Saturday, May 3, 2008

Hairwatch

"Give me down to there, shoulder length or longer..." The lyrics keep running through my head. Might even be worth finding a turntable and hauling out my old late 60's recording of "Hair." The hair loss has started in earnest. At first it was the H&G thing of dropping a trail of hair wherever I went. This morning, my scalp hurt--losing chunks of hair can't be far behind. Individual strands are still coming out, but in greater number.
I remember being terribly concerned that my mother would lose her hair when she was diagnosed with leukemia--16 years and five days before they found my cancer. Eventually, hair loss was a non-issue, with all the other stuff that was going on. I know it has to happen, and I know that it will grow back before the end of the year. I have lots of pretty scarves and hats and the wigs are on order and due in on Tuesday. I'm trying to be strong about it, but right now all that isn't working. I almost wish that at a given signal it would all fall out and get it over with--there's that patience thing getting in the way of reality again. I could have it cut short or off--I just couldn't bring myself to do that. Some perverse part of me wants to mourn each hair that falls to the ground. I never used to mind losing the white hairs, but the brown ones are traitors. I always wanted to tape them back when they would come out before in the natural cycle of hair.
So I'm feeling sorry for myself this morning. My scalp hurts and I need someone to follow me around with a dust pan. I'll get over it.
xxooxx

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, some good news, Anne! Hair is way over rated. Take it from me. Anyway, you can always trick people who don't know you and tell them that you've converted to Islam :) Barry sends his love.

Victoria said...

Good to see you today. That was a fast 16 years. How about you don't point that out anymore-- then I can convince myself that college wasn't so far away...