I think it's .4 miles around once

So that's it, the 100th blog. I woke up just before 6 this morning, hurting. I took a percocet and a compozine and tried to get back to sleep. Couldn't so did some sudokus and migrated to the computer room for more organization. The hurting is gone somewhat, so I think it's time for breakfast.
xxooxx

Sort of Normal

If you don't count the doctor appointment in the afternoon where we spent our time talking about my level of pain and drugs to relieve same, it was a sort of normal day--oh, except that the temperature was in the high 70's and it is the 12th of January for crying out loud. I slept late, breakfasted late, and went to Curves in the morning. After I got home from the doctor's, I made a meatloaf, Waldorf salad, and mashed potatoes--a real meal for Glenn. Glenn was a busy little beaver on his day off. When I got back from Curves he'd cleared out the kitchen and dining area (I can't bring myself to call an extension of the kitchen a dining room), swept the floor and was getting ready to attack it with the Swiffer Wetjet. The dinner that I lovingly made for him went on a table that was cleared of everything except the spider mums and the vase that my sister sent me for Christmas. The gerbera daisys have gone on to flower heaven, but the mums and the greenery still look as fresh as the day they arrived. The only thing that would have made the day normaler would be if I had gone off to work in the morning--oh, and didn't have cancer. Nothing is perfect.
xxooxx

Quick, Call 911

I have taken leave of my senses. I just did the biannual vacuuming of the stairs. I am now a sweaty mess and completely exhausted. Now for those of you who haven't been to my house, I have maybe a total of 13 stairs. Steps, not staircases. When you only do it every other year, there's a lot to vacuum. I can't think what possessed me. I may start vacuuming and dusting the rest of the house. Or maybe I'll take my sweater off and lie down. Some of this dust is ready for the Smithsonian. Maybe I'm just killing time before football. I have two games I can watch today--pro ball, which isn't as exciting as college, but when in a pinch...
xxooxx

A Perfect Way to Start a Year

Sunday after church and a meeting that looked like it would never end, I came home, had my PB&J sandwich, packed up the car (with Glenn's help, of course), and set of for the Sonoma Mission Inn. I went by way of the ocean, so there was next to no traffic. I think my car can make it there on autopilot. As I turned left on Boyes Bl, I noticed the windows of the Big Three were covered. Hmmm...not a good sign. Turned left into the hotel property and felt like I was home anyway. Got the car unloaded, registered, was taken to my upgraded room that was a suite--sorry--no pictures this time. This time it was a Wine Country suite--with a name--I was in the Hanzell Suite. Separate living room with fireplace, cozy loveseat and chair with ottoman, lots of windows on three sides of the room--I'm sure it is perfectly lovely when the sun shines--which it didn't most of the time. There was a cozy bedroom and huge bath. I got the car parked then went off to the spa for my only treatment of the day and an abbreviated bathing ritual. They gave me a locker key when I checked in at the Rotunda--I didn't think much of it--just thought they were cutting back on staff for the slow time. Then I opened my locker, and there was a love note from the spa staff, a gift of spa goodies, and a bottle of water. A woman who was changing looked on and said, "You must be really special." I said, "I am." At least that's the way they make me feel. I had Reike with reflexology with Diane--a perfect way to start. We cried over the return of my cancer, though Diane told me that she and sensed a darkness where my new tumor is the last time she saw me.
Since my Big Three was closed for renovation, I ordered room service. While I was waiting for dinner, a new room service menu was brought to my room--considerably downsizing the offerings. I was not pleased. I don't particularly care for the hotel's other restaurant, Sante--foodies love it, but it is really too froo-froo for me. I don't eat things I can't pronounce. No matter, I was in Sonoma, where I am happy, and things would work out.
Monday was a busy day. I started with a Chadonnay Olive Oil sugar Scrub with Laura. I was soft and smooth and smelled wonderful. after that, I had a Tandem Massage with Bill and Laura. I still think there should be a confessional booth right outside the treatment room. If it isn't a deadly sin, it should be. Nothing should feel that good.
I had lunch and watched my soap opera--who perfect was that? I trotted back to the spa for a full bathing ritual, followed by a Signature Facial with Diane--who knew she was a face lady too?--and a Rejuvenating Kur with David. We closed down the Spa for the evening. I reluctantly went to Sante for dinner, though I wasn't terribly hungry. I had celery root soup to die for and Fuji apple fritters for desert. Perfect. Back to the room, lit a fire (in the fireplace so you shouldn't worry) and knit a little before bedtime.
Tuesday morning, I had a Sonoma Stone massage with David--that's another one of those divine treatments that should be on the Index. I had time for lunch and Soap again before the Bathing Ritual and a Body Coffee Wrap with Soledad. Now Soley was not on my original program--horror of horrors--so when a little bird named Laura told me that she was left off, I fixed that. How can you go to Sonoma without Soledad? You just can't, that's all there is to it. The Body Coffee Scrub is actually one of my favorite treatments, but I didn't do it this time because it is really abrasive and I thought it would be too much for my chemo skin, so I settled for the Wrap. It doesn't have quite the knock your-socks-off-it's-time-to-wake-up smell, but it is a lovely treatment-especially with Soledad. after that, I had a virgin experience. I had a Thai Massage--wow--it won't be my last. My provider was Sharon--Bill's other half. It was incredible. I've always been really flexible--unusual for a fat lady--so I got great stretches--and a tee shirt!
Dinner at Sante again--weed salad and a pork tenderloin to die for. Knitting in front of the fire until I fell asleep completed the evening.
Wednesday morning I pushed myself to get out early and wolf down breakfast so I had time for the Bathing Ritual before my first treatment--Spirulina Body Wrap with Soledad. This is not one of the most glamours treatments, but it's one of the best. Your skin feels so soft and yummy when you are done, even though they make you look like the creature from the Black Lagoon during the treatment. I had an hour and a half between the Wrap and my only Watsu, so I stayed in the lounge and knit, sipped hot cider, snacked on dried fruit and almonds, and let my skin absorb all the oil it could. I only allowed myself one Watsu on purpose, because it was really cold. You feel grand when you are under the 98 degree water, but the parts that are out are a little chilly and getting from the pool to the dressing room can be a challenge. I had Glenn for my Watsu. It was a great stretch, it was life affirming, it was consoling, it brought tears more than once just from the sweetness of it. Glenn just held me like a precious child and comforted me-and promised to respect me in the morning. If I only had time for one Glenn treatment, that was it.
When I got brave enough after the Watsu, I wrapped myself in a towel and put my robe over that and dashed (well, a dash for me) to the dressing room to dump the wet towel and suit, then sat bythe fire in the lounge to wait for my Honey Steam Wrap with Arlene--the perfect finale after a Watsu in the winter.
Last treatment completed, I availed myself of the golf cart for a ride back to my room. I more or less watched Judge Judy and knit then more or less (mostly less) watched Dr. Phil and slept. Back to Sante for dinner--weed salad and rack of lamb and a butterscotch tart for desert. Delicious--except for the weeds. I'm hoping that foodies will someday rediscover iceberg lettuce.
Thursday monring was very sad, because it was time to leave. I had the bell staff stow my luggage, wolfed down a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, and hit the spa for the stone pedicure and a manicure with Bebe. You always do that last so you don't have to worry about your nails during the treatments--especially the scrubs. It was very slow at the spa all week, so I pretty much had the place to myself--which was appropriate because it IS my spa. Bebe and i was alone in the Salon. My nails were so happy to finally get their turn. They are a real kickass color called A Oui Bit of Red. I'm ready for my next chemo in this color. I sat in the lounge and did sodukos while my fingers dried, and then had lunch, checked out and came home. I got started a little after two and went home via the Geary Bl and the beach, so had no traffic to speak of. I'm now trying to figure out when I can spend a few days there in February. I have one more room upgrade certificate that needs to be used by the 28th of Feb and it seems a shame to waste it.
I got home and smiled at the Christmas tree. I know it is time to come down, but I don't want it to go just yet. I know I will get the same warm feeling just thinking about it as I do looking at it, but I still like looking at it just the same.
xxooxx

Your Basic Perfect New Year's Day

I got up at 8 in the morning, watched the Rose Parade, had my breakfast, watched two miscellaneous bowl games, watched the Rose Bowl---I couldn't make my body cheer for USC but I was rooting mightily for the Pac 10--the much maligned Pac 10. Five Bowl games, five wins. Very sweet. After that I watched the Orange Bowl, rooting for Virginia Tech because my friend Taylor went there, and they won. I was happy, I hope Taylor is happy. I've known Taylor almost as long as I've known my sister. Our Mother sang at his parents' wedding. Anyway, after watching football all day, now it's time for bed. Bowl season is a college football junkie's paradise. Of course, it's sort of like the big display at the end of a fireworks show--it's a long dry spell till football season starts up again.
xxooxx